Lets get stress a way! post some joke u know

[LittleTina]

as now day so serious let's shar some joke sharing laugh..... no matter u get it from just make a smile!!!!

 

-If guys had they periods

They wouldcompare the size of their tampons!

 

-Sex is when a guyscommunication enters a girls information to

increase the population for a younger generation do you get the

information...or do you need a demonstration

 

-HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper,console, worship, respect & love.

HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job

 

-last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky.... then I thought where the fuck is my roof??

 

[LittleTina]

oops!! sorry i thought this not on post that why i post new topic again sorry!! dont know how to delete the topic

sorry

Edited January 10, 2009 by LittleTina

[Stevie K]

No need to apologise so much LT. Its ok. Pretty funny OP.

[LittleTina]

Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.

 

2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.

 

3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.

 

4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.

 

5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.

 

6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.

 

7. It's best to have a soft place to land.

 

8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.

 

9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.

 

10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.

 

11. Once you learn, you never forget how.

 

12. If you fall off get right back on.

 

13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.

 

14. Remember to signal before you change direction.

 

15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.

 

16. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat.

 

17. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.

 

18. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.

[Roverman]

Here's a fresh one from the Antopodies... Probably only understood by the Aussie and Kiwis....

 

Sonny Fai has left the Warriors....

 

He is now with the Sharks...

 

BAD TASTE I KNOW!!!!

[LittleTina]

Three Guys Share A Bed

 

Three guys had to spend the night at a hotel and share a double bed.

 

In the morning, the guy on the right said "I had this great dream last night, that a girl gave me a handjob"

 

The guy on the left replied "That's weird so did I"

 

Finally, the guy in the middle said "Lucky for you guys...I only dream't I was skiing"

[Stevie K]

Here's a fresh one from the Antopodies... Probably only understood by the Aussie and Kiwis....

 

Sonny Fai has left the Warriors....

 

He is now with the Sharks...

 

BAD TASTE I KNOW!!!!

 

 

Thats nasty.

[Roverman]

Sorry Stevie!!........

 

 

 

 

You can text it to ya mates if you wish..... No copyright on my part

Edited January 10, 2009 by Roverman

[LittleTina]

Rodeo Sex

 

Two cowboys were sitting in a bar when one asked his friend if he had heard of the new sex position called rodeo. His friend says no, what is it?

 

Well you mount your wife from the back, reach around and cup her breasts with both hands.

 

Then say, "Boy, those are almost as nice as your sisters".

 

Then see if you can hold on for 8 seconds.

 

Over The Counter

 

A guy walks into a pharmacy.

 

He says to the pharmacist, "I've heard a lot about that viagra stuff. Does it really work."

 

The pharmacist says, "Yeah, it works great."

 

The guy asks, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?"

 

Pharmacist says, "Well, if you took enough I suppose you could."

[BSJ]

Here's a shithouse attempt at humour!

 

[Chris50]

Pero_having_a_piss.wmv hope you get this one

cheers chris

[Chris50]

will try this then

chris

[Chris50]

[Al.]

Al Fayed wants to sign Ronaldo for Fulham.

 

Not for his footballing prowess, but to teach his chauffeurs how to crash safely in tunnels.

[Al.]

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

 

The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

[Chris50]

[Al.]

I'll tell you what I really hate about my new thai bride.

She keeps leaving the toilet seat up!

[Al.]

My Mum used to say "boys will be boys"

 

I don't think she had ever been to Thailand

[Al.]

That Gary Glitter's a crafty old fucker but, I've found out his plan:

 

After Vietnam, Thailand, Hong Kong and Thailand again, now he's finally managed to get back to England he's earned enough AirMiles for two weeks in Butlins.

[Al.]

Flight BA 205 is approaching Bangkok airport.

 

The pilot is giving some information about thailand.

 

"30% of the population have aids, 20% have other sexually transmitted diseases and 50% suffer from chronic bronchitis."

 

One passenger wakes up half way through and says to the guy next to him, "what did he say?"

 

He said, "if they cough, you can fuck em!"

[Al.]

A policeman was called to the high street to attend to an 80 year old man crying in the road.

 

"What is the problem my friend?" he says.

 

"I am 80 years old and I have a thai girlfreind, she brings me breakfast in bed every day then she shags me half to death. I sleep till one o'clock then she brings me lunch when I finish she shags the arse off me. I sleep until seven o'clock then she wakes me with my dinner. I eat then she gives me another good seeing to."

 

"Fuck me!" said the copper, "what the fuck are you crying for?"

 

"I've forgotten where I live!"

[Al.]

A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a toothpick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp leaves.

 

A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpick and off he goes.

 

There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too."

 

"No, a straw," says the Tramp.

 

The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick.

 

To which the Tramp replies, "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff's gone already".

[caltexman]

Hey AI i like the 80 year old guy one....................i would be crying as well.

 

If i live to be that old and be that lucky i'm getting a dog tag saying where i live .............lol.

[Al.]

As an Aussie maybe you will like this one.

 

The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After 1 year and at a cost of $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

 

After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After a cost of $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

 

Australians, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of $75.46 and 2 cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead.

[caltexman]

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Love it mate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Too fucking true!!!