Arsenal Thread..

[Jaco2]

A FOOTY JOKE

 

An Arsenal fan, a Chelsea fan and a Spurs fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a

smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rush in and arrest them.

The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible

crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able

to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

 

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the

extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes

each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said:

 

"It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one

wish before your whipping."

The Spurs fan was first in line (he had drunk only 5 bottles of beer), so he thought

about this for a while and then said:

 

"Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The

Spurs fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying out in pain when the punishment

was done.

 

The Chelsea fan was next up (he almost finished 10 bottles of beer), and after watching

the scene, said: "Choice! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could

only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again. The Chelsea fan had to be carried

away bleeding and crying out in pain when the punishment was done.

 

The Arsenal fan was the last one up as he had finished off the crate. Before he could

say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:

"....You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your city has some of the best and

most loyal football fans in the world and your Emirates Stadium is magnificent. The

Emir of the Emirates is a good friend of mine. For this, you may have two wishes!"

 

"Cheers guv, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", The Arsenal fan replies.

"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but

one hundred lashes."

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave. "

The Sheikh says with an admiring look on his face.

 

"If 100 lashes is what you Desire, then so be it. And your second wish - what is it to be?"

 

the Sheikh asked. The Arsenal fan replies:

"Your Royal highness - please tie the Spurs fan to my back ..............."

Edited February 22, 2008 by Jaco2

[onourway]

Don't mention it old chap! Zola - great player. Would have looked better in a red and white shirt

but we had another 'lege' at the time.................

 

http://www.talkfootball.co.uk/guides/footb...s_bergkamp.html

 

 

 

PS: You didn't provide a prediction for the Cup Final !!

 

Chelsea 1-0 Spurs

 

PS Bergkamp not fit to lace Zola's boots...

[TGL]

I'm a big Manchester United fan so is my boss, I've been to Old Trafford before with him to watch them play and it was great giving Arsenal a good spanking last week in the FA Cup. :

[papa_soda]

Arsenal V Birmingham 12.45 Kickoff GMT

BIG-MATCH FACTS

 

Premier League leaders Arsenal have the opportunity to go eight points clear of second placed Manchester United for at least four and a half hours with victory over relegation haunted Birmingham.

 

Only goal difference is keeping Alex McLeish's side out of the relegation zone.

 

This is the Brummies worst ever season in the Premier League, and Arsenal's second best.

 

The Midlanders have not won a league game in seven since entertaining Middlesbrough; the Gunners have not lost a league match in 10 since visiting Middlesbrough.

 

Birmingham's solitary Premier League victory from nine attempts against Arsenal was 2-1 at St Andrews on 15 May 2005, when Emile Heskey struck a dramatic winner in the dying seconds after Dennis Bergkamp had appeared to salvage a draw in the 88th minute. Walter Pandiani had opened the scoring in the 80th minute against an Arsenal side whose minds were on the then forthcoming FA Cup final.

[onourway]

Arsenal V Birmingham 12.45 Kickoff GMT

BIG-MATCH FACTS

 

Premier League leaders Arsenal have the opportunity to go eight points clear of second placed Manchester United for at least four and a half hours with victory over relegation haunted Birmingham.

 

Only goal difference is keeping Alex McLeish's side out of the relegation zone.

 

This is the Brummies worst ever season in the Premier League, and Arsenal's second best.

 

The Midlanders have not won a league game in seven since entertaining Middlesbrough; the Gunners have not lost a league match in 10 since visiting Middlesbrough.

 

Birmingham's solitary Premier League victory from nine attempts against Arsenal was 2-1 at St Andrews on 15 May 2005, when Emile Heskey struck a dramatic winner in the dying seconds after Dennis Bergkamp had appeared to salvage a draw in the 88th minute. Walter Pandiani had opened the scoring in the 80th minute against an Arsenal side whose minds were on the then forthcoming FA Cup final.

 

Wobble Wobble Wobble....

 

Plenty of squeakey Gooner arse's now

 

Hope none of you forget last season when you crashed out the cup, prem & CL in about 7 days...

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/e...rem/7248309.stm

[boxterman]

Gallas is starting to lose the plot, threw his Dummies out of the pram again today

[sanders]

nasty tackle today, horrific

[onourway]

Gallas is starting to lose the plot, threw his Dummies out of the pram again today

 

Great player & despite his treachary to Chelsea, I would take him back tomorrow no questions asked but, he was always one that was close to edge emotionally & and possible candidate for something crazy to happen to team mates or opposition.

[Mavrick]

Birmingham 2-2 Arsenal

[onourway]

Birmingham 2-2 Arsenal

 

Are we seeing another gooners season collapse like last year

 

Looking forward to the 4th March

[sexy man]

yes the reds goal difference last night might come down to that

[Fire1]

typical Arsenal over reaction again, yeah, the guy was hurt bad, but the tackle wasnt malicious, eduardo was too quick, hope he recovers soon.

 

By the way Scummers, enjoy watching the YIDARMY at Wembley on a lovely sunny day. 2-1 Berbatov/Keane...

 

Only through the vortex of our deepest fear can we see with true clarity.

19th Truth

[papa_soda]

Birmingham 2-2 Arsenal

I did PM Jaco on your behalf last night so i gather you havent heard from him yet

[Mavrick]

I think Jaco and all the other Gooners fans seems to be in hiding today, when they win they are the first on here bragging but when they loose or draw you don't see them for a few days.

[papa_soda]

typical Arsenal over reaction again, yeah, the guy was hurt bad, but the tackle wasnt malicious, eduardo was too quick, hope he recovers soon.

 

By the way Scummers, enjoy watching the YIDARMY at Wembley on a lovely sunny day. 2-1 Berbatov/Keane...

 

Only through the vortex of our deepest fear can we see with true clarity.

19th Truth

 

Well done on winning the Tea Cup after a long wait. Enjoy watching the Champions League something the Spurs wont be doing for many a few years.BYE BYE Bergotov (Man U bound)..Spurs Big Club my Arse...

I think Jaco and all the other Gooners fans seems to be in hiding today, when they win they are the first on here bragging but when they loose or draw you don't see them for a few days.

Dont worry Mav the BM Gooners are hear to answer any questions

[Fire1]

Well done on winning the Tea Cup after a long wait. Enjoy watching the Champions League something the Spurs wont be doing for many a few years.BYE BYE Bergotov (Man U bound)..Spurs Big Club my Arse...

 

a cup is a cup, we are in europe again, remember 5-1 heres hoping the SCUM win fuck all!!

 

Dont worry Mav the BM Gooners are hear to answer any questions

 

Where??

 

 

Only through the vortex of our deepest fear can we see with true clarity.

19th Truth

[papa_soda]

Where??

 

 

Only through the vortex of our deepest fear can we see with true clarity.

19th Truth

U again??

& some simple facts..

* Arsène Wenger celebrated ten years at the Club on September 28, 2006.

* Arsenal are the first London club to reach the final of the European Cup/Champions League.

* Arsenal played 2,010 games at Highbury, won 1,196, drew 475 and lost 339. They scored 4,038 and conceded 1,955.

* The first goal scored at Emirates Stadium was from Klaas Jan Huntelaar of Ajax in the Dennis Bergkamp Testimonial.

* Arsène Wenger has won seven major honours at Arsenal (three league championships, four FA Cups) - more than any other Gunners boss.

* Arsenal’s league record during the 2003/04 season was played 38, won 26, drawn 12, lost 0 — the only time in the modern era a side has remained unbeaten for the duration of a league season.

* Thierry Henry is the only player ever to win Football Writers’ Association Player of the Year three times. He has also been named PFA Players’ Player of the Year twice.

* No other club in the world had more players at the 2006 FIFA World Cup than Arsenal, who sent 16 players.

* The 2001 FA Youth Cup victory was Arsenal’s sixth in all, only Manchester United have won more.

* Dennis Bergkamp’s goal against Newcastle at St James’ Park in the 2002/03 season was named ITV’s ‘The Premiership’ Goal of the Season and the second best Premiership goal ever.

* Francesc Fabregas is Arsenal’s youngest ever player, making his debut at 16 years and 177 days against Rotherham in the Carling Cup Third Round on October 28, 2003.

* The Spaniard is also the Club’s youngest scorer, netting against Wolves in the Carling Cup Fourth Round aged 16 years and 212 days.

* Arsenal have twice clinched the league title at White Hart Lane (1971 and 2004). In addition the Gunners have won the league at Old Trafford, Anfield and Stamford Bridge (twice).

* In the 2001/2002 season, 22 Arsenal players earned a Championship medal, including three different goalkeepers.

* Last season Arsenal set a record for most consecutive clean sheets in the Champions League with ten. During the campaign they did not concede a goal for 996 consecutive minutes.

* Assistant manager Pat Rice has been involved in all of Arsenal’s ‘double’ successes, playing in 1971 and assisting Arsène Wenger in 1998 and 2002.

* Gael Clichy is the youngest player ever to win a Premiership winners’ medal, at 18 years and ten months.

* Thierry Henry has been named in the PFA Premiership All-Star team in each of the past six seasons.

* Arsène Wenger was the first foreign manager to lead a team to the English League Championship.

* Arsenal are the only team to score in every game in a Premiership season, achieving the feat in the 2001/02 championship campaign.

* Arsenal has the longest unbroken run in the English top division, having been there since 1919. They were last relegated in season 1912/13 when they finished in 20th position.

* Theo Walcott is the youngest player ever to represent England, making his debut on May 30, 2006 at the age of 17 years and 75 days.

* Between May 19, 2001 and November 30, 2002 Arsenal scored in 55 consecutive league matches — an English record.

* Tony Adams lifted more trophies than any other Arsenal Captain — nine (four Championships, three FA Cups, one League Cup and the Cup Winners’ Cup).

* Arsenal have appeared in a record equalling 25 FA Cup Semi-Finals, the same as Manchester United.

* Thierry Henry and Gilberto both have World Cup winner’s medals.

* Thierry Henry and Jens Lehmann both earned selection to the 2006 World Cup All Star Team of the Tournament.

* Midfielder Gilberto played in every minute of Brazil’s successful World Cup tournament in 2002.

* During 2003/04 Arsenal were unbeaten away from home in league fixtures, the second time in the space of three years that they managed this feat.

* Lauren is an Olympic gold medallist, he helped Cameroon to the title at the Sydney Olympics in 2000.

* Arsenal’s first ever game at Highbury was a 2-1 victory over Leicester Fosse in a Division Two fixture in September 1913.

* Current head of youth development, Liam Brady, was voted Arsenal’s ‘Player of the Season’ three times before his move to Juventus.

* Former head youth coach and Under-19s coach, Don Howe, played for (1964-67), coached and managed (1983-86) Arsenal during his association with the Club.

* Freddie Ljungberg scored in both the 2001 and 2002 FA Cup Finals, the first player to score in consecutive finals for 40 years.

* Arsène Wenger was awarded France’s highest civil medal, the Legion of Honour, in the summer of 2002. Thierry Henry and Robert Pires also picked up the honour after the 1998 World Cup.

* Mr Wenger was also awarded the O.B.E for his services to British football in 2003 and was given the Freedom of Islington in 2004.

* Arsenal’s home UEFA Champions League fixtures in seasons 1998/99 and 1999/00 were held at Wembley. The Club’s fixture against RC Lens at Wembley on November 25, 1998 was attended by 73,707 - a record crowd for an Arsenal ‘home’ game.

* Former captain Tony Adams made 669 appearances in all competitions for the Gunners, scoring 48 goals. He was at the Club for 22 years. Only David O’Leary, with 722 appearances, played more times for Arsenal.

* Lauren has twice won the African Nations Cup with Cameroon, in 2000 and 2002.

* Arsenal beat Manchester United 3-1 to win the FA Community Shield in August 2004. Arsenal have won the trophy outright a record equalling 11 times, and have also shared it once.

* The Arsenal Ladies won the league and FA Cup ‘double’ last season, for the fifth time in their history.

* In August 2002 Arsenal registered their 14th straight league win, breaking the all-time record in top flight football.

* The oldest player ever to represent Arsenal is Jock Rutherford, who was 41 years and 236 days old when he appeared against Manchester City.

* In January 2003 Dennis Bergkamp and Thierry Henry both scored their 100th goals for the Club — taking the number of players who have reached three figures for Arsenal to 16.

* The Club record for consecutive home victories in the Premiership (10) was set against Manchester City on September 10, 2002.

* When Arsenal beat Blackburn Rovers 3-0 on August 25, 2004, they set a new English record for consecutive unbeaten league matches, breaking Nottingham Forest’s sequence of 42 from 1978. The run was eventually stretched to 49 matches.

* Arsenal’s biggest ever league victory was a 12-0 win over Loughborough Town on March 12, 1900. Coincidentally, the Club’s biggest league defeat was also against Loughborough Town — 8-0 in 1896.

* Arsenal’s record for most league goals in a season is 127, set in the championship winning season of 1930/31. The least league goals Arsenal have conceded in a season is 18, in the 1990/91 season — another championship year.

* On December 14, 1935 Ted Drake scored all seven goals in Arsenal’s 7-1 win over Aston Villa at Villa Park — it remains a record. Ted Drake also holds the record for most goals in a season for Arsenal with 42.

* Thierry Henry has won the Premier League Golden Boot four times in the past five years.

* Arsenal competed in, and won (1-0), the first ever ‘indoor’ FA Cup Final. Due to heavy rain, the roof on the Millennium Stadium was closed for the entire 2003 Final against Southampton.

* The highest ever attendance at Highbury is 73,295, set against Sunderland on March 9, 1935.

* Arsenal’s first ever recognised fixture was a friendly against Eastern Wanderers on December 11, 1886. Arsenal were then known as Dial Square FC.

* Arsenal’s most capped player is Patrick Vieira, who made 79 appearances for France while an Arsenal player.

* The Club’s highest tally of league points for a season is 90, set in 2003/2004.

* Arsenal have made ten appearances at the Millennium Stadium.

* Arsenal beat Manchester United 5-4 on penalties in the 2005 FA Cup Final, the first time the Cup has been decided that way in its 133-year history.

* Arsène Wenger is the only Arsenal manager to have won the FA Cup four times, and is the second most successful manager in the history of the competition.

* Cesc Fabregas is the Club’s youngest ever scorer in league football, scoring against Blackburn in August 2004 at 17 years and 113 days.

* Arsenal remained unbeaten for 18 consecutive FA Cup matches between 2001 and 2004 - a post-war record.

* Thierry Henry is Arsenal’s all-time leading goalscorer with 214 goals up to the end of the 2005/06 season. He broke Ian Wright’s old record with two goals against Sparta Prague on October 18, 2006.

* Pat Rice, either as a player or Assistant Manager, has been to ten FA Cup Finals with Arsenal.

* In 1950 Arsenal became the first Club to win the FA Cup without leaving London during the entire run.

* Tomas Rosicky and Freddie Ljungberg were named as captains of their respective national teams during the summer of 2006.

* In September 2006 Emirates Stadium hosted the first ever friendly between Brazil and Argentina to take place outside of South America.

[Guest Q]

UP THE ARSE!!

[Fire1]

Your post is like your football....fucking boring!!!

 

YIDS!

 

Only through the vortex of our deepest fear can we see with true clarity.

19th Truth

[Jaco2]

I think Jaco and all the other Gooners fans seems to be in hiding today, when they win they are the first on here bragging but when they loose or draw you don't see them for a few days.

 

 

1. Typical ManUre bollox!! You lot are ALWAYS crowing before time! As I've told some of the BMs here I've been on a residential course and was checking the boards only when possible via my laptop. Was travelling back to the Smoke yesterday afternoon and only got back last night in

time for work this a.m. Didn't get a chance to go online on Saturday and but for the course, I'd

have also been at the London meeting too!

 

2. With that out of the way, let me say the following:

 

(a) Only saw the highlights of the match and although I was willing Chelscum on to win yesterday, I must congratulate the SpudsScum on winning their first trophy after NINE LONG BARREN YEARS. Fair play to them but will they wait 9 more years for the next one? Watch this space........

(sorry Sanch, but the Spuds were the better team - why did Grant play Anelka on the left wing??)

 

(b) We should have won the game v Birmingham. It was never a penalty and we were robbed but

c'est la vie. We got a point. Hopefully, RVP will be back soon and Theo will get a chance to add to his brace v Birmingham.

 

© Hope that Eduardo will be back. The injury was horrific.

 

(d) We are still top of the Prem by 3 points (that one's for Mav). The run in will be interesting but as I have to remind some of you (Sanch and especially Mav) titles are won in May not in February!

 

[papa_soda]

Your post is like your football....fucking boring!!!

 

YIDS!

 

Only through the vortex of our deepest fear can we see with true clarity.

19th Truth

No your the Boring 1 fecking start your own thread should be a laugh about your proud history of living in the shadows of the mighty Arsenal.

Edited February 25, 2008 by Kenshi

[Alleycat]

Your post is like your football....fucking boring!!!

 

YIDS!

 

Only through the vortex of our deepest fear can we see with true clarity.

19th Truth

 

 

So our football is boring??????...OK you started with a falshood so you have no credibilty in anything further you say as all you are doing is airing your painful inadequacy and envy as a fan supporting an inferior team...Any footballing fan worth their salt cannot call Arsenal's football boring, many other things, but boring? no way..Man U and Arsenal are playing some of the best football in the premiership, that is a statement of fact

[Alleycat]

I think Jaco and all the other Gooners fans seems to be in hiding today, when they win they are the first on here bragging but when they loose or draw you don't see them for a few days.

 

 

Hey Mav...Check the posts immediately after the drubbing you gave us in the FA cup...Now that was a time to hide and we came out and congratulated Man U ...After the injury to Eduardo I was not thinking football to be honest mate, that's why I didn't respond to the Birmingham result.

[Jaco2]

Hey Mav...Check the posts immediately after the drubbing you gave us in the FA cup...Now that was a time to hide and we came out and congratulated Man U ...After the injury to Eduardo I was not thinking football to be honest mate, that's why I didn't respond to the Birmingham result.

 

AC:

 

It's called "ManUre selective memory"! He obviously hasn't seen my posts after the 4-0 spanking OR my post earlier today yet either!! The season's still going strong so I will have a chance to reply!!

 

Had a look at the thread & pics for the Captain's send off. Looks like you guys had a good laugh on Saturday! Hope to meet you and some of the others at the next one - if you're not in LOS like Kenshi, of course (the lucky sod!!)

[Alleycat]

AC:

 

It's called "ManUre selective memory"! He obviously hasn't seen my posts after the 4-0 spanking OR my post earlier today yet either!! The season's still going strong so I will have a chance to reply!!

 

Had a look at the thread & pics for the Captain's send off. Looks like you guys had a good laugh on Saturday! Hope to meet you and some of the others at the next one - if you're not in LOS like Kenshi, of course (the lucky sod!!)

 

 

Would love to meet up Jaco mate. Panudate is arranging a Meet for Songkran in April and I will be back on the 24th April into Pattaya...See you soon fella...