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Your Local Chinky


Chris Pattaya
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A place has been open for a while on Soi Chayaphum (sp) next to Neeroy's, opposite Crazy Dave's, which advertises itself as selling UK-style chinese food.

It is, without a doubt, the worst food it has ever been my misfortune to order. Bland, mean-portioned and badly prepared, I attempted to eat it at the table of my local Thai bar/restaurant as I had become jaded with their menu. After watching me hurl it away in disgust the Thai owner of my local quietly sidled up to me to award a well-deserved 'som nom na.'

Avoid it.

I would rather eat my arse.

*WARNING. The above statement was prepared in a factory that uses irony. It may contain irony. It cannot be guaranteed as irony free. Readers with an adverse reaction to irony or irony based products should consume a pinch of salt before reading. Readers who have are known irony-deficient should seek professional help before continuing*

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'I'd like to congratulate Chris Pattaya on being the smuggest cnut ever shat into God's creation', Unknown Mango Sauce contributer.

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A place has been open for a while on Soi Chayaphum (sp) next to Neeroy's, opposite Crazy Dave's, which advertises itself as selling UK-style chinese food.

It is, without a doubt, the worst food it has ever been my misfortune to order. Bland, mean-portioned and badly prepared, I attempted to eat it at the table of my local Thai bar/restaurant as I had become jaded with their menu. After watching me hurl it away in disgust the Thai owner of my local quietly sidled up to me to award a well-deserved 'som nom na.'

Avoid it.

I would rather eat my arse.

 

Have to agree.

 

I have tried the food there twice, and there definately won't be a third time. :Raspberry6:

 

Spidey.

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I am staying above there at the moment, its funny because i was trying to get the owner to come on the forum. I have never tried it myself, but with this negative publicity!! We have to now!!

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the name should have told you it was shit " western style chinese food " wtf is that ?

 

would you order mexican style fish and chips ?

 

:001_Sawasdee:

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the name should have told you it was shit " western style chinese food " wtf is that ?

 

would you order mexican style fish and chips ?

 

:D

 

dudebrah , i know what your saying , and i agree with the opening poster that this restaurant is piss poor but in the uk , chinese food is far superior to the chinese food on offer in asia even in china in my opinion.

 

they have adapted the menu in the uk to suit us and this guys attempt to brand his stuff as uk style is just wrong as it doesnt even come close.

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There is a nice Chinese restaurant on 2nd road opposite Soi 8. It is not cheap but the food is very nice.

"Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light" Spike Milligan

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There is a nice Chinese restaurant on 2nd road opposite Soi 8. It is not cheap but the food is very nice.

 

Cantonese ?

 

It is was nearly impossible to find real Chinese for anywhere in the US, but the influx of new Chinese is making it easier.

 

Chinese grub is always changed to suit the local tastes and ingredients, but the real deal is always best.

 

This is what it looks like in AnHui Province. Notice how most items are drowned in oil. That shit tastes goooooood....

 

25786-10486.jpg

 

25786-10487.jpg

San Francisco Cocksucka !!!

 

"Hey, you ever hear, Tom, the Chinese whore has a ancient way of milking ya of yer sorrow, your loneliness and that awful feeling of bein’ forsaken?"

 

"Seems to me that’d leave you with nothing."

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Cantonese ?

 

I guess it is they have pictures of Hong Kong all over the place. I would go along with you saying that the food in China is much better than the stuff served in other countries by a long way. I love Szechuan food as I spent a lot of time there, very spicy.

Edited by Cennn3

"Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light" Spike Milligan

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Excellent Chinese Restaurant upstairs in the Royal Garden.

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Excellent Chinese Restaurant upstairs in the Royal Garden.

 

If you mean the "Rice Mill" i was told recently that it's moved down to the basement of the Royal garden hotel.

 

 

I do like the "Marco Polo" at the Montien

 

 

ChrisD

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  • 3 months later...

Is BeniHanas at the Royal Gerden plaza any good? I know they are pricey and its supposed to be Japanese but their chain is pretty good.

" Duct tape turns, "No...No...No..." into "Mmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm" - Anon

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A place has been open for a while on Soi Chayaphum (sp) next to Neeroy's, opposite Crazy Dave's, which advertises itself as selling UK-style chinese food.

It is, without a doubt, the worst food it has ever been my misfortune to order. Bland, mean-portioned and badly prepared, I attempted to eat it at the table of my local Thai bar/restaurant as I had become jaded with their menu. After watching me hurl it away in disgust the Thai owner of my local quietly sidled up to me to award a well-deserved 'som nom na.'

Avoid it.

I would rather eat my arse.

 

The guy that runs the place is British. He told me he stole the recipe from an American that ran a Chinese restaurant and concoted Chinese food made from a Brit that had stolen the recipe from an American. I didn't eat there either and the times I walked by, it was always empty. I find the restaurant name Chinky, somewhat deragatory.

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  • 1 month later...

Your local chinky

I had a take-away. Spare ribs the size of dinosaurs dry and stringy.

Chow mein. Bland & sorta gooy.

Sweet & sour. Undercooked.

The rice was as dry a witches cnut.

The food is fukin crap.

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I guess it is they have pictures of Hong Kong all over the place. I would go along with you saying that the food in China is much better than the stuff served in other countries by a long way. I love Szechuan food as I spent a lot of time there, very spicy.

 

Cenn and I have agreed on this before on another forum...I worked accross China for 2 years from Shenyang in the North to Zuhai in the South. Every province is different, every city and town has it's own speciality and without doubt the food is absolutely fantastic and nothing like you get in the UK. Even if you are out in the boonies with no electricity...

 

If asked about the main culinary differences between North and South I would have to Say the size of the Mao Tai glasses..In the North they are tumblers and shot glasses in the South...typical bloody southern poofs!!!!

 

Anyway in all that time I craved a weak and watery Chop Suey served in a tin foil container from the local chinky and a pint of Tanglefoot!!

Edited by Jeremia
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  • 1 year later...

Took my TGF to Hong Kong last year and she hated the food, had to find expensive Thai resturants every night and she was not too happy with those either. She is always far happier with Issan food from the side of the road costing 25 baht.

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UK-style chinese food.

It is, without a doubt, the worst food it has ever been my misfortune to order. Bland, badly prepared

I would rather eat my arse.

Yep, genuine UK style Cinese food then. Utter shite.

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"Chinky" is UK slang for Chinese?

 

yep same like jap for japanese, although the pc brigade are on the case, so its not really acceptable to use 'chink' or 'chinky' anymore...

 

Im off to say 50 heil marys for the crimes my forefathers have comitted against the whole world, evil bastards. I deserve to die now.

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"Chinky" has become very outdated amongst most UK folk. Some are still struggling to move with the times.

Edited by luvyoulongtime
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lol.

Usefull report.

 

A lot of food in pattaya is poor compared to what we get in the UK.

With falang owners you can get decent english food, but stuff like chinese and indian is hopeless over here.

 

We dont' rehalise it, but the UK is actually a great place to eat a whole variety of food.

We have a relativly modest amount of fast food chains and a lot of local resturants runs by people from all around the world who know their stuff and are selling to a public that know a good curry from a bad one.

 

Ok, my rant over.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Have to agree.

 

I have tried the food there twice, and there definately won't be a third time. :GoldenSmile1:

 

Spidey.

 

Try the big place on 2nd road about a block from the RGPlaza... :P

Wine improves with age. The older I get the better I like it.

You only as old as the girl you feel.

In Pattaya, your her customer not her boyfriend.

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Try the big place on 2nd road about a block from the RGPlaza... :GoldenSmile1:

If you mean the Nam Sing restaurant that is also poor and way overpriced in my opinion. My mate ordered peking style duck, it came with no cucumber, spring onions or pancakes and no hoisin sauce the duck was excessively fatty so he asked them to bag it so he can feed it to a dog (one lucky bulldog on soi LK Metro lapped it up in minutes). Best duck ive had came with redwine sauce and rice at the blue restaurant on pattaya tai just round corner from Walking Street, cheap as chips and great food, but not really chinese. Definately worth trying out.

 

http://www.pattayaphotoguide.com/?gduRUWnokcDB

 

This place is also good too. on 3rd road end of soi chaiyapoom

 

http://www.pattayaphotoguide.com/?YpuRUycskcaFHDeA

Edited by Tang

"To monger, or not to monger, that is the question"

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  • 1 month later...

buy the way its local chinese not chinky thats a insult if u want proper food go to china or hongkong . with that kind of attutude im not surprise u think the food is not nice the chef proberly cooked it bad for u and put trebele portions of msg in it

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the name should have told you it was shit " western style chinese food " wtf is that ?

 

would you order mexican style fish and chips ?

 

:GoldenSmile1:

 

 

I know a place in Minnesota USA where you can get a mean walleye taco.

 

If you don't know what a walleye is don't worry about it.

If you're not a cynic, you're not paying attention.

If I really am a pessimist, you'd think I'd be plesantly surpised by the outcome of thing more often than I am.

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