Do thai girls want us to speak thai ?

[martin81]

I speak fluent thai and most of the time I think it is an advantage especially with farm fresh women.

 

I have met a few very experienced bar girls where it were a disadvantage as they probably only liked newbies that pay too much.

 

They usually have a hard time believing that I am not an expat but a tourist so that can be a problem.

[extracta]

Do most of the BG speak Thai fluently though? Because the general theme of this thread seems to be that the scammers are going to be pissed you know Thai and the non-scammers will be happy you're speaking it. Well, if I speak Thai (which I don't) and a BG starts speaking to her friends in Isan, not Thai, then I still know she's saying something she doesn't want me to hear, even if I don't know the specifics. If she is speaking to her friends in Isan or Thai and I only speak English, then there's no reason to assume anything.

 

If all the people working the bar are from the same place they will generally tend to have all of their conversations in their local lingo. If you start speaking Thai to them they will talk back in Thai, but as soon as they talk to their freinds it is back to the local lingo.

[Case]

Lately I have been finding that tons of girls and bar staff want to talk in Thai, especially after you've met them more than a couple of times. They get frustrated that my Thai sucks and that we can't communicate properly. Maybe it is a Bangkok thing.

 

At the moment I am highly motivated to learn more Thai because there is an amazing young hottie at Las Vegas who I have been BFing. She's fucking hot but doesn't speak more than two words of English. It would be really cool if I could talk to her better and I think having good Thai would really get you a better experience.

[squared]

I think its the same wherever you go in the world. Same as when migrants came to Australia and lived here for years yet never learned english. Australians looked down on them as ignorant. I think thais would be the same for anyone who chooses to live in a country and not learnt to speak the language would be perceived as either incredibly arrogant or stupid and ignorant. They would be right to.

 

I don't think so. Immigrants come to Australia to work and make a living, understanding the language and respecting the customs of Australia is essential to become Australian. There are a couple of foreigners running a business or having some kind of job here too, but most of them cater to other foreigners, Thai-language understanding is not in the job description. And for all the other expats and retirees, they bring money in, giving Thais jobs or a comfortable living as girlfriend or wife, her family benefits also. Again, speaking Thai is not required. Unlike immigrants to Australia, the expats here would certainly not exchange their passports for the Thai one, even though that's possible. The Thais would be well advised to learn foreign languages better, the mostly incoherent blather they produce in English is quite painful.

[theanomaly]

I always try and learn a little Thai language everytime I visit, and always have a good laugh and enjoy doing so if you have a decent girl to teach you. This time round I had trouble pronouncing massaman nua (beef curry) but enjoyed trying to get it right.

[Tao 66]

I'll admit to being a little bit paranoid, even though I have been assured by a monger who speaks fluent Thai that 90% of the time they just yak yak girlie talk about make up and soaps on Thai TV etc. They are professionals in their job and some of them obviously are concerned about a farang understanding them.

My opinion is it is best to learn it well but not to speak it in Pattaya and let them think you are clueless. You might be able to pick up on things you don't like or if your potential bar fine does not want to really go with you etc or whatever.

i find it hard to learn here in UK with no one to talk to

My TG does not like me speaking Thai in front of her family, though to her it's ok

Wonder why that is?

[extracta]

My TG does not like me speaking Thai in front of her family, though to her it's ok

Wonder why that is?

 

What language does she speak at home with her family and friends?

[somjit]

My TG does not like me speaking Thai in front of her family, though to her it's ok

Wonder why that is?

 

She can change the level of her Thai (slang, polite, very polite etc.) with ease. But you possibly can't.

[takode]

For me it seems that some BG's are impressed that you know a bit of thai and some don't like it at all. One thing does seem to be consistent and that is they will still talk about you to their friends!

[mavriq]

The short answer is NO! They don't want us to speak Thai for three reasons:

 

1. Speaking Thai means you have "been around" or been a butterfly (going from girl to girl). They don't want their chosen one to have slept with other Thai girls.

 

2. If you don't know Thai it means that you are not wise to the ways (and demands) of Thai girls so you are an easy target.

 

3. Unless you are a native they will not understand you anyway.... and if you use the wrong tone it means something totally different and they lose face as people think that she taught you to speak abominably!

 

I said Sa wat dee carp Mah to my TG's Mother which means "Hello you dog!" I should have said Mair (Mother) not Mah which means dog!

 

Not a good way to meet the future Mother-in-law!

Edited June 12, 2012 by mavriq

[LRanger]

I reckon it helps to know some of any language of countries you are visiting for holidays or business, you get more respect, generate much humour in your mangling of the words and it might just help in some instances. I find the girls like it. They would get a bit suspicious if you spout some Isaan but hey whatever.

[firechild73]

lol thank God I didnt start learning Thai ! seems its more a disadvantage,. makes you look more like a seasoned pro instead of a nice guy !

[DonTheJeweler]

Just back from another week in Pattaya and thought I'd add my latest experiences...

 

Booked Mr T's taxi from the airport and had a great chat, in Thai, with the taxi driver. He even had a dictionary, he was reading words from, while driving down to Pattaya (kinda scary) and was really keen to give me some new vocabulary. Also, he was asking me in Thai how to say things in English. Mostly, he asked how to say: cock, tits, pussy etc. was hilarious! Great experience with someone enthusiastic about farang speaking Thai.

 

Been to Pattaya quite a few times and know quite a few people now, many of whom know I can speak a fair amount of Thai. Went to one of the Simon beer complex bars, where I had been before, and talked to a girl in English. Her English wasn't great, but didn't switch to Thai yet as I was trying to vet her first. Then a girl I know from before came over and spoke to me in Thai. I replied back in Thai and the original girl was really happy I could speak Thai. From that point onwards she spoke to me only in Thai - her decision to do so and she was happy she could have a conversation outside of the "what you name, where you from" etc.

 

Many other places I visited I talked to people in Thai and also found everyone happy to speak in Thai. Especially so when the girl's English was limited.

 

Only one negative experience, but not sure if it was for my own protection. Met two girls in Marine and ended up arranging a 3 some with them. Didn't tell them I could speak Thai, but it didn't take too long for some Thai to slip out of me. Played it down a little that I only knew the basics. As the night progressed, I spoke more and more Thai and they were quite impressed and said my Thai was very clear. Anyway, we decided to go for a nightcap to JP Bar and the two girls started playing pool. The waitress came to take our order and I ordered my drink in Thai and asked them what they wanted in Thai. After the waitress left, one of the girls said to me it would be better if I stopped speaking Thai. It actually pissed me off a little, but decided it wasn't enough to put me off a 3 some with two smoking hot girls. Still don't know why she asked for me to stop speaking Thai. Was it for my own protection in JP Bar? Did she not want it to look like I maybe lived there with a wife already? Does my Thai suck?

 

Anyone else experience anything like that? Has happened to me a couple of times now, speaking away in Thai, understanding and being understood, but then asked to stop in a public place (JP Bar and other time a restaurant). Would be good if anyone had any thoughts on this.

[somjit]

Just back from another week in Pattaya and thought I'd add my latest experiences...

 

Booked Mr T's taxi from the airport and had a great chat, in Thai, with the taxi driver. He even had a dictionary, he was reading words from, while driving down to Pattaya (kinda scary) and was really keen to give me some new vocabulary. Also, he was asking me in Thai how to say things in English. Mostly, he asked how to say: cock, tits, pussy etc. was hilarious! Great experience with someone enthusiastic about farang speaking Thai.

 

Been to Pattaya quite a few times and know quite a few people now, many of whom know I can speak a fair amount of Thai. Went to one of the Simon beer complex bars, where I had been before, and talked to a girl in English. Her English wasn't great, but didn't switch to Thai yet as I was trying to vet her first. Then a girl I know from before came over and spoke to me in Thai. I replied back in Thai and the original girl was really happy I could speak Thai. From that point onwards she spoke to me only in Thai - her decision to do so and she was happy she could have a conversation outside of the "what you name, where you from" etc.

 

Many other places I visited I talked to people in Thai and also found everyone happy to speak in Thai. Especially so when the girl's English was limited.

 

Only one negative experience, but not sure if it was for my own protection. Met two girls in Marine and ended up arranging a 3 some with them. Didn't tell them I could speak Thai, but it didn't take too long for some Thai to slip out of me. Played it down a little that I only knew the basics. As the night progressed, I spoke more and more Thai and they were quite impressed and said my Thai was very clear. Anyway, we decided to go for a nightcap to JP Bar and the two girls started playing pool. The waitress came to take our order and I ordered my drink in Thai and asked them what they wanted in Thai. After the waitress left, one of the girls said to me it would be better if I stopped speaking Thai. It actually pissed me off a little, but decided it wasn't enough to put me off a 3 some with two smoking hot girls. Still don't know why she asked for me to stop speaking Thai. Was it for my own protection in JP Bar? Did she not want it to look like I maybe lived there with a wife already? Does my Thai suck?

 

Anyone else experience anything like that? Has happened to me a couple of times now, speaking away in Thai, understanding and being understood, but then asked to stop in a public place (JP Bar and other time a restaurant). Would be good if anyone had any thoughts on this.

 

May I ask where and how you learnt Thai?

[petalostompeti]

In my opinion, it's fun to talk the language of Thais! It kind of makes you look friendlier to them!

[DonTheJeweler]

 

 

May I ask where and how you learnt Thai?

 

Through books, Internet, Thai school in Bangkok, Thai teacher at home. Have some Thai friends in Bangkok, who work in good jobs, I also talk with and they help me learn Thai. Always speak politely, Thai friends wont teach me bad language and can't speak much bar girl slang/talk.

 

I know you may have thought I was taught by a bar girl, but that is definitely not the case. Also, I only know central Thai, only a few words of Isaan dialect, which I very rarely ever use.

[somjit]

Through books, Internet, Thai school in Bangkok, Thai teacher at home. Have some Thai friends in Bangkok, who work in good jobs, I also talk with and they help me learn Thai. Always speak politely, Thai friends wont teach me bad language and can't speak much bar girl slang/talk.

 

I know you may have thought I was taught by a bar girl, but that is definitely not the case. Also, I only know central Thai, only a few words of Isaan dialect, which I very rarely ever use.

 

Your Thai is more than ok then.

[El Cata]

I said Sa wat dee carp Mah to my TG's Mother which means "Hello you dog!" I should have said Mair (Mother) not Mah which means dog!

 

Not a good way to meet the future Mother-in-law!

 

Did she laugh it off? I suppose it's the same as saying 'I like your whore' instead of 'I like your hair' to a potential English mother-in-law; actually that's much worse.

[sanj]

Best not to let on if you know how to speak thai. Girls will usually have a giggle with their friends at your expense but play stupid. Let them know in the morning that you know the lingo...

 

I'm going to learn thai for my next trip but won't be letting on.

 

We were in a bar and one of the girls kept looking at me (i look a little oriental) and she finally asked if i could speak thai... I replied i couldn't then they proceeded to speak thai... No doubt things about us but we still bar fined them....

[twistedmike]

. Unlike immigrants to Australia, the expats here would certainly not exchange their passports for the Thai one, even though that's possible.

 

As a brief sidetrack, where do you get the idea a foreigner can get a Thai passport?

 

In reply to some others who post their feelings as absolute truths, I'd remind you that there is no answer to this question that applies across the board. There're entirely too many varied circumstances for much other than broad generalizations.

 

It's so very true that the girls are seldom talking to each other about you or their other customers. Even if they are playing you they don't want to enlighten the potential competition about you if they're in mercenary mode and see you as a good mark. They are most often talking about every day things in their lives or that of friends as family, in my experience.

As to Thai and Laotian, or Lao, while there are many differences most Lao speakers can understand most Thai, though the inverse is often not the case. (The Thai speakers often don't understand so much Lao.)

The primary reasons a significant other wouldn't want one to speak Thai to her family is because you really don't speak it as well as you think and she's concerned you'll either inadvertently say the wrong thing, such as calling her mother a dog, or use tones and pronunciations so badly you, and thus her, look rather foolish. Just because she, (and some others), is used to your bad Thai and can understand you doesn't mean all other Thais who are less accustomed to pigeon Thai will follow it at the same pace, if at all.

That's not to discourage trying and learning to improve but rather to provide reasons why one's current level of ability, or lack thereof, isn't always received the same by all native speakers nor is it always wise to be in such a hurry to demonstrate one's Thai with restricted skill levels. I've actually had some Thais refuse to speak Thai with me at all because apparently my speaking it only served to increase their resentment of me in general. Though rare, that has happened and illustrates how arrogance and ignorance can seriously warp perspectives, imho.

 

As many other posters have stated I feel it's rather foolish not to learn some Thai, the more the better really, especially in proportion to the amount of time one spends in Thailand. And I'd reiterate that the mercenary ladies, or others who don't like it, other than possibly for brief periods of time such as ST sex when it's rather irrelevant, aren't people I'd want to associate with in the first place.

 

Peace,

TM

[DonTheJeweler]

As a brief sidetrack, where do you get the idea a foreigner can get a Thai passport?

 

In reply to some others who post their feelings as absolute truths, I'd remind you that there is no answer to this question that applies across the board. There're entirely too many varied circumstances for much other than broad generalizations.

 

It's so very true that the girls are seldom talking to each other about you or their other customers. Even if they are playing you they don't want to enlighten the potential competition about you if they're in mercenary mode and see you as a good mark. They are most often talking about every day things in their lives or that of friends as family, in my experience.

As to Thai and Laotian, or Lao, while there are many differences most Lao speakers can understand most Thai, though the inverse is often not the case. (The Thai speakers often don't understand so much Lao.)

The primary reasons a significant other wouldn't want one to speak Thai to her family is because you really don't speak it as well as you think and she's concerned you'll either inadvertently say the wrong thing, such as calling her mother a dog, or use tones and pronunciations so badly you, and thus her, look rather foolish. Just because she, (and some others), is used to your bad Thai and can understand you doesn't mean all other Thais who are less accustomed to pigeon Thai will follow it at the same pace, if at all.

That's not to discourage trying and learning to improve but rather to provide reasons why one's current level of ability, or lack thereof, isn't always received the same by all native speakers nor is it always wise to be in such a hurry to demonstrate one's Thai with restricted skill levels. I've actually had some Thais refuse to speak Thai with me at all because apparently my speaking it only served to increase their resentment of me in general. Though rare, that has happened and illustrates how arrogance and ignorance can seriously warp perspectives, imho.

 

As many other posters have stated I feel it's rather foolish not to learn some Thai, the more the better really, especially in proportion to the amount of time one spends in Thailand. And I'd reiterate that the mercenary ladies, or others who don't like it, other than possibly for brief periods of time such as ST sex when it's rather irrelevant, aren't people I'd want to associate with in the first place.

 

Peace,

TM

 

I agree with most of what you say, but I feel that this is more the case for speaking Thai in Pattaya, which I suppose is appropriate as this is the main focus of this forum. However, outside of Pattaya (and other mongering areas), I have received nothing but encourage from Thais who are very happy that someone is taking the time to learn their language. I used to have a gf in BKK, who was always trying to get me to speak Thai to her friends and family, as many of them had limited English. She was an office worker and not involved in the bar scene.

 

Even in my own country I have met Thais, on many occasions, who all seem to love that I can communicate with them in their own language, although far from fluently.

 

The negativity I have experienced has always been in Pattaya, which would lead me to believe there is more to it, rather than just my standard of Thai - I could be wrong!

 

Another thing I struggle with is how people can understand what the girls are talking about with each other all the time. I can sometimes understand a little about what they are talking about, or a least have an idea about the topic of discussion. From what I am lead to believe, from foreign friends, fluent in English, is that it is very difficult to follow a conversation that you are not part of. I have Spanish and German friends, who speak English fluently, and they all say the same things - they can't understand much about the conversations we have that they aren't directly involved with. Would be interesting if anyone has any further insight into this? I'm far from fluent in Thai, or any other language for that matter, so I can't relate whether it's true or false.

 

It's great to be able to share these ideas on this forum as it helps give some perspective and insight.

[Xylanic]

I agree with most of what you say, but I feel that this is more the case for speaking Thai in Pattaya, which I suppose is appropriate as this is the main focus of this forum. However, outside of Pattaya (and other mongering areas), I have received nothing but encourage from Thais who are very happy that someone is taking the time to learn their language. I used to have a gf in BKK, who was always trying to get me to speak Thai to her friends and family, as many of them had limited English. She was an office worker and not involved in the bar scene.

 

Even in my own country I have met Thais, on many occasions, who all seem to love that I can communicate with them in their own language, although far from fluently.

 

The negativity I have experienced has always been in Pattaya, which would lead me to believe there is more to it, rather than just my standard of Thai - I could be wrong!

 

Another thing I struggle with is how people can understand what the girls are talking about with each other all the time. I can sometimes understand a little about what they are talking about, or a least have an idea about the topic of discussion. From what I am lead to believe, from foreign friends, fluent in English, is that it is very difficult to follow a conversation that you are not part of. I have Spanish and German friends, who speak English fluently, and they all say the same things - they can't understand much about the conversations we have that they aren't directly involved with. Would be interesting if anyone has any further insight into this? I'm far from fluent in Thai, or any other language for that matter, so I can't relate whether it's true or false.

 

It's great to be able to share these ideas on this forum as it helps give some perspective and insight.

 

I can understand about 60%. Most of what they talk about involves their next meal or new shoes. I wish I was kidding.

[DonTheJeweler]

 

 

I can understand about 60%. Most of what they talk about involves their next meal or new shoes. I wish I was kidding.

 

Hi Xylanic - good thread about how you learnt Thai! I've been similar in my approach, but I've sacrificed a little conversation to learn to read and write properly, which should hopefully payoff in the future.

 

Do you not find it a struggle to keep track of where there conversations are going? I normally have an idea what's being discussed, but, as you say, it's nothing of great importance. The baht bus can be interesting sometimes, late at night, when you do sometimes hear a few people on the bus being discussed. I find it more difficult in the bars due to the noisy environment and the amount of people getting involved in the conversations.

 

What's been your experience of speaking Thai in Pattaya and outside Pattaya? Where have you experienced negativity most?

[brainhack]

Very interesting read, this thread... As I plan to visit Thailand a lot the next few years, I really have to get going with learning some thai!

 

During my first visit I had some fun learning basic words, and also putting the worst ones that I found in the dictionary into one sentence... Fortunately the girl I was exploring the language with was quite intelligent and open-minded, but even then she was shocked - going "you can´t say that, people will knock you down!"

 

Another interesting thing is always decifring the phonetics, the tiny differences and variations - so I settled for a perfect "mai mi banha". Took me some days, and then I tested it in a bar - which caused a lot of frantic chatting!

 

For a while I was afraid that I had said something really wrong, and when I at last got some attention back, they turned to me and asked "when did you learn thai???"

 

First they didn´t believe that that was the only expression I had learnt, but eventually relaxed and believed me.

 

Might have been a hint of prefering me not to know what they were talking about, but I am pretty sure that most of it was amusement, and there is no question that the girl I was hanging out with really respected me for trying

 

Just wonder, perhaps the best thing is to start with phonetics and alphabet, at least as I am in no particular hurry...

[Barstormer]

reading and writing Thai is more easy then trying to speak ..

that will fuck'em..lol