Canterbury Tales Cafe & Bookshop

[paultain]

Aye! And don't forget this book is also available in CT............

[Daveo]

So far so good and all good reviews of this new book.

[paultain]

So far so good and all good reviews of this new book.

 

Cheers Dave........... good to hear that!

[Daveo]

2 new Books reviewed

 

 

 

 

Titanic: cost - $29.99

Clinton: cost - $29.99

 

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read

Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

 

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

 

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.

Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

 

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.

Clinton: Ditto for Monica

 

Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.

Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

 

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.

Clinton: Let's not go there.

 

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewellery

Clinton: Monica is forced to return her gifts.

 

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.

Clinton: Clinton remembers Monica for the rest of his life.

 

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.

Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

 

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.

Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary - basically the same thing.

[Daveo]

Room 3C available from 16th Jan to 12th Feb 2011

[Daveo]

<iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/YYqYEBTj5eo" frameborder="0"></iframe>

Edited December 15, 2010 by Daveo

[Daveo]

Sometime this year, the UK taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

 

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

 

 

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

 

A. It is money that the government will send to taxpayers.

 

 

Q. Where will the government get this money ?

 

A. From taxpayers.

 

 

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

 

A. Only a smidgen of it.

 

 

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

 

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

 

 

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

 

A. Oh shut up.

 

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.K. economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely:

 

* If you spend the stimulus money at Asda or Tesco, the money will go to China, Taiwan or Sri Lanka .

 

* If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.

 

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China.

 

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

 

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

 

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

 

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy shares, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

 

Instead, keep the money in the UK by:

 

1) Spending it at car boot sales, or

 

2) Going to night clubs, or

 

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

 

4) Beer or whiskey or

 

5) Tattoos.

 

(These are the only UK businesses still operating in the U.K.)

 

Conclusion:

 

Be patriotic - go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a car boot sale and drink beer day and night !

 

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

 

BEST PLAN IS SAVE IT FOR PATTAYA.

Edited December 16, 2010 by Daveo

[Daveo]

Good old British weather

[Clive kup]

I have many good things abiout your place Dave and a couple my pals have stayed there, I see your website too is very well put together, I will pop by when in town next and have a chat as I need a room in March for 2 months.

I see your webcam also and always very busy during the day.

[Daveo]

OK Clive, I will look forward to meeting you, just an update on Jimmy White, he is actually in the air as we speak and will be here at 3pm on the 22nd Wednesday for the book signing.

Cheers Dave

[Daveo]

Jimmy got half way here and more problems and had to return to UK, its being re scheduled for the not too distant future.

[Daveo]

Well while Jimmy has been re scheduled for March in his busy lifestyle I had the pleasure of having an evening with Ken Doherty at the Sportsman Bar and Restaurant this evening.

While Ken played a few guys and showed how easy it is he is a real nice guy and entertained well, he is a master at the ball game and potted some amazing shots the main thing for me Ken is a Gentleman through & through.

I chatted to him about Addicts and he said he would join but I had the feeling he was too busy with the Snooker life but wished him well on his future pursuits.

 

(PICS TO FOLLOW)

[Daveo]

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

 

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

 

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

 

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

 

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

 

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit'

 

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

 

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it'

 

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

 

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

 

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

 

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[iggy56]

i guess you wont have sex with your wife for a foreseeable future,but you have a good library to choose from

[juniordk]

 

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

 

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

 

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

 

Absolutely priceless - earns one Rep point as compensation.

 

Let's know how she responds

[Daveo]

Thanks for that........

[paultain]

Nice one Dave......... that was a goodin

[Daveo]

Those of you who used Nuch's Thai food establishment which was next to the continental bakery in soi Ex-zite they have moved only about 30 metres, see the link for directions etc

 

http://www.nuch-pattaya.com/

[Daveo]

Nice one Dave......... that was a goodin

 

Yes Paul, Happy new year mate, see you soon.

[Daveo]

A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck.

Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.

Looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island.

 

After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

 

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Welshman.

Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and... put his arm around it.

But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep,growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

 

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

 

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.

 

The only survivor was=2 0a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen.

She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health.

 

When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening... red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the Welshman started to get 'those feelings' again.

He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and realising he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear,

 

'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'

[Daveo]

This song & its title was an answer to a Final Jeopardy question--only one person got it right.

 

Question was (paraphrased) "What 1980s song do history teachers praise for its educational value."

 

Never could understand all the references on Billy Joel's song. Fortunately, with this video, given the picture(s), we now can "see" what our "ears" couldn't hear.

 

Anyway, checked to see purpose behind the song. Apparently, it's Joel's homage to the 40-years of historical headlines since his birth (1949). Wish we could have appreciated the depths of this song when it was released. Twenty years later, it's amazing what Joel was able to put into music and lyrics lasting only a few minutes.

 

Whether you are a Billy Joel fan or not, you probably remember his great song, 'We Didn't Start the Fire'. Here it is, set to pictures. It's a neat flashback through the past half century. I never did know all the words.

 

Turn up volume, sit back and enjoy a review of 50 years of history in less than 3 minutes!

 

Thanks to Billy Joel and some guy from the University of Chicago with a lot of spare time and Google.

 

Top left gives you full screen.

 

Top right lets you pause.

 

Bottom left shows the year.

 

The older you are, the more pictures you will recognize. Anyone over age 65 should remember over 90% of what they see. But it's great at any age.

 

CLICK BELOW

 

 

http://yeli.us/Flash/Fire.html

[Daveo]

6B available from 1st Feb, large room with separate bedroom and lounge, large flat screen TV, DVD player, Balcony, A/C, fan, table & chairs, sofa & recliner, en-suite, free wifi, in room safe, fridge, see the website for details and email me for a deal.

[Daveo]

Still available in the bookshop.

[Daveo]

Some useful info.

[Daveo]

Some useful info.

 

I would like to Thank Stewart from the Tourist Police Volunteers for supplying me with the above book marks as I have been putting them in all of the books and many have said how useful they are