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thanks for the link

Farang = Walking ATM. TG's push the right buttons and money comes out. PIN = BBBJ

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thanks for the link

You're welcome. You don't have to stay on my book's preview - there are plenty more.

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  • 2 months later...

You're welcome. You don't have to stay on my book's preview - there are plenty more.


I love the "thaiexpert" articles.... here's an example!!!




Your first trip to Thailand


Hi there. ThaiExpert here. As you may know, my qualification to expound on all things Thai arises from having walked past a Thai restaurant in my home country once. Today I will be giving a few pointers for your very first trip to Thailand.


So there you are, just having stepped off the plane at "Don Muang" (literal translation: Nookie Town) Airport after your 24 hour super extra-saver special on Balkan International Airways (Slogan : "We get you there - maybe"). The first thing you need to know about Thailand is that all women are available to a sophisticated international traveler like yourself. Yes!! Each and every girl, woman, lady or grandmother is yours simply for the asking. Indeed, one greets people with the Thai phrase "Sawadee Krap" (literal translation: How much?). Feeling tired, tense or exhausted after your long flight? Simply approach the nearest baggage handler, floor cleaner or airport staff: you will be taken care of!! Most experienced travelers however, recommend first reaching your hotel before embarking on your voyage of discovery. Never forget that "Room service" has a special meaning here in Thailand!!


For those of you of a more retiring disposition, Thailand has arranged special meeting places to enable you to get to know more women of a particularly friendly disposition. Some of these establishments, which we shall consider today, go by the name of "A-go-go" bars (literal translation: Holy Momma). In these establishments young Thai maidens (lit trans: Go-go girls) selflessly dedicate themselves, night after night, to introducing the complexities of Thai culture to young men of various nationalities (lit trans: sex tourists). Sacrificing all their finer feelings, and working in such hot and humid conditions that they are *sometimes forced to shed their clothing*!!!!


These young women have spent years honing their linguistic skills, and will be able to discuss with you the finer points of Thailand.


Comparative aesthetics (lit trans: Hello Hansum man)


Geography (lit trans: Where you from?)


Cultural nuances (lit trans: I like man from [insert your country here] he good heart)


Economics (lit trans: Buy me cola?)


Relativity (lit trans: You want short time or long?)


Nuclear physics (lit trans: you want Boom-boom?)


and Lung Physiology (lit trans: I no sa-moke)


Like all places, "A-go-go bars" (HM), have appropriate rules of behaviour. Transgressions of these are dealt with severely. A "bar fine" will immediately be imposed, usually of four or five hundred baht. One of these fine and sensitive young ladies will immediately escort you from the premise. To ensure that you commit no further social faux pas, you will effectively be grounded, and will be forced to stay in your hotel room for the remainder of the night. To ensure compliance, the young lady who escorted you from the premise will remain with you for the rest of the night. In order to recompense the lady for her time, and to show true contrition, it is traditional to give the lady her taxi fare home. Given that these ladies invariably come from Northeastern Thailand, this may run several thousand baht.


A word of warning here is appropriate. It is a little known fact that there is an actual shortage of females in Thailand. To "fill up the gap" so to speak, many young Thai men have also sacrificed their finer feelings to ensure that the visitor to Thailand does not feel neglected. These fine young men go to considerable lengths to ensure that the average visitor does not notice the shortage of women. Given high social status for their efforts they are given the title: Katoeys (lit trans: "helpers" or “Aids"). Absurdly, some visitors feel that it is necessary to differentiate between the young ladies and their "helpers", qiving rise to the oft asked question "How can I tell a Katoey (H or A)". This, my dear friends, is simple. If her cock is longer than yours, it’s a katoey.



I don't believe there's a lie in every smile.

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      18th April - where angels play Soi 6
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