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Big Trouble in Sporting Thailand 2


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Just when you though Thailand couldn't be hit with any more bad news, The Pattaya Daily News publishes another major sports story.



Chonburi, 22 September,[PDN]: over 100 buffaloes supposed to be busily practicing to race at the run up to the 2009 Buffalo Racing Festival on 3 October have all turned rebellious. Due to the unusually hot turn to the climate, the buffalos have all gone on strike, and are stubbornly refusing to co-operate with their owners.



Rather than be whipped or prodded into action by their bareback jockeys to charge down the 130-metre long race track, these lazy beasts are resentful of their trainers’ attempts to spur them into action. Mind you, this is not necessarily unusual, racing buffalos regularly dig their hooves in or chuck their riders off their backs in the same way they would flick their tails at irksome flies. They don’t appreciate that since they were taken out of the wearisome task of pulling ploughs and other farm drudgery to concentrate full time on racing, that they have an obligation to earn a handful of baht for their competitive and avaricious owners.


They’d rather, if the truth were told, return to their archetypal past-time of wallowing in the mud; they are water buffaloes, after all, and despite the Thai proclivity to use their Thai name disparagingly, calling those with less than lightning fast intellects ‘kwais’, these beasts are far from stupid.


In fact, at village no. 4, Ban Toong Kwang, Monnang, Panusnikom, the wily beasts have all taken to turning a deaf ear to their trainers’ frustrated cries to action. Instead, they’ve turned stubborn and moody, only becoming amenable when they are led down to the local swamp ponds, where they can wallow to their hearts’ content in the company of their fellow rebels.


The buffaloes have obviously got it right. After all who in their right minds wants to compete for ludicrous prizes of between Bt5-16,000 and an irrigation water pump as the best decorated buffalo, when the only decoration they are interested in is a coat of warm, slimy mud? And what benefit are they going to get from an irrigation pump, apart perhaps from increasing the water level in their swamp pool. They are likewise equally unimpressed with the complex calculations necessary to determine the 14th full moon night of the 11th lunar month, or with the fact that they have royal patronage.


Of course, from the comfort of the swamp pools, they can survey the hot and irritable spectators, fuming in frustration on the sidelines. So who has the most ‘sanuk’ time? The buffaloes do of course, so who are the kwais?

When a man is tired of Pattaya, he is tired of life.


An Agent of DOOM - defenders of older men

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