Thai values compared to western...

[Barhop]

Have just downloaded the boarding passes for my return trip on Saturday but have experienced a situation today that forces me to address the difference between Thai and Western...

Staying upstairs on Chaiyapoon, so overlook many "massage" places.  Tonight, while having a quiet few beers, very near end of trip, downstairs in my guesthouse, milf who had been to room more than once, on more than one trip, wandered over with rugrat.  Of course I see said toddler every day so I asked if it was hers. Reply was she has looked after him for  2 years/5 months, and I guess he's not 3 yet.  Former employee flew and of course there is never to be found father.

What happens in a similar situation in the West?  But it was clear that she was a bit pissed off.  Silly me mentioned that he probably thinks of her as his mother...

[Irenicus]

Can't help thinking that she wasn't telling the truth and that it was probably her kid 

[Wolf Cat]

In the US there's something called foster children and foster parents, .a person who acts as parent and guardian for a child in place of the child's natural parents but without legally adopting the child

[Barhop]

7 hours ago, Irenicus said:

Can't help thinking that she wasn't telling the truth and that it was probably her kid 

I thought this for a while but there were other indicators that toddler was an "add on".  Remember I watched this situation daily as I lived almost opposite.  Another masseuse there on one occasion,  with used diaper in hand, made the gesture to shove it in toddlers mouth .  Of course she did not and then threw it in the bin.  But the gesture was real.

[Safado12]

Interesting topic. I have seen variations on this scenario quite a few times in LOS, and wondered how things work. The frequency of the problem is probably about the same in both LOS and western countries. Western countries have plenty of parents who are unable or unwilling to care for their children. And, the causes are pretty much the same: poverty, jail, alcohol and drugs, mental health problems, and plain old lousy parents.

 

It seems to me that the big difference is not so much cultural as it is is in the level of government involvement in handling the problem. In western countries (specifically the U.S.), the government takes an active role in (at least trying) to ensure the welfare of children. Kids are not just left to the kindness of strangers. Not only does government provide care for abandoned or neglected kids through foster care, group homes, orphanages, and adoptions. Government also proactively reaches out in situations of abused or neglected children to assess their situations, and, in bad cases, take kids away from parents. There is an entire system of  laws, courts, social workers, psychologists, lawyers and judges involved in this. The government pays for all this.  The system is imperfect. And with hundreds of thousands of cases, mistakes happen. But, it undoubtedly does help a whole lot of kids. The Thai practice of just handing kids off to strangers willy-nilly is not supposed to happen.

 

What I wonder is whether the Thai government takes any similar responsibility and role. If anybody knows, I'd be interested in hearing about it. As to Thai culture, I actually admire those Thai people who take on the burden of caring for an abandoned or neglected child, sometimes without any financial support.

[manni2011]

I don’t see this as a difference between Thai and western values. It seems more a difference between a shitty parent and non-shitty parent values or possibly the difference between a desperate girl with no options and someone with a bigger support network.  I think it’s fair to say you’ll see all of those scenarios anywhere in the world.  

There are a number of orphanages in the Pattaya area she could take the child to. Seems the child is lucky to have the massage girl care for him though, even if it’s somewhat reluctantly.    I probably wouldn’t do the same. Is that an indication of terrible western values ? 

[Barhop]

4 hours ago, manni2011 said:

I don’t see this as a difference between Thai and western values. It seems more a difference between a shitty parent and non-shitty parent values or possibly the difference between a desperate girl with no options and someone with a bigger support network.  I think it’s fair to say you’ll see all of those scenarios anywhere in the world.  

There are a number of orphanages in the Pattaya area she could take the child to. Seems the child is lucky to have the massage girl care for him though, even if it’s somewhat reluctantly.    I probably wouldn’t do the same. Is that an indication of terrible western values ? 

I know I wouldn't do the same but I guess we understand that in both our countries the social security system (however flawed) will kick in, so that does not really test our personal western values.  Wonder at what stage the Thai government would kick in, if at all?  That question underscores the thread hugely imo.

Did see the child daily so I could not shake my concern (if that's the correct word?).