LK Mansion Soi Bukow

[bdb]

I checked into what must be the most expensive hotel in Pattaya 15,500 bht for exactly 10mins, what a dump its my own stupid fault, as I saw a special deal on Agoda that stated that it was a 60% discount at only 800bht a night ,a bargain I thought seeing the picture on both LK'S own website and also the Agoda site, Her comes the STUPID me part I contacted a lady friend of mine who lives in soi Bukow to ask her to go too the hotel check the room for me before I paid,

 

Now I joke you not when I tell you that I had told her by SMS  and Skype followed by a call giving her the  exact address of  LK Mansion and  NOT to go to LK Royal suites t ,

 

She replied you think I stupid lady I know where to go (Bells should have rung!!!) .

 

1 hour later she comes back with glowing reports and that it was nearly as good as the LK legend which I had lived in previously for two years , Well  Muppet here not having learnt a single lesson it seems in all my 20 years of both living and holidaying in Thailand  thought what a result paid my money congratulating myself on getting a result !!

 Until that is my arrival this morning to what can only be classed as a pokey dirty tenement that really shouldn't be in the LK portfolio,

The common areas look like a Victorian prison the lift on the way up to my room  on the 4th floor wreaked of vomit with traces still damp on the walls and floor, the corridor to the room was really dark and no light seem to work and when I opened the door the smell of mildew was overpowering, due to the fact which was immediately obvious that a  fungus had made room 4113 its home and was  growing in the corner  by the window which was of such a size to have warranted a call to the Guinness book of records and at the very least wouldn't have looked out of place in Kew Gardens in fact had it been at Kew I am sure it would be an award winning variety both in size and its luminous yellow colour ,,at one point I could swear I saw it move.

The bed linen had visible holes in the top sheet  the 3 towels placed on the bed were battleship grey and could have doubled up as sandpaper , the A/C was non existent after 3 min I was sweating like Stuart Hall in Mothecare, 

Mind you that may have also  been due to the increasing fear I had for the Jurassic like fungus that seemed was growing by the minute. 

And to cap It all the balcony that was advertised as a place to relax was so close to the opposite balcony , had arrangements been made for a threesome with my neighbour I could have joined in without leaving my room ,

At this point I was looking for cameras and some presenter to appear and to tell me I had be framed or something but no I got some young lad asking me to go to reception as it seemed the guy at check in had forgotten to ask for a 1000bht deposit,

 

Which amazed me as a quick look around the hovel and for the life of me had I used a grenade I couldn't see how I could inflict   a 1000 bhat worth of damage in that room. 

 

So off we went to reception after a fruitless two minuets trying to lock the door to no avail , I was not concerned as I felt any intruder in my absence would be  savaged by the fungus my belonging were safe

The poor lad who came to the room to  get me must have thought I suffered from Tourette's as I spent the 3 minuets  waiting for the Edison lift to finally creep to the fourth floor, chanting Wanker I am a Twat Bollox Fuk Cunt and Shit , knowing that I had just done 15,000 bhat in cold blood ,and the chance of me getting a refund was as likely  as me finding a bar girl who had actually only worked in the the bar for two weeks 

Followed by me gipping and retching  at the smell of the previously mentioned vomit which had had a further 10 minuets to ferment in the oven like lift. .

Arriving at the bunker styled reception I was not angry I just started laughing to myself and announced that due to the fact I am a TWAT I shall be checking out , the woman gave me a knowing smile I wasn't the first obviously  and said ok they will send someone to the room to check it, 

 As I had only checked in15min prior  I was a bit surprised but didn't make comment other than that I  would send armed security with the maid in case the fungus got aggressive which fell on deaf ears, I asked for the maid to bring my case down relived that I didn't have to face the lift and the Extra-terrestrial that had made room 4113 its homer

  5 min later  my case was delivered to the reception along with a bill  for 30 bhat for a Lipitovan I had apparently consumed, I didn't contest it I paid the 30 bhat and hoped that the fungus had enjoyed it and went on my way.

 

Went to Soi Honey checked into HONEY INN great girls on reception very nice big room and it seems fungus free

 

Now some of you maybe feel I have exaggerated a tad in my tale, I dare you to go see room 4133 for yourself take a friend  or at least tell someone where your going

, But don't leave it to long as there is every chance that it will be purchased by Ripley's Belive  IT OR NOT!!!

 

I LOVE THAILAND ..

 

 

 

[nearlythere]

so what did you think of the hotel? good/bad/indifferent 

[LOTTELLEE WINNA]

To the OP: Sorry to hear of your troubles and thanks for sharing.

 

I would be really interested to know your occupation - are you a novelist or a journalist maybe. I ask, as your piece is brilliantly written and very, very funny in part. I also liked the way that you were self-deprocating, the ability to blame nobody but your-self is rare - usually people cry "victim".

 

Was there no "better" room available -  or transfer to a sister hotel (albeit at axtra cost)?

 

I don't know this hotel and will certainly avoid...stayed at LK Ren and it was nice.

 

Thanks again for sharing a very well written piece.

[Evilfriar]

OMFG, long time since I've laughed this hard.

Bumping this so more ppl can enjoy.

Cheers

[LOTTELLEE WINNA]

Agree - Bump....read this - brilliantly written and very funny!

[irish 1]

Sorry, had to laugh. Hope it all worked out in the end....

[bazkashmir]

Sorry to hear about your experience but as you said you only blame yourself for asking your tgf to go and have a look big mistake,you should have read the reviews on the Agoda website for this hotel,the reviews are from people who have stayed and experinced good or bad at this hotel.I have never had to cancell or contact Agoda to complain about booking or bad experince at any hotel yet,maybe you should contact them if you booked hotel with Agoda and maybe you can get your money back, if you did book with Agoda don,t forget to write a review on their site about your experince at this hotel.Wishing you all the best and good luck for the rest of your holiday.

[jumpybongo]

i wondered why this seemed so cheap compared to other LK properties.

 

did you ever follow-up or email them for a refund?

[siamsmile33]

Sorry mate...nicely written though ;)