Virgin Shortage.

[Jumbo 2]

Reuters - 25 January 2010

 

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday

in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife.

Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

 

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins

a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February

from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years

of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the

afterlife.

 

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs

(B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members

and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir

told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the

cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is

a kick in the teeth".

 

Speaking from a shed in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin

Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is

simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting

the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to

Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I

don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they

won't be able to blow themselves up."

 

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the

entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their

operations as "There are no virgins in their areas anyway".

 

 

Apparently a recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to

the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know what

a virgin looks like, they are not so keen on going to paradise....

[Frank2010]

LOL well i guess if your gonna strike thats as good a reason as any.........lol

[jerry]

 

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins

a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February

from 72 to only 60.

 

 

72 - 16,67% = 60 , so it isn't that bad ,

The Euro and pound did go down more than that last year !

[hazze]

There used to be a joke going around.

 

The suicide bomber is up in heaven, expecting his virgins.

And he's surronded by 70 guys wearing star trek outfits.

He's looking really pissed of and shouting "OSAMA!!!!!"

[rubik101]

Maybe SuBo's picture should be printed ona million leaflets and scattered over the training camps with the appropriate message. Actually, that is being very unfair to the poor woman, she can't help her looks. Shame on me for mentioning it, sorry.

[Anokanite]

Do they get any pro's trown in? Or do they think that because they are dumb enough, to be suicidal in the first place, they should let them do the bloody work. Don't spoil the help.

[Gdaaym8z]

There used to be a joke going around.

 

The suicide bomber is up in heaven, expecting his virgins.

And he's surronded by 70 guys wearing star trek outfits.

He's looking really pissed of and shouting "OSAMA!!!!!"

 

LMAO!

 

[lostagain]

Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

 

Not to mention the beforelife ???

 

I read another story about some Muslim women getting a "stitch in time" before their wedding night.

Perhaps all they need is a good surgeon.

Osssam's PR people could promote them as the new improved "experienced" virgins.

Edited May 31, 2010 by lostagain