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JeremyS

Mongering Best Practices

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JeremyS

This of course is just my humble opinion, my two satangs, but I have been to Thailand more times than I can probably count or certainly remember. I made every rookie/newby mistake there is. In fact, my first trip was preinternet, so as you can imagine, the mongering scene was different and there was no central source of information to go to. Of course my bailiwick is BKK, I am just not a big Pattaya fan, but I believe these RULES apply universally in the Land of Milk and Honey (Thailand). 

1) hotel proof your room before you go out. That means everything into the safe, in particular your wallet, passport and electronics. Do not bring your wallet, passport or credit/debit cards with you when you go out. Bring enough cash but not more than enough you can afford to lose. I have never been seriously ripped off even once in all these years (except taxi drivers and tuk-tuk drivers and then the amount was so small as to be meaningless) but you never know. I do like to drink so often I wind up in some pretty odd situations. One point is that it is OK to tip the doorman and even ask your lady you are bringing home to store her ID. I used to resist this but I think it is actually a good thing. 

2) Don't drink heavily when you are out mongering,  you tend to make poor choices. Get your girl and then drink. One night, many years ago, when I was "on a tear", I wound up in Baccara in Soi Cowboy. I tipped the mamasan and asked her, "Who do you recommend I bring home for the evening". She gave me several choices which I ignored. Instead, I barfined two young hotties who were oh so sweet and made many promises of what we do that night. I asked the mamasan if they were OK, she didn't answer, which was in itself an answer and she said something like "I recommend other lady". I soon found out why. Back at my room (Fraser Suites, Soi 11), one of them demanded some ridiculous amount of money and said they were not spending the night, and became incredibly difficult and argumentative (buzz kill). I began the process of throwing them out and then the hot one got on her phone and threatened to "call my boyfriend, he police". Fortunately, they had stored their IDs at the front desk. I grabbed the phone, called security and a man I knew came up, defused the situation and threw them out, but I did lose my barfines. That was probably the singular worst experience I ever had in decades of mongering and it stemmed from drinking too much whisky. 

3) A new day means a new girl. I am not in BKK to have a vacation GF, if that's your thing, so be it. It's certainly not mine. But when the dawn comes, they need to go. "You pay them to leave". 

4) Make friends with as many Thai ladies as you can. You use Line to communicate with them. Thai ladies can be great sources to meet other Thai ladies. Case in point: Some years ago I started dating a lovely I met on Thaicupid. After my trip we were talking on Line and she mentioned that she and her friend "go to Hong Kong to work in my friend's restaurant" which I immediately knew she was selling it on the side in HK. If your Thai lady makes trips to Hong Kong, that is almost certainly the reason. I didn't care, it was her business, and one day she finally admitted it to me. On one trip when I was going to be in BKK  she told me she had to go to Japan (that's where the big money is). But she introduced me to her friend and said she was OK with us going out. Her friend was fabulous, much hotter than my friend, and eventually turned into many threesomes together. 

5) Time is more valuable than money. Obviously this depends on how much money you have and how much time you have, but if I am in Thailand for 7 - 10 days, time is the rate-limiter and I treat it more preciously than funds. So I try to make good choices so as not to waste an evening. If I am on a date, if within 90 minutes it is not clear whether it will be a good date, it's "check please" and I cut my losses and implement plan B, whatever that is. 

6) Dress well, it will improve your experience. Don't wear shorts, a tank top and baseball cap. When I go out at night, it's nice pants, a nice shirt and nice shoes. Thai ladies prefer well dressed mongers. 

7) Painstakingly negotiate everything. If you are barfining a lady (or two or three), like any business deal, your moment of greatest leverage is before the barfine is paid. You make damn sure the terms of the evening are set including how long she will stay, what and what she will not do. 

8) Use condoms, no exceptions. 'Nuff said. I know it's tempting, but just don't. 

9) 6:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. is the dead time in Thailand for a monger, and an excellent time to do non-mongering things. When a lady does spend the night, I don't Touch her in the morning. As I age, I need to space out the sex time-wise to maintain my vigor. For younger guys, it's probably not a problem. 

10) Treat the ladies like a gentleman and they will reward you ten-fold. This is Thailand, karma is real here. 

She is one of my faves. A longtime GF and a non-PFP lady. Sweet as they come and a total nympho. She could make a sailor Blush. ;)

 

 

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Edited by JeremyS

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Dalef65

I gotta say, If you hadn't made the point that you've been to Thailand countless times, I probably wouldn't have guessed it from reading that.

A positive way of looking at the post is that it might be helpful to some guys with limited experience. But there are some things in there that should not be taken as gospel.

For example, Personally I'm not down with the painstakingly negotiate everything line of thinking. As always it depends on the situation, sometimes go with the flow works just fine.

With the slightly overblown title "mongering best practice" ,I gotta say the whole post is a little bit "Emperor's new clothes"..

 

Edited by Dalef65
Clarity

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JeremyS

Which is why I offered that as only my humble opinion and my "two satangs". 

And I agree with you, everyone does it differently, but that is a rough guide of what I've learned over many years of trial and error. 

Just trying to help the newbies. 

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fatfrank

Agree with # 6,#8 and #10 the rest are not for me.

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The Blue-Eyed Sheikh
1 hour ago, JeremyS said:

1) hotel proof your room before you go out. That means everything into the safe, in particular your wallet, passport and electronics. Do not bring your wallet, passport or credit/debit cards with you when you go out. Bring enough cash but not more than enough you can afford to lose. I have never been seriously ripped off even once in all these years (except taxi drivers and tuk-tuk drivers and then the amount was so small as to be meaningless) but you never know. I do like to drink so often I wind up in some pretty odd situations. One point is that it is OK to tip the doorman and even ask your lady you are bringing home to store her ID. I used to resist this but I think it is actually a good thing. 

Agree with this one. In fact, I've started bringing a second wallet on trips that I load up before I go out with only my money for the evening.

1 hour ago, JeremyS said:

2) Don't drink heavily when you are out mongering,  you tend to make poor choices. Get your girl and then drink. One night, many years ago, when I was "on a tear", I wound up in Baccara in Soi Cowboy. I tipped the mamasan and asked her, "Who do you recommend I bring home for the evening". She gave me several choices which I ignored. Instead, I barfined two young hotties who were oh so sweet and made many promises of what we do that night. I asked the mamasan if they were OK, she didn't answer, which was in itself an answer and she said something like "I recommend other lady". I soon found out why. Back at my room (Fraser Suites, Soi 11), one of them demanded some ridiculous amount of money and said they were not spending the night, and became incredibly difficult and argumentative (buzz kill). I began the process of throwing them out and then the hot one got on her phone and threatened to "call my boyfriend, he police". Fortunately, they had stored their IDs at the front desk. I grabbed the phone, called security and a man I knew came up, defused the situation and threw them out, but I did lose my barfines. That was probably the singular worst experience I ever had in decades of mongering and it stemmed from drinking too much whisky. 

This one too. I've never had a bad experience due to drink (and I've never had an experience like the one the OP describes), but I've found alcohol affects my performance more strongly than I'd like. 

1 hour ago, JeremyS said:

3) A new day means a new girl. I am not in BKK to have a vacation GF, if that's your thing, so be it. It's certainly not mine. But when the dawn comes, they need to go. "You pay them to leave". 

I disagree, but I would advise newbies to err in this direction (with the caveat in my comments on #10, below).

1 hour ago, JeremyS said:

4) Make friends with as many Thai ladies as you can. You use Line to communicate with them. Thai ladies can be great sources to meet other Thai ladies. Case in point: Some years ago I started dating a lovely I met on Thaicupid. After my trip we were talking on Line and she mentioned that she and her friend "go to Hong Kong to work in my friend's restaurant" which I immediately knew she was selling it on the side in HK. If your Thai lady makes trips to Hong Kong, that is almost certainly the reason. I didn't care, it was her business, and one day she finally admitted it to me. On one trip when I was going to be in BKK  she told me she had to go to Japan (that's where the big money is). But she introduced me to her friend and said she was OK with us going out. Her friend was fabulous, much hotter than my friend, and eventually turned into many threesomes together. 

I have had my regulars do a lot of the vetting for me when threesomes are in the mix; they understand what I'm looking for, and it helps avoid the "wait in bathroom / on balcony" that you can sometimes get.

1 hour ago, JeremyS said:

5) Time is more valuable than money. Obviously this depends on how much money you have and how much time you have, but if I am in Thailand for 7 - 10 days, time is the rate-limiter and I treat it more preciously than funds. So I try to make good choices so as not to waste an evening. If I am on a date, if within 90 minutes it is not clear whether it will be a good date, it's "check please" and I cut my losses and implement plan B, whatever that is. 

In total agreement here.

1 hour ago, JeremyS said:

6) Dress well, it will improve your experience. Don't wear shorts, a tank top and baseball cap. When I go out at night, it's nice pants, a nice shirt and nice shoes. Thai ladies prefer well dressed mongers. 

Agree here too - but make sure that you choose clothes that are comfortable in the Thai climate. Lightweight materials are imperative.

1 hour ago, JeremyS said:

7) Painstakingly negotiate everything. If you are barfining a lady (or two or three), like any business deal, your moment of greatest leverage is before the barfine is paid. You make damn sure the terms of the evening are set including how long she will stay, what and what she will not do. 

See my comments on #4.

1 hour ago, JeremyS said:

8) Use condoms, no exceptions. 'Nuff said. I know it's tempting, but just don't. 

Yes - but bring your own. Some of the condoms the girls have supplied on the occasions (mostly on the Six) when I have forgotten them are like having to have sex through an inner tube.

1 hour ago, JeremyS said:

9) 6:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. is the dead time in Thailand for a monger, and an excellent time to do non-mongering things. When a lady does spend the night, I don't Touch her in the morning. As I age, I need to space out the sex time-wise to maintain my vigor. For younger guys, it's probably not a problem. 

Disagree. I always have a go-round with the LT in the morning; as far as I am concerned, this is the primary point of a long-time barfine.

1 hour ago, JeremyS said:

10) Treat the ladies like a gentleman and they will reward you ten-fold. This is Thailand, karma is real here. 

True enough for the most part.

TB-ES

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keepitfun

9 and 10 for me otherwise .....   up to me.

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LeoTex
1 hour ago, JeremyS said:

 

6) Dress well, it will improve your experience. Don't wear shorts, a tank top and baseball cap. When I go out at night, it's nice pants, a nice shirt and nice shoes. Thai ladies prefer well dressed mongers. 

 

I can't agree with this on, IMHO it doesn't make that much difference.

As long as you're clean and what you wear is clean.

I do however send my baht out to the pressed and wrinkle free when going out.

LeoTex

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JeremyS

Great comments, thank you. Much appreciated. 

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dannydamn

This is a great list. Will keep this in mind for my first trip! Any recommendations on where to initially meet some thai girls?

 

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Dalef65
3 hours ago, dannydamn said:

 Any recommendations on where to initially meet some thai girls?

I recommend any bar in Pattaya. The possibilities are endless.

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iLoveit

Could not agree more with  8 and 10. 

     As I like farm fresh, about 10% of punts are not real good. However, follow up punts have been mind-blowing, whether they were the next day , week or months. If you treat the girls well, it does pay you back 10 fold. 

2 or 3 times a trip I will have a girl pop out of a bar or run over and try to BF them. It's always good to a have a solid back up if the days proceedings don't go according to plan!

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Piece Corp

Thanks for sharing your ideas.  Here’s my input:

I always avoid the mamasans, they’re just touts looking out for themselves.

I bar fine early, (8:30) when I’m sober and can have pick of the litter and will have a much better experience.  After short time I spend the rest of the night drinking while making mental notes on who I’m going to bar fine early the next night.

Dressing up makes good sense in Bangkok, doesn’t really matter in Pattaya.

Definitely agree with #8 & #10

Cheers

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Buttviking

Interesting thread, I think your best mongering practices are good advice and not far from my own style. Thanks for sharing.

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jed§
On 16/02/2020 at 17:43, JeremyS said:

they had stored their IDs at the front desk.

First, I haven't been to Thailand now for nearly 18 months, so this is my longest period of not going for 10 years. I can't put my finger on the reason, although I think I might know why (more later) but I'm not currently making any plans to go again, yet. I started using guest houses from 2011 because it gives me more freedom - I can make coffee in the morning etc. and some even have cooking in the room. I've only had one problem with not having anyone to call downstairs, and that was with an African freelancer.

I think your post is going to be a good one, Jeremy, and it should lead to a lot of discussion. Back to my possible reason for not planning another trip, yet. On my last 5 trips, maybe 6, but anyway every time I've been there since about 2013, I've suffered from debilitating and sometimes painful, stomach problems, and I've tried different ways of avoiding it, none of which have worked, apart from the meds you get in the pharmacies there, which work very, very quickly. And that worries me. Why? How? What's them? Are they doing me harm? 

So, Jeremy - my question to you is - how would you plan for that?

 

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Buddy Edgewood

Agree with everything except for #6.  As long as you're clean, don't smell bad, and have a pleasant personality, the only thing the girls are interested in is your baht.  Besides the likelihood of sweating more, thus leading you to become a smelly falang quickly, dressing up makes you a mark.  We could debate all day that dressing up leads to increased ST/LT cost quotes and tougher negotiations because dressing up implies that you're richer than the rest of us losers wearing shorts and sandals.  Plus, if you dress up, you're more likely to be hounded for LDs by every girl in the bar, especially the fat one with the crossed eyes, who will sit next to you and hold on to your arm like she owns you - because you so handsome and she's in love with you!

But hey, if dressing up makes you feel more confident about yourself, more power to ya.  Meanwhile, I'll get the same girls for the same price and be more comfortable while doing so.  :Whistle:

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JeremyS
On 17/02/2020 at 20:36, dannydamn said:

This is a great list. Will keep this in mind for my first trip! Any recommendations on where to initially meet some thai girls?

 

That very much depends on what you are looking for and what your goals are. Personally, I am not a beer bar fan, it's just not my thing. In fact, I am not a Pattaya guy, although I like it occasionally for a change of pace. For every minute I have spent in Pattaya or Jomtien (which I prefer to Pattaya), I've spent 19 minutes in BKK. I just like it better. 

My MO is to date non-p4p regular Thai girls in BKK and go to nice restaurants and rooftop bars at night. BKK has a fabulous restaurant scene which IMHO rivals any other city in the world. In fact, some of my favorite restaurants anywhere in the world are in BKK. There is nothing quite like meeting a beautiful Thai girl for the first time, taking her out to a lovely dinner, then a nice rooftop bar, and then more often than not, back to your hotel room. After a while, you will have a long list of beauties on Line to choose from when you are in town, but of course they come and go. I have even taken ladies outside of Thailand to travel with me and they make great travel companions. I meet most of them on dating sights like Thaicupid, ThaiFriendly and AsiaDating. 

During the day, I love massage parlors in which BKK has a much better scene than Pattaya, but Pattaya does have some MPs. I have a fairly up to date list of BKK MPs which I can post if anyone is interested. In massage parlors you can pick one, two, three or however many you can afford to take a nice soapy with. I also reserve nights where I just go to high end MPs like Poseidon or Utopia or wherever to drink, shoot pool, eat and then take a lady or two up to a theme room. 

Be careful, this is a highly addictive hobby and can have unintended consequences. Never underestimate the moxie of a Thai lady, in most ways they are far more attractive than their western sisters IMHO. 

Edited by JeremyS

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JeremyS
On 18/02/2020 at 01:41, jed§ said:

 

I think your post is going to be a good one, Jeremy, and it should lead to a lot of discussion. Back to my possible reason for not planning another trip, yet. On my last 5 trips, maybe 6, but anyway every time I've been there since about 2013, I've suffered from debilitating and sometimes painful, stomach problems, and I've tried different ways of avoiding it, none of which have worked, apart from the meds you get in the pharmacies there, which work very, very quickly. And that worries me. Why? How? What's them? Are they doing me harm? 

So, Jeremy - my question to you is - how would you plan for that?

I have only experienced terrible stomach problems twice in all my trips, and the first was something I picked up in India, which I used go to a lot on business and I always returned to BKK the first chance I got. The second was poorly cooked seafood in a restaurant near Soi 11 (Maxims) which Thais tell me is common problem there certain times of year. However, I agree with you, stomach problems are debilitating. I did find that Thai pharmacists gave me excellent antibiotics which cleared things up in 24 - 36 hours but nothing is worse than quarantining yourself in your hotel for a few days because you don't want to be more than 100 meters from a toilet. 

I am not a doctor but it sounds like something you are eating is affecting you. I doubt it's food poisoning each time as in general, I have found that doesn't happen often in Thailand. So maybe you have trouble with the spices in Thai food or something else. In your case, I would simply bring food from home and only eat that. That is a common practice among business travelers to India where a lot of the food is unhygienic. It's not fun because you have to return to your room to prepare a meal, but it's a hell of a lot better than suffering. 

Hope that helps. 

On 18/02/2020 at 01:41, jed§ said:

 

 

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K...

Do you have any time to enjoy yourself inbetween all of this?

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JeremyS

I enjoy every minute when I am in Thailand. It's my blissful place which lifts my spirits like no other place on earth. When we are circling over BKK before landing after a long and miserable flight, excitement swarms over me. Then comes the announcement during taxiing of "welcome to BKK". I have an APEC card (highly recommend this for traveling in Asia if you can get it) which allows me to go through the diplomat line (if you don't have it, you can a little extra and be escorted through the diplomat's line). Then comes the short but agonizing wait of getting your luggage, then through customs, down to departures in the bowels of the airport, and get the prepaid taxi to Sukh. Rd. while I am texting my friends that I am back.  Then the taxi hits Sukh. road and it always feels like a different universe full of earthly delights. I stop and think of all the fun I will have ...

Damn, I wish I was there now ... 

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T-Bone20
On 17/02/2020 at 21:36, dannydamn said:

This is a great list. Will keep this in mind for my first trip! Any recommendations on where to initially meet some thai girls?

 

They will be everywhere.  I suggest just walking around and visiting a bar or two on the first night.  You will find many willing partners.  Don't make plans and it will all work out, make plans and likely you will be frustrated.

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JeremyS
46 minutes ago, T-Bone20 said:

They will be everywhere.  I suggest just walking around and visiting a bar or two on the first night.  You will find many willing partners.  Don't make plans and it will all work out, make plans and likely you will be frustrated.

Well said! "The best laid plans of mice and mongers ..." Or something like that. 

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Greg_B
On 16/02/2020 at 11:43, JeremyS said:

4) Make friends with as many Thai ladies as you can. You use Line to communicate with them. Thai ladies can be great sources to meet other Thai ladies. Case in point: Some years ago I started dating a lovely I met on Thaicupid. After my trip we were talking on Line and she mentioned that she and her friend "go to Hong Kong to work in my friend's restaurant" which I immediately knew she was selling it on the side in HK. If your Thai lady makes trips to Hong Kong, that is almost certainly the reason. I didn't care, it was her business, and one day she finally admitted it to me. On one trip when I was going to be in BKK  she told me she had to go to Japan (that's where the big money is). But she introduced me to her friend and said she was OK with us going out. Her friend was fabulous, much hotter than my friend, and eventually turned into many threesomes together. 

6) Dress well, it will improve your experience. Don't wear shorts, a tank top and baseball cap. When I go out at night, it's nice pants, a nice shirt and nice shoes. Thai ladies prefer well dressed mongers. 

 

IMHO

#4. Be careful with a friendship as you probably haven't known her for long. It's not hard to meet other ladies in Pattaya or BKK. Trusting someone you just met is foolish and can have disappointing consequences.

#6. Seriously, I'm not going to a fashion show or church. I want to be comfortable and cargo shorts with a nice shirt is my choice of apparel. How else is she going to get her hands up my pant leg in the bar..?  I wear comfortable sandals and not a nice pair of shoes. I might have to walk more than expected and nicer shoes aren't that comfortable.

The ladies prefer someone who is clean, smells good, is dressed appropriately and has manners. 

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Chiefam

I’m going to take a completely different perspective to the original post, and whilst I don’t agree with everything there are some very valid points in there.  My more laid back advice, keep your head about you at all times, know where your cash and phone is....

 

Always check up front what is included in your LT... some will effectively want a ST but tell you it’s a LT (leaving at 3 or 4am).

 

dress code.... there isn’t one, but do make the effort to be presentable and the girls are likely to approach you differently.

 

mamasan in bars.... can be your best friend or your worst enemy!  Pick each option wisely... the good ones can be full of useful advice on their girls

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JeremyS
On 04/03/2020 at 10:16, Chiefam said:

mamasan in bars.... can be your best friend or your worst enemy!  Pick each option wisely... the good ones can be full of useful advice on their girls

I concur with this 100%. Getting to know good mamasans can pay dividends. I have had many find and recommend ladies for me that turned out to be golden. 

I had a great relationship with one, she ran a famous soapy in BKK. She of course had a lot of ladies on the website but she also had some that "were off the books", ladies who needed extra money but weren't on the website and just freelanced on occasion from the massage parlor. Some were students, office ladies and even married women and they often came from outside of BKK to make extra money. Sadly, the massage parlor closed down. 

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JeremyS

I am just going to post various things to this thread, old trip reports, etc. 

Here's a good Thailand story. So the aforementioned mamasan arranged to have a lady sent over to my hotel in BKK, which was The Presidential Solitaire on Soi 11. I told the doorman, whom I sort of knew, "my girlfriend is coming over, when she gets to the hotel, send her up to my room" and gave him the room number. Very officiously, he grabbed his clipboard and pen and asked, "Yes Sir, what is her name?"

Ummmm ... I had no clue what her name was and felt more than a little stupid. So I gathered my composure and thought to myself, who gives a fuck, I'm in Thailand. 

"No. 24," I answered. 

The man was dumbfounded, "What?"

"No. 24". He brought over another man and began speaking Thai to the man. 

"Yes, please tell us the name of your girlfriend."

"No. 24."

"Um, please to write?" And they handed me the clipboard and I wrote "24". 

Then a flash of understanding came over them, "Oh yes, we understand."

About 30 minutes later the phone rang, it was the doorman. "Khun Jeremy, Miss No. 24 arrived and is coming to see you."

 

That earned him a nice tip. 

 

 

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