Delayed Ejaculation - Tips on how to solve this "issue"

[chirockr]

Learn to control your PC muscles (pubococcygeal) the muscles that start and stop pee.

Tried and true method that works. Bring yourself to the edge and learn to control the muscles approaching ejaculation. You’ll “go overboard” a few times but you will get better as you learn to squeeze down and strengthen the muscles that control this. 

Sidenote: The psychological aspect associated with the trigger you have in your mind takes time to untangle from the physical interaction. 

[Joeleg]

Get it occasionally and unexpectedly. Not when the sex is crazy hot. Initially became anxious which made it worse. Then did an oscar winning fake orgasm. It helped the mind. Now rarely and I know the fallback is a fake orgasm. Tried to isolate the cause but unable to. Still think it is a combination of mind and girl. 

In one of the first incidents, the girl accused me of playing with myself before I picked her. She was clearly pissed with me.

[1tooth]

I've read the post. It's just my opinion, but I think we are all getting too technical. Instead just apply Occam's razor.

1. Erection and or ejaculation is a function/combination of attraction and excitement. Too much sex (or porn) dulls the excitement. Abstinence/moderation will get everything working perfectly.

2. Viagara/Cialis will get things hard even when you are not attracted/excited, but if you ain't excited, the orgasm may be difficult.

 

[wolfgang68]

Try  Karsai  massage.

[Farangkie]

6 minutes ago, wolfgang68 said:

Try  Karsai  massage.

Where can you get it in Pattaya?

[wolfgang68]

12 minutes ago, Syco said:

Where can you get it in Pattaya?

I go to Thanya Health massage at Thappraya corner Thepprasit road, 50meters after the crossing in direction Jomtien beach.

 

[BuakhaoBarry]

I've been on anti depressants for about 6 months (citalopram) and just started seeing someone new. Fuck me I literally cannot cum for a good 60-90 minutes. Its a very known side effect of the medication. Frustrating as fuck. 

[plahgat]

I think it can also be a physical problem because of incompatible genitals! 🙄

We guys all have different sized penises, but even for girls the internal size, shape and firmness of their vaginas differs a lot as well!

I have noticed that with some girls I will cum easily everytime, with others it will take some more time and yet others I will never cum no matter how long and hard I try!😣

... and it doesn´t have much to do with their external looks or how I feel about them, as I only take girls that I feel attracted to anyway.

For me the biggest success of cumming during intercourse is if I have a young fit girl that never gave birth,

as the chance of a tighter and more muscular vagina is bigger and hence a better physical stimulation of my dick during intercourse!

When I look back most of the girls that have made me cum easily have been younger women 18-22 yeo with no babies,

only a few 1 baby mothers has made me cum, and I never came with girls who had 2-3 babies.

Abstinence from sex a few days will also help to increase my libido, especially now as I am getting older.

Plahgat

 

 

 

Edited February 24, 2022 by plahgat

[jaykao]

16 hours ago, BuakhaoBarry said:

I've been on anti depressants for about 6 months (citalopram) and just started seeing someone new. Fuck me I literally cannot cum for a good 60-90 minutes. Its a very known side effect of the medication. Frustrating as fuck. 

Yeah this is a known issue that’s affected me before. Ive avoid these meds in favour of psychology since because of this (though obviously if you need them).

I spoke with a psychiatrist once and when I declined the prescription she said ah you probably don’t want the sexual side effects.

I’ve been thinking about more about DE recently, and these how these kind of meds influence it and the neurobiology of it all.

Citalopram and some other antidepressants reduce dopamine levels and increase serotonin.  Dopamine plays a key role in ejaculation. Some people taking anti psychotics which reduce dopamine can’t cum at all.

There’s more than this but ofc but don’t want to write too much. Anyway it makes me think for DE it could be worth trying supplementing the dopamine precursor l-tyrosine or even Munica Puriens which boosts dopamine more directly. 

Obviously depends on each persons health situation (especially mental health). Huberman podcast has more good info on dopamine’s  action, supplementing etc. 

[Ohyesuare]

Welbutrin is an anti-depressant which is known to not have any sexual side effects like the others do.

[buksida]

Some really useful info in this thread. Back in my mid 20s living here I was shagging plenty of birds without requests for payment. Sometimes I had this problem, even though I was very fit. I figured it was because I was focused on pleasing the girl. Now early 50s and divorced it's become a problem for me again, I am fine if it's a happy ending or BJ bar, the problem seems to be when I'm also focused on my partners pleasure. I've also been using the ED meds, but could do without, but girls are impressed when it's rock hard, they think it reflects on them.

I think for me it will mean more foreplay and maybe some BJ lessons for the girls, as they're not oral experts. I need to stop worrying about their needs and treat them more like sex objects, but they will be happier, because they take it very personally when I can't get there.

[Thomaz73]

35 minutes ago, buksida said:

I need to stop worrying about their needs and treat them more like sex objects

You're touching on some of my issues here. Another one I have is she's shaking her ass at me in the bar and I'm bursting. But back in the room after showers she's all shy and all the little sexy add ons are gone. Of course, this is also X beers later. Plus having to struggle with the fucking condom. Suffice to say, it doesn't always happen. 

[erikhansen]

On 13/12/2021 at 04:52, wolfgang68 said:

I am doing weekly a karsai massage, the first 2 times i only did cum "inside", the last session i had the real very strong orgasm. Due to lot of girls (hookers around the world) and excessive porn watching, my level to get excited is already very high, which makes an orgasm quite difficult to reach.

Also the therapist confirmed a very delayed climax and hard to get.

I hope that the special massages are unglogging some viens and glands, which also might be one of the many causes.

In any case, i think its better too late than too early.

Interesting, do you know any place in Bkk that do karsai massage?

I've got the same issues gone through hundreds of ladies and too much porn. Getting in shape/diet do help a little on stamina although not on the delayed ej. I do need a small dosage kamagragel to not loose erection, and combined with condoms this does not help. Hence the temptation for BB, which at times gets me in trouble.

As several other BMs in this thread points out it's probably a mental block as well. My go-to "trick" in the end (and when masturbating) is to hold my breath fucking them from behind when they are laying down since I don't want to see my red ugly out of breath face when I cum  
 

[wolfgang68]

55 minutes ago, erikhansen said:

Interesting, do you know any place in Bkk that do karsai massage?

I've got the same issues gone through hundreds of ladies and too much porn. Getting in shape/diet do help a little on stamina although not on the delayed ej. I do need a small dosage kamagragel to not loose erection, and combined with condoms this does not help. Hence the temptation for BB, which at times gets me in trouble.

As several other BMs in this thread points out it's probably a mental block as well. My go-to "trick" in the end (and when masturbating) is to hold my breath fucking them from behind when they are laying down since I don't want to see my red ugly out of breath face when I cum  
 

I only know and experienced personally a Karsai massage place in Pattaya, I don't know about BKK.

I also believe the delayed or sometimes impossible orgasm has to do with age, physical shape and certainly also mentally.

As for me, I don't mind if I cannot cum sometimes at sex, for sure the next day in a massage shop I will explode when all muscles and mind is relaxed after a 1 hour massage and teasing.

I just don't think about anymore, whatever happens, just happens.

And the girls don't care as well, they receive same same money with or without sperm.

[Farangkie]

5 minutes ago, wolfgang68 said:

 

As for me, I don't mind if I cannot cum sometimes at sex, for sure the next day in a massage shop I will explode when all muscles and mind is relaxed after a 1 hour massage and teasing.

I just don't think about anymore, whatever happens, just happens.

And the girls don't care as well, they receive same same money with or without sperm.

Same for me, Iv'e come to expect not to come during sex, but to solve that problem, just go and see a blow job expert like Juney on Soi Pothole. Absolutely no problem cumming with her skills. 

 

 

Edited April 3, 2022 by Syco

[erikhansen]

4 hours ago, wolfgang68 said:

I only know and experienced personally a Karsai massage place in Pattaya, I don't know about BKK.

I also believe the delayed or sometimes impossible orgasm has to do with age, physical shape and certainly also mentally.

As for me, I don't mind if I cannot cum sometimes at sex, for sure the next day in a massage shop I will explode when all muscles and mind is relaxed after a 1 hour massage and teasing.

I just don't think about anymore, whatever happens, just happens.

And the girls don't care as well, they receive same same money with or without sperm.

 

4 hours ago, Syco said:

Same for me, Iv'e come to expect not to come during sex, but to solve that problem, just go and see a blow job expert like Juney on Soi Pothole. Absolutely no problem cumming with her skills. 

 

 

This is good advice actually. Perhaps accepting that I will not cum every time is the way to go and adapt the "mai pen rai" to it. Back soon so will put it to practice. 

[jaykao]

17 minutes ago, erikhansen said:

 

This is good advice actually. Perhaps accepting that I will not cum every time is the way to go and adapt the "mai pen rai" to it. Back soon so will put it to practice. 

That's definitely a good idea, trying to hard to will something that's essentially involuntary is always a bad idea. Same with sleep, or trying to get it up, stressing and trying to make it happen makes it worse. 

[Wiley Coyote]

On 03/04/2022 at 15:52, erikhansen said:

 

This is good advice actually. Perhaps accepting that I will not cum every time is the way to go and adapt the "mai pen rai" to it. Back soon so will put it to practice. 

That is one of the reasons I try to find LLT

It happens naturally ,once you know her

[Jaber]

Came across this while looking for recommended dentists in this section, never thought it was a relatively common issue. I thought I had a secret superpower. Looking through the thread saw various tips, I want to share my experience and it is not a tip. Sorry for the length. Just putting it out there after years of keeping it to myself.

I have had this issue since a long time. Not had many partners in life, occasional mongering and a couple of girlfriends far in between. I looked it up in those days and came up with articles stating that it is physiological and not physical. Basically that you are a closet homosexual and hence you can't come with women. Didn't make any sense to me. Also, there was a paper by some Japanese researchers that it was caused by excessive masturbation ( I have a very active sex life with my right hand), and can be fixed by using a Tenga like device. Tried that, It didn't work. Finally got some success after getting married (arranged marriage - no sex before getting married) towards the end of  the honeymoon. Failed marriage because of a dead bedroom until the wife wanted to have a kids and then the sex was day and night. I was worried that I won't be able to father a kid if I can't shoot. This changed rapidly, I was coming in minutes. Again dead bedroom after the pregnancy and same issue after that.

I believe it is the compatibility between the partners and the frequency.

[Thomaz73]

8 hours ago, Jaber said:

Also, there was a paper by some Japanese researchers that it was caused by excessive masturbation

I'm fucked!

[Fired Up Paul]

7 hours ago, Thomaz73 said:

I'm fucked!

Well, reading through some of your posts in this thread, not always it seems 555.

[Farangkie]

Jim Jefferies sums up not being able to cum so perfectly.

 

 

[betraws]

On 13/12/2021 at 02:50, philkrenshaw said:

In Pattaya, it's not your job to make the girl cum, it's her job to make you come.

Don't worry about what the girl feels. She's getting paid for your shot so she'd probably rather get you off as fast as possible and leave. Let her know what feels good to you and she'll do her best.

If you want to go in her pussy, fine. Use a condom (it's Pattaya after all). If you can't cum with a condom no big deal, you can cum elsewhere. I almost always end up finishing bareback in a girl's mouth.

I suppose if you never do girls in the ass you could try it--the kinky factor might work for you. Someone above said he likes the girl to be a little drunk. Or maybe you want her to dress up like a schoolgirl, or wear high heels to bed, or thigh high boots, or pigtails, or big tits (you might get off on a titty fuck), or long hair, or tatoos, or whatever. Find a girl who has the appropriate outfit or if necessary, except for the boots, it should be easy for you to provide it. In short, if you don't get off on vanilla sex, try something different.

If you can cum with your hand, it's not a physical problem, it's mental.

There is a feedback loop along the nerve connection between your cock and your brain which passes your prostate and bladder. On one direction, you can see a hot girl and your brain sends a signal to your cock to get hard. Similar to using your imagination when you're jerking off. In the other direction, friction on your cock sends a signal to your brain to get ready to cum. Your prostate and bladder can effect the nerve and improve the signal in either or both directions.

Someone here mentioned doing it on a full bladder. See the preceding paragraph. One time at Devil's Den one of my girls stuck her vibrator up my ass while the other one was sucking my dick--I came really hard. See the preceding paragraph about the prostate. I'm guessing that's what helps get gay guys off when they do anal.

Also, as mentioned above, something like viagra gets your cock up but makes it harder to cum. Don't use it unless you really need it. And drinking will have bad side effects.

There are many options. Mix and match until you find what works for you.

A great post.

And it's good to know it's not just me!

I have had this problem forever.  So much so that I have never actually climaxed from sex at all and it's not really something that I find essential.  I have climaxed from other activities, but even then it's probably only 20 times I have had a finish delivered without my intervention (I'm 39).  This is great for whichever partner I have as they get multiple orgasms because I can just keep going.  But for me...somewhat frustrating.  

What you said about trying different things is my main goal during this trip.  Big boobs and titfucks seem to do it for me, but I'm keen to find something else.

Edited December 12, 2022 by betraws

[Scout55]

A couple of general tips to cum faster would be no pills/medicine, cut down on the drinks and maybe exercise a little.  My advanced tips would be to put a drop or two of lube on the head of your dick before you put on the condom (unless you have a situation where bare is applicable), use a non-latex condom (trojan supra) and/or possibly a bigger size condom(Skyn Large).... and probably most importantly, change girls often.  

[funtimedenver]

SSRIs made me a delayed ejaculator. I'll fuck for hours and hours at a time. Sometimes I'll bust and other times I won't. At least I know when I won't after an hour or so. It's all good with me though because now I concentrate on the journey not the destination.