[REVIEW] Copa Pattaya (Soi 3, Boyzland)

[TTBangkok]

My first ever Pattaya hotel stay!

Copa is a good value, even for straight guys. I feel safer staying in gay neighborhoods because the locals tend to be a closer knit community that looks out for one another. And gay thieves aside, homophobes are more likely to steer clear of the area.

THE GOOD:

1. Off season rate was 745 THB ($22 USD). Budget price for a much-better-than-budget accommodation.

2. Rooms are big by Pattaya standards (about 350 sqft). I've been in hotels that claim to be 400+ sqft who were obviously lying, but Copa is on the mark.

3. Well furnished, with a comfy faux leather couch, glass coffee table (which is shite for an optical mouse), and small dining table with two chairs. Nightstands to either side of the king size bed.

4. Amazingly *quiet* in my 2nd floor room even with the cabarets in full swing, thanks to cement walls and really thick drapes over the windows. This is a huge plus, if you're a digital nomad and need to work U.S. hours in between orgies.

5. Free 2 bottles of water a day, hot water carafe, instant coffee (Nescafe). Stocked fridge, in good working order, with the usual selection of overpriced Coke, Fanta, Singha...but in a pinch, it's reasonable for hotel pricing.

6. Room service until at least 10pm, and is served by a restaurant across the street. Surprisingly good food, though of course a little pricey for Pattaya. Food is served with little flourishes, like a carved tomato rose, garnishings, and other crap I stick in my bum and forget about.

7. South Street is just one street over, and it's a 5 min walk to Walking Street. 10 min walk to Soi Buakhao.

THE BAD:

1. Standard steep, tiny, twisty staircase but - lucky for fatty farangs like me - they have a decent, if small, lift. No aircon in hallways, but seriously - why would you be hanging out in the hallways anyway?

THE UGLY:

1. Free WiFi speed is about 1.5Mbps down, 0.5Mbps up. (You'll need at least 3Mbps up/down to do standard remote office work reliably. 5Mbps up/down preferably, to have that buffer in case of peak use slowdowns.)

2. Mattress is completely shot! Too many fatty farangs like me mashing their little khing boyfriends into so much nhaem moo. Seriously, worst sleep of my life. Should've just slept on the couch.

3. The phone was unusable - could barely hear the receptionist on the other end, and they could barely hear me. Had to walk down to the lobby every time I ordered room service - which defeats the purpose.

VERDICT: STAY (But ask for a better mattress.)

If you don't care about WiFi speeds, then Copa is a great value in a great location. And (IMHO) a very safe place to stay - look at all my khatoey bodyguards!