HIV? Need help and advice, please!

[cakeco]

I am a wife whose husband spent 5 days in Pattaya about 5 weeks ago. He worked there and due to heat got a very bad heat rash on his private areas and legs (which is normal for him). He then went to bars and strip clubs in "Walking Street" (hope I got the name right) and claims a woman who worked there, who was completely naked touched his pennis after touching herself, he claims he removed her hand promptly, that it was no BJ. Since he had a rash, I'm assuming her vaginal fluids got in his open skin, due to the heat rash. What are the odds of #1, a woman working the bars is infected with HIV and #2, if she is infected, what are the odds of it getting transmitted to him. I am beyond pissed and scared, haven't been able to sleep, eat or concentrate. He was totally drunk and swears that is all that happened. I am also freaking as it has been 5 weeks and he is now coming down with a cold, very congested, runny nose and sneezing, as well as a sore thoat. I know it is common for newly infected people to have flu like symptoms. I can't wait for it to be 3 months for him to get tested, not to mention the 6 months to be 100% sure.

 

I have never been to Pattaya and have no idea what to expect, please, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[ExpatDave]

I am a wife whose husband spent 5 days in Pattaya about 5 weeks ago. He worked there and due to heat got a very bad heat rash on his private areas and legs (which is normal for him). He then went to bars and strip clubs in "Walking Street" (hope I got the name right) and claims a woman who worked there, who was completely naked touched his pennis after touching herself, he claims he removed her hand promptly, that it was no BJ. Since he had a rash, I'm assuming her vaginal fluids got in his open skin, due to the heat rash. What are the odds of #1, a woman working the bars is infected with HIV and #2, if she is infected, what are the odds of it getting transmitted to him. I am beyond pissed and scared, haven't been able to sleep, eat or concentrate. He was totally drunk and swears that is all that happened. I am also freaking as it has been 5 weeks and he is now coming down with a cold, very congested, runny nose and sneezing, as well as a sore thoat. I know it is common for newly infected people to have flu like symptoms. I can't wait for it to be 3 months for him to get tested, not to mention the 6 months to be 100% sure.

 

I have never been to Pattaya and have no idea what to expect, please, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

I seriously, don't think he would catch anything that way. He probably has a cold from the Airline flight. I usually get sick on my flight back.

 

That being said, you both should go and get tested for STDs including HIV. That should relieve some of the stress.

[Edge]

I would put aside all the discussion about what may or may not have happened and how likely it is that he has contracted any disease.

 

You clearly have no way forward except for him and possibly yourself to undergo all the available tests required.

[Edge]

"no offence meant here but LOL"

 

Non taken but please do elaborate.

 

He's probably referring to your husband's account of what did or did not take place.

 

It will do nothing to alleviate your fears.

 

Only the testing can do that.

 

Edit - Did you find this site through your husband being a BM and/or is he likely to be reading this?

Just curious.

[ginseng]

If the exact events your husband describes are all that occurred I'd say there is probably a less than 1% chance he contracted anything. However I think you suspect that more may have happened and that is all he fessed up to. You may never know what happened but to put your mind at ease get tested. You can do so with very high reliability after just 30 days.

[jerry]

I am a wife whose husband spent 5 days in Pattaya about 5 weeks ago. He worked there and due to heat got a very bad heat rash on his private areas and legs (which is normal for him). He then went to bars and strip clubs in "Walking Street" (hope I got the name right) and claims a woman who worked there, who was completely naked touched his pennis after touching herself, he claims he removed her hand promptly, that it was no BJ. Since he had a rash, I'm assuming her vaginal fluids got in his open skin, due to the heat rash. What are the odds of #1, a woman working the bars is infected with HIV and #2, if she is infected, what are the odds of it getting transmitted to him. I am beyond pissed and scared, haven't been able to sleep, eat or concentrate. He was totally drunk and swears that is all that happened. I am also freaking as it has been 5 weeks and he is now coming down with a cold, very congested, runny nose and sneezing, as well as a sore thoat. I know it is common for newly infected people to have flu like symptoms. I can't wait for it to be 3 months for him to get tested, not to mention the 6 months to be 100% sure.

 

I have never been to Pattaya and have no idea what to expect, please, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

When you can find this forum and do some reading , I guess it's not that hard to find out or imagine what is going on in Pattaya .

 

I understand your concern and i think your husband has to take his responsibility in this and get himself tested as quick as possible .

No need to wait for the 3 months as they can do a test now which is maybe not 100% accurate but when he is infected there will be signs

in his blood by now .

 

 

#1 What are the odds that a girl is HIV infected ?

 

Nobody knows exactly but about 10-15% isn't far from the real number i think . A lot of girls who are infected even don't know

that they are as the symptoms are not that worse and a lot of them don't even know what HIV is so why spent money on a doctor .

Even when they know they are infected it won't keep them from working the bars or as a freelancer as they still need the money .

They need money for treatment as it is very expensive and also the family expects them to send money home because that was the

main reason they 'work' in a place like Pattaya .

And as there are a lot of men with strange desires they do almost anything for money even if that will expose them , or the men ,

to a possible HIV infection .

 

#2 Getting HIV from touching an open skin with infected fluids is of course possible .

 

 

To clear your mind , get him into a specialised hospital asap , explain what happened , and do a test .

[ExpatDave]

My question is this how did you husband explain to you why his penis was out so the girl could touch it? If he had his pants on would think that her trying to grab his wanker would be a little more difficult.

 

Those girls are trained professionals...It could happen.

 

Besides, I agree with Edge. It not a question of what happened, it is a question about her and his fear that he may may have exposed himself(no pun intended)to a STD. I think the answer covers it pretty well.

 

I am sure it is uncomfortable situation for both of them.

[Cerberus]

I am a wife whose husband spent 5 days in Pattaya about 5 weeks ago. He worked there and due to heat got a very bad heat rash on his private areas and legs (which is normal for him). He then went to bars and strip clubs in "Walking Street" (hope I got the name right) and claims a woman who worked there, who was completely naked touched his pennis after touching herself, he claims he removed her hand promptly, that it was no BJ. Since he had a rash, I'm assuming her vaginal fluids got in his open skin, due to the heat rash. What are the odds of #1, a woman working the bars is infected with HIV and #2, if she is infected, what are the odds of it getting transmitted to him. I am beyond pissed and scared, haven't been able to sleep, eat or concentrate. He was totally drunk and swears that is all that happened. I am also freaking as it has been 5 weeks and he is now coming down with a cold, very congested, runny nose and sneezing, as well as a sore thoat. I know it is common for newly infected people to have flu like symptoms. I can't wait for it to be 3 months for him to get tested, not to mention the 6 months to be 100% sure.

 

I have never been to Pattaya and have no idea what to expect, please, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

Under the circumstances given, the chances are so small as to be unmeasurable for all purposes. The HIV virus is a very weak virus outside of the body and dies quickly. Your real concern has to be as to if this story represents the truth. You can go and get him tested now, you will get a 99% accurate result at this point. a follow-up test after 8 weeks will give you a 100% result. (The doctors have to give themselves a margin of error as we live in a litigious society).

 

In the meantime you should treat any sexual contact between the pair of you as if he has contracted the virus. If he was totally drunk how can you trust his memory?

 

Good Luck.

Edited November 10, 2010 by Cerberus

[cakeco]

He is not reading this, I'm doing this all on my own.

 

What he said is that he was sitting and the girl approched him looking for him to buy her a drink and that's when she got closer and put her hand down his pants and grabbed his pennis.

 

My mind is going a 1000 miles per hour, want to believe him but I know sounds quite unreal. Thank you all for the info!

[Benny10]

While I understand your concerns, I think that in this particuar case, it would be far more efficient to consult a professional medic than a forum.

[ExpatDave]

He is not reading this, I'm doing this all on my own.

 

What he said is that he was sitting and the girl approached him looking for him to buy her a drink and that's when she got closer and put her hand down his pants and grabbed his penis.

 

My mind is going a 1000 miles per hour, want to believe him but I know sounds quite unreal. Thank you all for the info!

 

If it helps, what you described does happen in the Go-Gos.

 

The women will often gab the guys.

 

I hope things work out for you.

[QuotaMan]

Are you sure this is the wife and not the guy writing this?

 

I have yet to find any guy whose wife would approve of them going to Thailand/Pattaya alone in the first place (unless it was something business related).

 

All kidding aside, doesn't sound like something that would cause an infection to me.

[999Baht]

As others have said....I think on the medical side of things none of us are qualified to answer this.

Now on a GoGo side of things. Yes the girls will sometimes come over and put their hands down your pants or up your shorts leg.

I think it amuses them even more when they get the shocked look from an absolute newbie.

 

See a doctor and don't worry too much about your husbands activities.

If he was willing to tell you this much then it is more than likely the truth.

[cakeco]

It was work related and no, I don't approve of it.

 

Thanks so much for the info provided, I truly appreciate it. Please, if anybody can think of anything else, please do share.

[stonepeace]

It was work related and no, I don't approve of it.

 

Thanks so much for the info provided, I truly appreciate it. Please, if anybody can think of anything else, please do share.

Well, there *is* a treatment that would probably be totally worthless now, but if you want him to experience the side-effects, you could insist. Post-exposure prophylaxis.

I doubt he will be going to Thailand anytime soon after that.

[lavista4u]

cakeco, I'm from India, supposedly the most infected region in the world after africa if you go by WHO stats and i have travelled to south east asia many times which has more freedom in sexual matters and i have encountered many bar girls during the last 14 years.

 

What i have come to learn is the HIV thingy is overblown, just relax your husband will be fine...not all bar girls are walking dead jombie's infecting everyone around...and HIV is not spread like you mentioned. The thing is if you have HIV in your "MIND" whatever your body does you immediately relate to it. Just relax, take a test and move on..we all go through this some point in life and learn the lesson...its not the media created monster that we need to fear day and night. with enough precaution we all are safe and i don't think your husband did anything wroung that other men won't do.

 

What he needs right now is your support and understanding which you are doing it right now by inquiring. Good luck no need to fear..

[Daveo]

I am not an expert on HIV but I guess the main advice is NEVER do it without a condom, a guy I know has just returned to UK from Pattaya with HIV, and he said he hardly ever wore a condom, so I find it hard to have any sympathy for him or the girls who allowed him to do it.

 

If I give advice on this stuff to newbies the 1st thing I say is ask the girl if she will do it without a condom and if she says yes then walk away.

[QuotaMan]

I am not an expert on HIV but I guess the main advice is NEVER do it without a condom, a guy I know has just returned to UK from Pattaya with HIV, and he said he hardly ever wore a condom, so I find it hard to have any sympathy for him or the girls who allowed him to do it.

 

If I give advice on this stuff to newbies the 1st thing I say is ask the girl if she will do it without a condom and if she says yes then walk away.

 

Very sobering, another person infected that a BM is aware of.

 

Aside from the original topic, it still seems to me people don't take protection seriously or don't care, they feel the odds are always in their favor, the chances they'll catch anything as slim to none (being 'comforted' by some of the BM's here who say they have gone bareback for decades and never caught anything). Or that somehow Thai girls are "cleaner" than working girls elsewhere. Any reason in their minds the HIV risks are small.

[Devil Plaything]

I have removed a number of posts from this thread that were not helpful. If you do not have any constructive advice to offer the OP, do not post. Thank you.

[Devil Plaything]

To the OP: Even after having unprotected sex with an infected female, the odds of contracting HIV from a single incident are generally considered to be low. From the circumstances as described, I would assume the risk is very low indeed. There are a myriad other possible explanations for his symptoms, all more likely than HIV and probably unrelated to the incident. I would not be unduly worried in your circumstances.

 

That said, it would not be prudent to ignore the matter completely, but there really is no substitute from an examination by a doctor to determine what the problem is. I would lay money on it being a simple cold, but I would imagine your mind is not going to be put to rest until he's been tested - 5 weeks is a good time to get it done.

[Highlander]

I understand your concerns and worries.

 

As most people have indicated not many people are qualified to comment on the medical specific but after spending 7 years in the Royal Navy and catching a few things myself I have at least a field knowledge of STD's and as a regular visitor to Pattaya I agree that what he said went on, does happen on a minute by minute basis.

 

Today's testing techniques are pretty quick and infections can be detected pretty quickly, 21 days in some cases but the definitive result is considered 3 Months.

 

Again it does depend on the accuracy of what your partner has told you but the rash thing is potentially what we used to call in the Navy "Dhobie Rash" which is a side effect of a humid environment, laundry powder and sweat and literally is a very mild fungal thing from memory, and goes away itself or can be treated with something similar to canesten.

 

As far as the flu like symptoms, that can possible be explained by being exposed to a different strain of a flu virus than your body is used to.

 

As people have advised, treat it like he is HIV positive until you get the test results.

 

I can't imagine the worry you are going through but I hope you get the answers you need.

 

Please see a link below to a website that will answer all your questions.

 

Link To HIV Website

[cakeco]

Thank you all for the information, you have no idea how it has calmed me down. I am, by no means, trying to start something here, I'm just looking for information about Pattaya and HIV in that city, as I've never been there myself. Thought this would be a good site to ask how the sex workers look there and what the statistics were, in case somebody knew.

 

Also, I am not looking to get a diagnose from you guys, I am well aware that he needs to get tested, he has already and will get results in about 2 weeks. He will get tested again at 3 and 6 months. We are not taking any chances.

 

Thank you again for everything!!! It is truly appreciated!

[Cerberus]

Thank you all for the information, you have no idea how it has calmed me down. I am, by no means, trying to start something here, I'm just looking for information about Pattaya and HIV in that city, as I've never been there myself. Thought this would be a good site to ask how the sex workers look there and what the statistics were, in case somebody knew.

 

Also, I am not looking to get a diagnose from you guys, I am well aware that he needs to get tested, he has already and will get results in about 2 weeks. He will get tested again at 3 and 6 months. We are not taking any chances.

 

Thank you again for everything!!! It is truly appreciated!

 

Where do you live that results take so long?

[cakeco]

We are in Bahrain. Thanks again!!!

[ADJ]

I would be very shocked if your husband had caught HIV from that instance. HIV is very fragile in the open air, if your husband had placed his fingers inside an infected bar girl it would still be tough to catch hiv, unless he had cut's or dry skin around his fingers. In all likely hood you have nothing to worry about. Plus if she touched his penis shaft then that isn't really going to matter, it's more the head (gland) and opening (jap eye), even then I wouldn't worry. When I was boxing I went for hiv tests, I was very prone to getting cuts in the corner of my eyes. The doctor told me that in order to catch HIV from the other boxers blood around 5ml would have to get into my cuts. 5ml's is around a teaspoon! Please get checked, but try and relax.