Secrets VIP Retreat

[Gobby]

Personally I wouldnt piss on this place...sent an email to enquire about staying there new year...never even got a reply...after arriving in patts went inside secrets for a G&T then left quickly...dont see what all the fuss is about...certainly wont be having a drink in there again too boring for me

 

personally i feel the people in res couldnt have been more faster.. 5 emails sent 5 emails recived ( booking and moving dates back and forth) it took them about 24 hours each of course...but then they are half way around the world..again.. i think its great....

[digg-it]

All this talk neg of Secrets VIP Retreat. If the club is anything to go by then i'll be heading to the retreat 4-shuuwaw!

[Agent09]

How the Other Half Live

 

Exclusivity is a saleable concept. As someone who's only been into the Secrets Bar twice, once with a TG and once alone, I have no knowledge of the politics and vitriol this venue seems to generate, so am not 'Olaf the Axe Grinder' I suppose I can look at this resort pitch with a balanced eye.

 

What is it that makes people pay a reputed $40,000 a DAY to hire Richard Branson's private island Necker? Tick the boxes on your choices below in your head...

- All meals and drinks (both alcoholic and other)

- A team of approximately 50 fabulous staff

- Two freshwater pools and two Jacuzzis - Beach pool - Two floodlit tennis courts

- Windsurfing and kite surfing equipment - Sailing and speed boats

- Kayaks, Water-skiing equipment, Snorkeling equipment, Inflatable banana etc - Fishing equipment

- Local calypso band for one party evening - Business facilities, wireless internet Phones available throughout the island

 

(note: you STILL dont get any girls with it... not even for $40k !!)

 

This kinda puts the Secrets Resort into perspective - but doesn't it show that in fact in all of us, those who consider that extravagance in any form for any level has some merit, that often it's the intangible and fleeting glimpse of 'how the other half live' that drives us to invest monies that back home would make us think a lot more than twice about losing?

 

For a few years emerging from my 'old life' into civilian business, with the smiles of fortune I had several flash cars, a UK house with a pool, twin girlfriends, etc etc, and pushed myself into the Rolex/Ferrari/Morgan blah blah level paying a fortune to eat at Le Manoir aux Quatre Saisons. Waterside Inn and Caviar House etc... One day fortune turned her back to me, but I eventually fought back on my own. Now I drive a Mini Cooper S, work work work in a PAYE job for someone else and save to go to LOS to enjoy honourary 2 week millionaire status.! I am still hugely better off than so many. Yes I'd give a lot to be an ex-pat retired on even a modest budget in LOS or even to just have the same apartment, car and job I have here in the cold Land of Lard but be out in Pattaya working instead. I know both sides of the economic coin from 15 room house to bedsit land and 40 quid a week 'job seeking benefit' and partly back again

 

Grasping that ' wow' factor, the 'I've made it' label, even for a day, is something many men want to experience and something we are all bombarded with 'lifestyle messages' about in the media. While I have not a ghost's chance of booking Necker, the idea of having my own Pattaya micro-resort and filling it full of semi-naked girls for two evenings for 10k Baht upwards is a pretty good one, as an extravagance. And that's exactly what it is. The rest of the time I am the 'ordinary joe' on my trips. I agree with kunjon who compares the stay at Pattaya Bay Resort. Same same with me at Areca Lodge which to me is a step-up treat luxury to the cheapo Siam Sawasdee I stay at otherwise. Horses for Courses as the landed english say.

 

I read other guy's trip reports and envy the smart 3000-5000 a night hotels they can afford, the paid parties and groups of 3-5 girls a time , and other guys who are tasking themselves to a tight budget yet eeking out all that LOS can provide for it. First trip to LOS I stayed in 500Bt night Soi Buakhoa room. Heaven compared to UK despite the lowly room. It's a simple perfect market choice, and for me, yes I'd love to be able to afford this Secrets venue (once) for the effect, the thrill, the feeling of indulging myself. Hang the cost, because once you are in that mode you shouldnt care, or don't go there... I used to save up to eat at The Ritz. For a few short years it became affordable often, now I'd have to save again, but I'd rather spend the money on LOS street food and Soi 6 BJs.

 

Personally I'd rather be the guy with the 10 mil Baht house etc etc.. ha, ha, who wouldn't.. but in essence this just seems like a wise commercial move to create a special, invigorating luxury choice to dangle in front of us all for our mad money moments. It's there for the taking, and as wisely said none of us are forced to choose it. I hope if and when I would be brave enough with my cash to take the plunge, I have as damn good a time as the poster here did and rate it worthwhile. One room for one night in the Ritz in London is a goodly bit over the equivalent of 5k Baht now and I know you don't get as much 'bang for your buck' there!! I'd imagine the Secret's people have seen the nature of this venue as appealing to that exact Desire in a limited number of punters...and for what it appears to be.. it seems reasonably well thought out at first glance. This is a targeted offering catering for that 'exclusivity' tag with accompanying price. It should be compared fairly against other similar 'spoil yourself rotten' luxury venues. Time will tell and they will need to find out how their paying guests rate it and possibly adapt the offering to maximise revenue overall, and decide whether it's worth repeating it with further houses.

 

' chance would be a fine thing' as they say.. I'll let you know if I am ever lucky enough to afford a stay in it

[HellRaiser]

Nice Pics

[nightowl]

Gday forum members

Bottom line is that the "Unique" ROFL house with pool that Secrets flogs to death is a complete ripp off,

go to any estate agent in town and ask for short term leases on houses with pools, you will find the prices ranging from 30-50k a month, and 100k for something very very special

and they will do short term rentals for 1 or 2 weeks, for far far less than Secrets and you have ALL the rooms in the house

All you are paying for with Secrets is for fat Bent to live free in the house just like he used to do with the Residents hotel telling everyone what a great deal it was just so he got a free room

What really makes me laugh is the gang of little Secrets cronies recruited to advertise the place as if they are genuine happy customers when all they are is Bents little ass kissers

Best food in town hilarious

Best rooms hilarious

best service HILARIOUS

and if a word of criticism is mentioned about the place on their forum it is conveniently deleted and covered up rather then dealt with

Dont get me wrong i don't hate the place i just think is an average,badly designed bar charging go go bar prices,

and an above average guest house masquerading as a hotel

 

you have to take your hat off to Fat Bent for getting away with it so long

 

Secrets retreat is NOTHING more than a house with pool of which there are HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS in Pattaya

shop around people get a better house thats all yours with a pool for 50k a month opposed to 2 bedrooms of a shared house with Secrets for an astonishing 300k plus plus plus a month HILARIOUS.

Also then go pick our own girls rather than the average overpriced Sheila's from Secrets

noobs read this and learn, old hands you know i speak the truth

 

over and out

[Mr.DreamTransport]

[PagMah]

I agree, you can make your own VIP retreat for a whole lot less.

Liam

[Ned Kelly]

Gday forum members

Bottom line is that the "Unique" ROFL house with pool that secrets flogs to death is a complete ripp off,

go to any estate agent in town and ask for short term leases on houses with pools, you will find the prices ranging from 30-50k a month, and 100k for something very very special

and they will do short term rentals for 1 or 2 weeks, for far far less than secrets and you have ALL the rooms in the house

All you are paying for with secrets is for fat Bent to live free in the house just like he used to do with the Residents hotel telling everyone what a great deal it was just so he got a free room

What really makes me laugh is the gang of little secrets cronies recruited to advertise the place as if they are genuine happy customers when all they are is Bents little ass kissers

Best food in town hilarious

Best rooms hilarious

best service HILARIOUS

and if a word of criticism is mentioned about the place on their forum it is conveniently deleted and covered up rather then dealt with

Dont get me wrong i don't hate the place i just think is an average,badly designed bar charging go go bar prices,

and an above average guest house masquerading as a hotel

 

you have to take your hat off to Fat Bent for getting away with it so long

 

Secrets retreat is NOTHING more than a house with pool of which there are HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS in Pattaya

shop around people get a better house thats all yours with a pool for 50k a month opposed to 2 bedrooms of a shared house with secrets for an astonishing 300k plus plus plus a month HILARIOUS.

Also then go pick our own girls rather than the average overpriced Sheila's from secrets

noobs read this and learn, old hands you know i speak the truth

 

over and out

 

Well said Owl,

 

But keep in mind there are plenty of dopes in town who will swallow the Shhhhhite propaganda.

 

Ned

[Tang]

Fuck me...you got served?????..More than I did on my LAST two occaisions!!...But this isn't what the thread is about though is it??

 

Yes

Edited February 24, 2008 by Farangutang

[BobbyTits]

Well said Owl,

 

But keep in mind there are plenty of dopes in town who will swallow the Shhhhhite propaganda.

 

Ned

 

Especially when it is force fed to them on an over moderated forum

[Shuggy]

Just to remind those that missed this the first time.

 

Lets keep this on track guys. This thread is about Secrets VIP Retreat. Not about Secrets Forum. Any posts that go off track will be removed.

[sbcheflino]

If it is all inclusive...Drinks , girls....room...that would be a hell of a place to stay....some how I don't think that is the story...What the hell you can always save you pennies and give it a try at least once.....If I had the cash I would be there everyday..................AND NIGHT....

[wtbt]

Hi Guys,

 

Sorry to revive an old thread. 3 of us are really considering getting the Secrets retreat for 6 nights to have some real fun.

 

I keep hearing people complain about the price. I can understand it might be expensive for just 1 guy. But I'm trying to see the downside if 3 of us go in on it together.

 

They seem to have lowered their prices and 3 bedrooms now sits at 7000bht/night. So divide by 3 = 2333bht per person!

 

To me this seems like a VERY good price for what you get. 24 hour dedicated maid service. Breakfast cooked for you every morning.. PRIVATE POOL!! The list goes on.

 

I've looked into other villa rentals as others have mentioned. Sure you can get a better per night rate if you stay a month. But we only want a place like this for 6 nights. So a week at other villas seem to run around 5000-7000/night. Same range with less options.

 

I'm really not trying to push this place on anyone, in fact I'm looking for someone to point out something i've missed. Cause at the moment this just seems like it's going to be great fun!!

[sonic692]

Any pics?