Hilton Hotel Review

[stuckiniraq]

It didn't suck...

 

I could leave it at that but I guess I could do a better job so here goes:

 

Disadvantages: Construction noise...workers breaking out tile in the room above me for the first two days at 9AM. I started a shit storm with management on the first day and basically demanded to see the King of Hilton on the second. The hotel made no effort to compensate me for the two days that I had 4 hours of sleep but did find it in their harts to stop the breaking of tile. It was quite comical on the first day listening to the tile being hammered and then someone trying to "hammer tile" lightly. Very upsetting as that is really not possible.

 

Disadvantages: 5 minute ride to get to the hotel. I can afford the 200 baht but hate when the girl has time to think. As the man said, "...her dizzy head is conscious laden." I only wish they had built the Hilton on Walking Street. What a hotel that would be!

 

Disadvantages: Having to change elevators. Really? Really? You rich fuck....that is what you have to complain about...did I write that out loud?

 

Disadvantages: The dang bathroom light on an automatic sensor that would not turn on sometimes no matter what type of arm waving I did.

 

Dissadvantages: No HBO! No HBO? What? What? What? boooooooooo!

 

Advantages: Rented the room with the tub on the balcony for 180 a night for 10 days. They put rose petals in it the first night and filled it with water. But for some reason, they didn't do it the rest of the week. Dangit! Thank god for the towels in the shape of animals on the bed or I would have had to cut my daily tip to the room cleaners to less than 500 each.

 

Advantages: Back waxing available on the 4th floor of the mall below the hotel. Sweet! Plus, if you date a girl for more than one day you can send her for a Brazilian so you don’t brush burn your upper lip.

 

Advantages: Full Black Out curtains. Dark when you sleep helps you sleep.

 

Advantages: No one ever even so much as looked at me as I took my girl to the room. NO HASSLES AT ALL!

 

Advantages: The doors lock immediately upon closing. There was no struggle to keep the door closed when I pushed the screaming girl from Alcatraz out of my room. (She said, you too big, I just do smoke. No? You pay me! You pay me!) Needless to say, I did not give her a baht. She screamed a bit then just silence.

 

Advantages: Huge lay down lounge 30 floors above the city. Get a bottle of red and take your girl to one of the chairs that faces the city and bump in front of the gods.

 

Advantages: Incredible view: every morning I would watch the parasailers dance from a top down view. What a circus.

 

Advantages: The girl from the bumping at the lounge accidentally set over a half bottle of red on some white marble that surrounded the bed during a second bopping of the evening. I didn’t notice till mid-day next when the cleaning crew came in. The red paste permanently dyed the white marble. They cleaning crew said nothing and the management didn’t charge me at check out. Awesome!

 

Advantages: Great safe in the closet. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize how high up the hinge was and busted the front cover of my Iphone-4. Picked up a white front and back in the mall on the third floor and drank whiskey for a few hours while replacing the phone front and back. I now have the only White Iphone-4 among my peers so top-notch!

 

Advantages: Money machines in the mall an elevator ride away. The movie screen there was great.

 

Advantages: Where am I staying? The Hilton of course…harrumph, harrumph...stare down my nose at the girl unapprovingly.

 

Advantages: Killer bed…soft sheets awesome.

 

Advantages: Limo driver speaks English well enough to hold a conversation. 2000 baht one way for a “limo”. Why is any car that is not a taxi or a van a limo?

 

So, great hotel. I didn’t even use the pool. It’ looks killer but I was busy F’ing or sleeping during the day.

 

Visit my website please:

 

www.anamericaninibiza.com

 

S.

[Texas Skibum]

Advantages: The doors lock immediately upon closing. There was no struggle to keep the door closed when I pushed the screaming girl from Alcatraz out of my room. (She said, you too big, I just do smoke. No? You pay me! You pay me!) Needless to say, I did not give her a baht. She screamed a bit then just silence.

 

My favorite part. Finally a BM that has the balls to just boot them out of the room without paying when they try to play games. You made my night reading this considering how many posts I see where the people pay them to leave so they don't have to deal with the fuss.