Afraid that I might have catched HIV

[Jay123]

So I was to Pattaya for two months and just recently came back home. When I was in Pattaya, like many of you posters here I were with some thai girls. Since I'm death scared of catching HIV I always used condom, but the thing that is making me go crazy of anxious right now is that the condom brake while I was with a girl. And not just with one girl, no, with three different girls the condom broke.

 

I know it sounds really odd that the condom managed to break so many times, but the first two times were with the first two girls I used a thai condom with, and the one I had bought was just simply to small… These two condom brakes occurred 7 weeks ago, so I guess if I take a HIV-test and it comes back negative the odds are extremely low I catched HIV from any of those two girls, since 7 weeks from possible exposure should be enough time to see if you got HIV or not.

To make me worry for even longer time, I had the third condom brake, and that was with the last girl I was with. And that last time was just one week ago, so that one will bug my mind for a long time, since I have to wait several weeks before a HIV-test can clear me from having catch HIV from that girl. With that girl, I asked later if she had been testing herself lately, and the reaction I got was a bit odd. She laughed at me and told me not to worry, and said that she testes herself every third month. Hopefully she was telling the truth so the chance of having caught HIV from her is low.

With the other two girls I didn’t ask anything since it was in the beginning of my vacation and I didn’t think too much of the risk of catching a STD when the condom broke. The only thing I worried about then was to tell the girl to get to a pharmacy and buy pills to stop a possible pregnancy.

 

So, anyway, this week I’m heading to hospital to test myself against all “famous” STD’s. I would not mind too much if I got Chlamydia for instant (of course I prefer not to have got it) but I’m dead worried of the possibility that I might have got HIV. I’m only 21 and if I would get the result that I have HIV, I feel like it would end my life… I’m almost suicidal only by the thought that I might have HIV.

I almost don’t want to test myself, because somehow I feel that I would rather live with HIV without knowing it for several years, even though the consequences would be much bigger for my health then since I would not have taking any medication then. But because of one reason I have to go to test myself, and that reason is that if I am that unlucky that I caught HIV, I want to know it so I don’t infect any other people with it.

 

I guess it’s not much you can help me with, but I just wanted to write myself of to ease of my mind a bit. Right now I feel like I’m going through the worst time of my life, and I’ve been going through a lot of things even though my young age.

I’m also writing this, so that I can look back to this post in some months when I hopefully have gotten the results that I’m not infected with HIV. This post will then remind me of how life can turn in just a second, and for the rest of my life I won’t take things in life as granted like I’ve done before.

So I guess it's good luck to me and I can only pray and hope that I haven’t got HIV. I’ll post updates how it goes for me…

[Scumbag]

The chances of catching HIV under those circumstances is remote particularly if you did not have another STD at the same time. The commonly quoted number is 1 in 1000 if you are having unprotected sex with a known infected person. I can understand why you are worried but you probably needn't.

[lee27]

like scumbag said mate the chances of you contacting hiv are very very low i would calm down relax and in future just buy a good quality condoms from your home country and take them with you i realise its easy for someone to say to you to relax and dont worry but i think the chances of you having hiv are about the same as me winning this weeks lottery

[Craig_ozz]

like scumbag said mate the chances of you contacting hiv are very very low i would calm down relax and in future just buy a good quality condoms from your home country and take them with you i realise its easy for someone to say to you to relax and dont worry but i think the chances of you having hiv are about the same as me winning this weeks lottery

 

I'd hate to get AIDS, but winning that lottery sounds good

[Scumbag]

I have removed a few posts from this thread. If anyone has doubts about the validity of any report such as this please use the report function clearing stating your reasons.

[Hole]

If it makes you feel any better condoms are breaking on me all the time

[Jay123]

The chances of catching HIV under those circumstances is remote particularly if you did not have another STD at the same time. The commonly quoted number is 1 in 1000 if you are having unprotected sex with a known infected person. I can understand why you are worried but you probably needn't.

Thanks for the support giving me "good" news.

 

I've been googling a LOT, and found the same numbers. But I saw on a other forum that somebody wrote, that those low odds only applied if the infected person knew they were infected and therefore took medication against HIV.

My guess is that most people in Thailand who got HIV don't know about it, so therefore they don't take any medication against it (and maybe many can't afford it as well), so the risk is bigger catching HIV from a HIV-positive who is not on medication.

 

But even though, I know the risk is small I got HIV. But there is the risk... Even if the risk only is 1% that I catched it, I feel like I'm playing russian roulette with a bullet in a magazine that can fit 100 bullets, with the big difference that I have to wait for several weeks before I can pull the trigger and see if I make it out alive or not. And that feeling is killing me slowly...

[Archer4]

I have only ever had one condom break on me and that was one supplied in a Chinese soapy. I wasn't planning on going there, so got caught out. It's also good practice to bring a good supply from your own country and buy a top brand. It may cost more, but the worry and stress it causes when one breaks is not worth the extra cost IMO.

 

But I would relax until you know otherwise

[carsmike111]

hay mate go get the test and pout your mind at rest hope its all good 4 u

[Mav]

Jay....we have all had condoms break....and some of us bare back when we know it's silly......you will be fine, so relax and get on with it.

[R-KivE]

Just chill man, so many people post on here shitting it about catchin HIV, including myself once. The only good you can do yourself is to get tested. I know its a bit of an anxious wait but try and blank it until you know for sure. TBH the chances of you catching it are pretty slim unless blood is involved. Relax mate.

[kansuwan]

1. Get tested now for everything. Don't be shy about telling the doc about where you've been and what you've done: they're there to help, not to judge.

 

2. Get tested again in 3 months.

 

3. Use condoms in the meantime.

 

4. Don't think too much about what may/may not happen if you are HIV+. Anti-retrovirals have come a long way.

[Jay123]

Thanks for the support.

 

Yeah, I know, you are all right. The chances are small I got it, so I should not worry to much. Anyway I've been and tested myself against HIV, hepatit and chlamydia now. I'll get the results sometime next week, so first then I know if I passed the first test... But at least I feel a bit relieved now after I've tested myself, and the nurse didn't seem to worried about that I could have caught HIV. I guess thats a good sign when even the nurse says the odds are really small that I have caught HIV.

[culvers]

When these threads come up (every week it seems now) why does the poster always say he feel suicidal? Nobody wants HIV, but nowadays most people have a good chance to live well into old age with the medication available. I certainly wouldn't consider killing myself if i got it.

[yogi100]

You're worrying unnecessarily, in eleven years I've only known one chap to get AIDS and he traveled a lot to Africa, Cambodia and the LOS. Most of those who contract the disease are junkies and homosexuals. Junkies with dirty needles and homos with broken blood vessels in the anus.

[welshwonder]

You're worrying unnecessarily, in eleven years I've only known one chap to get AIDS and he traveled a lot to Africa, Cambodia and the LOS. Most of those who contract the disease are junkies and homosexuals. Junkies with dirty needles and homos with broken blood vessels in the anus.

 

 

Well if that is the case, which i very much doubt it shudnt you have also included bar girls and ladyboys too

[Garzan]

Thanks for the support.

 

Yeah, I know, you are all right. The chances are small I got it, so I should not worry to much. Anyway I've been and tested myself against HIV, hepatit and chlamydia now.

 

Good that you got yourself tested, and good luck with the results. One other thing that I haven't seen mentioned is that all this stress that you're putting yourself through is doing it's own part to weaken your immune system. It's undoubtedly hard to do, but in the short term the best you can do for yourself is to chill out. You either have it or you don't, and the odds are in your favor that you don't. Either way, all this worry is doing you no good, and will make no difference.

 

You got your first test. My biased opinion is that the best thing you can do is mark your calendar for three months from now to get retested, and do your best to forget about it until then.

 

Oh, and don't forget to wear your rubbers when you get wet.

 

Cheers!

[Garzan]

Well if that is the case, which i very much doubt it shudnt you have also included bar girls and ladyboys too

 

I think it means there is no such thing as too much lube when you're packing a pooper.

[mishwar]

I don't want to sound like a broken record, but I truly want to put your mind at ease. I too have had many condoms break while inside girls and I too had done my share of worrying. But the fact is that the odds are so much in your favor. so go get tested and then get tested again after a couple of months. Its is a good idea to refrain from having unprotected sex with your regular GF/wife until you are 100% sure,,,,, Please keep us posted .... Good luck brother.

[R-KivE]

to put your mind more at ease, i just got my 3 month results back last week all negative.

 

In total Ive shagged around 15 thai bar girls without protection, and iv only been to thailand twice, so its pretty much half the chicks ive been with out there. And it wasn't a break in the condom, it was full on bangin for hours, and one occasion there was some blood. I know its extremely stupid to do but Im aware of the risks and took the chances. Anyway up until recieving my results I started getting bad aches and pains in my muscles and joints and a couple of night sweats here and there, I was shitting it. I think it was just anxiety from worrying about it, just an overeaction that actually made me feel ill.

 

So its best to just forget about it, and what ever you do, do not search on the internet looking for answers as you will stress yourself out 10 fold. Believe me.

Edited May 10, 2010 by R-KivE

[Jay123]

Glad it worked out all good for all of you who have been in the spot I'm now. Hopefully in three months I can be one of the guys calming down people like me, who post topics like this one.

 

And once again thanks for the support. It really helps to calm down myself. And you're right, there is no point in worrying about it since I can't do anything about it now, but then again, it's hard to not be worried. For instant when I entered the waiting lounge at the hospital today, I berely could breath. I don't know what happened but it is like that when I sat down on the sofa, it felt like I had just been sprinting 100m, so obviously this stress I'm putting myself through is affecting me quite bad.

 

I guess I just have to smash into my head the fact that the odds of me having caught HIV are extremely small (this doctor quotes that the odds are 5 in 10000 for a man to get it from a women, http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/SafeSex/Archive/TransmissionSexual/Q203174.html ), too beat the anxiousity.

 

Something I didn't mention earlier is one thing I think is in favor for me. That is that all the girls wanted to use condom and no one even tried to give me a bareback blowjob, so hopefully that's a good indication that the girls themself are aware of the riskes with STD's and are doing all they can to protect themself from it.

[Jay123]

Anyway I've been and tested myself against HIV, hepatit and chlamydia now. I'll get the results sometime next week, so first then I know if I passed the first test...

So I just got the results and they were all good. No HIV, hepatit or chlamydia. Hopefully this means that I'm completely safe from the first two possible exposures, since it had passed ~7 weeks since that happened when I took the test.

And thoose two exposures were the one I were most worried about, since I started to remember that I actually had fever (had been to hospital the day before for other reasons, and the nurse said I had fever) the first days in Pattaya so I was worried that my immun defence was pretty weak then, and therefore I would have had bigger risk to catch HIV if I was exposed to it...

 

Anyway I feel much more calm now after having got the first result back. But I'll do another test in june, and be back with update then. Hopefully and most likely it will come back with the same result.

 

Take care.

[cyberoy69]

I know of an expat, he is a serial bare-backer who has been here for 13 years...admits to having had the clap 9 times...looks healthy and a bit pup-pui...so i wouldn't stress too much. Good luck.

[Anokanite]

You worry to much, didn't you also learn some of the eastern ways. Or as an older actress over here was asked in an interview. The host made a comment about her worrying so much in the old days. Her answer was that was stupid nothing she ever worried about ever happened, it was always the stuff she didn't see coming that bit her in the ass. Yes get checked, but don't beat yourself up. And remember the good times. You may want to go somewhere else than your regular Dr. to keep it off your medical record. Best if your city has a confidential

sex clinic, or better yet do in LOS. It could affect your insurance rates, their speculation why your asking would probably be, much worse than what you describe.

Edited June 24, 2010 by Anokanite

[Regor21]

You should use plenty of lube and they wont break unless they are poor quality, dont worry you have more chance being run over by a motor bike, if your numbers up your numbers up, it is written