And now a word about Thai men.

Obviously most of us who come to Pattaya on holiday don't deal with Thai men, at least not to any great extent. Motorbike taxi drivers, gogo and club doormen, hawkers - that's about it.

Having lived and worked here for several years now, I have delt with Thai men much more extensively. Co-workers, neighbors, business owners, students, even a couple of cops - I've gotten to know quite a few. Some are great, some are jerks, but most of them have one thing in common: They are very touchy-feely with other men.

I'm American, grew up in the Midwest in the 70's, and boys wrestled and hit each other. Mock violence was common. That was okay. Touching was not. Putting your arm around another boy was gay.

I'm all grown up now, and very supportive of gay rights. I might joke around with a good friend and get touchy-feely, what my Dad used to call "playing grab ass", but only with a guy I knew really well and for a long time. Obviously in grief you put an arm on a friend's shoulders, give them a hug, but very rarely. The way I was raised, guys didn't do that. You respected a man's space.

I realize part of this is an American problem with male intimacy. Men are supposed to be "strong and silent". Men don't cry. When I told my retired military friend about taking motobike taxis, he said with disgust, "Men don't ride bitch."

Thai male/male familiarity would make him lock and barricade his doors.

Early in my teaching career I saw two boys, probably 16-17 years old, sitting on a motorbike. The one in front was leaning back against the other. The one behind was picking at the others hair. I discreetly pointed this out to a Thai teacher and asked, "Gay?". She said no, normal behavior for Thai boys. In the US boys would never do that. I see it all the time amongst my male students.

Grown Thai men, too. They are always grabbing each other, and me as well. Everywhere I go Thai men I don't know feel compelled to touch me, usually on the arm or shoulder. I was in a grocery store, and an older Thai guy is asking me if I have a wife. When I say no he grabs me firmly by the elbow and gets real close and asks if I like the girls who are stocking the shelves. And it wasn't like he had to get close to whisper, he said it loud, but for some reason he felt the need to grab me. Dude, you're envading my space! Talk to me from over there!

One Thai teacher at my new school was always grabbing my arm when he talked to me, even reached down and grabbed my ass once. I always smiled and tried to slowly break free without being too reactionary, but with this particular guy I finally just had to jerk my arm away and say, "Mai chop!" (I don't like that!). He kept his distance after that.

Anybody else had similiar experiences with Thai men, or other nationalities?

If I could only get Thai women to get more touchy-feely with me . . .