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Explorer8939

TG Protocol for Sudden Death of a Relative

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deano4598
19 minutes ago, Explorer8939 said:

The question is her demeanor for the rest of the trip.

So you are really concerned for her feelings......not! All it appears you are concerned about is YOUR satisfaction for the rest of YOUR trip. Sad really.

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Explorer8939
7 minutes ago, deano4598 said:

So you are really concerned for her feelings......not! All it appears you are concerned about is YOUR satisfaction for the rest of YOUR trip. Sad really.

If you took a lady LLT for 2 weeks, and she bailed after a day, would you pay her for the 2 weeks?

This lady desperately needs the cash to pay her son’s Sinsod. Her feelings will be much worse if the wedding is canceled because she can’t pay the Sinsod.

My position is that I won’t pay her if she bails. Tell me I am wrong.

 

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deano4598
7 minutes ago, Explorer8939 said:

If you took a lady LLT for 2 weeks, and she bailed after a day, would you pay her for the 2 weeks?

This lady desperately needs the cash to pay her son’s Sinsod. Her feelings will be much worse if the wedding is canceled because she can’t pay the Sinsod.

My position is that I won’t pay her if she bails. Tell me I am wrong.

 

This thread was about a girl who's cousin has splattered himself all over Issan and she's upset. Just in your last post have you introduced the  "wedding" and "Sinsod" into the mix. o now perhaps we have the nub of it.

So she is relying on the Baht from being with you for her Son's Sinsod. And she is torn between staying and getting paid and leaving with no money for the funeral. 

Still all you care about is how your holiday goes from here??? I find that a bit heartless even though you say you sent 5000 to the family for the funeral.

I think you could have given us all the true picture at the start of this thread. 

I would give her some money, perhaps not all, and send her on her way to the funeral, Plenty of poontang In Vietnam to console you.

Next time perhaps consider telling the full picture in the OP

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Explorer8939
11 minutes ago, deano4598 said:

This thread was about a girl who's cousin has splattered himself all over Issan and she's upset. Just in your last post have you introduced the  "wedding" and "Sinsod" into the mix. o now perhaps we have the nub of it.

So she is relying on the Baht from being with you for her Son's Sinsod. And she is torn between staying and getting paid and leaving with no money for the funeral. 

Still all you care about is how your holiday goes from here??? I find that a bit heartless even though you say you sent 5000 to the family for the funeral.

I think you could have given us all the true picture at the start of this thread. 

I would give her some money, perhaps not all, and send her on her way to the funeral, Plenty of poontang In Vietnam to console you.

Next time perhaps consider telling the full picture in the OP


Every bargirl needs loads of money. My TG also needs 30,000 baht for a debt of her mother, plus monthly maintenance of the family, plus her son is always short of cash. If I gave her “some” money, and sent her on her way, she would be totally screwed. She can’t make money back in the village, and her employment prospects in Pattaya are marginal. I did her a big favor, over the long haul.

So, if a LLT bails on you after 1 day, rather than give her the full amount, you would send her on her way with “some” money. Okay. I would pay 2000 baht for one day, plus pay for her ticket. Obviously, that wouldn’t work in my current situation. But, you answered the question for a “normal” TG who has a death in the family, and wants to go back to Thailand for the funeral.

My last point is that it is important to hold the line on “emergencies” with a TG, because they have them all the time. With huge families, there are always funerals, or sick relatives, or gee, her uncle doesn’t have a key to the house and she has the only one. 
 

BTW, it’s not just a trip to Vietnam, there is a cruise out of Singapore, Business Class flights, this is a long planned trip.
 


 

Edited by Explorer8939

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Jebb

I had a friend (Thai) who recently lost her father. Apart from the 3 day mourning period where she was expected to feed and entertain all the family, friends, neighbours and balloon chasers I also found out from her that in Thai culture there is another Memorial/wake 100 days after the funeral so more money required to feed the mourners and "Rent a crowd" who attend. She is married to one of my best mates and I gave them 5,000 bht toward the costs as it was a huge financial burden for them as nobody else on the family had any serious money. Anyone else heard of this?

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deano4598
29 minutes ago, Explorer8939 said:

BTW, it’s not just a trip to Vietnam, there is a cruise out of Singapore, Business Class flights, this is a long planned trip.

More newly revealed info on the story. FFS is this a "pick your own adventure" soap opera?

In answer to the post above by @Jebb I would wonder what actually happens during these events where there are no rich (read Farang into that as well as rellies) people to contribute? My guess is they get on with it at the budget they have and where there is a rich person around, will gouge them for a free piss-up.

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Jebb
5 minutes ago, deano4598 said:

More newly revealed info on the story. FFS is this a "pick your own adventure" soap opera?

In answer to the post above by @Jebb I would wonder what actually happens during these events where there are no rich (read Farang into that as well as rellies) people to contribute? My guess is they get on with it at the budget they have and where there is a rich person around, will gouge them for a free piss-up.

Absolutely correct Deano, she was expected to hold the can for everything. None of the ne'er do well brothers did a thing.

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Explorer8939
10 minutes ago, deano4598 said:

More newly revealed info on the story. FFS is this a "pick your own adventure" soap opera?

In answer to the post above by @Jebb I would wonder what actually happens during these events where there are no rich (read Farang into that as well as rellies) people to contribute? My guess is they get on with it at the budget they have and where there is a rich person around, will gouge them for a free piss-up.

Relatives are supposed to help pay for the funeral. I suspect money is borrowed, as well.

As for leaving stuff out of the story, those are called "extraneous details". The gist of the story is that a TG on a LLT that was long and expensive had a death in her extended family, while she was overseas. 

 

Edited by Explorer8939

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Explorer8939
1 minute ago, Jebb said:

Absolutely correct Deano, she was expected to hold the can for everything. None of the ne'er do well brothers did a thing.

In the case of the specific TG, her parents are underemployed, her sister contributes nothing, her brother less, her son nothing, so she is the only breadwinner in the family.

 

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Justaguy1954
1 hour ago, deano4598 said:

This thread was about a girl who's cousin has splattered himself all over Issan and she's upset. Just in your last post have you introduced the  "wedding" and "Sinsod" into the mix. o now perhaps we have the nub of it.

So she is relying on the Baht from being with you for her Son's Sinsod. And she is torn between staying and getting paid and leaving with no money for the funeral. 

Still all you care about is how your holiday goes from here??? I find that a bit heartless even though you say you sent 5000 to the family for the funeral.

I think you could have given us all the true picture at the start of this thread. 

I would give her some money, perhaps not all, and send her on her way to the funeral, Plenty of poontang In Vietnam to console you.

Next time perhaps consider telling the full picture in the OP

I think he may have also left out the fact that this LLT is actually his live-in-girlfriend discussed in other threads...

As with many of the OP's threads, I doubt reality matches the story being posted here....

Just an opinion...

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semi-retired member
2 hours ago, Jebb said:

I had a friend (Thai) who recently lost her father. Apart from the 3 day mourning period where she was expected to feed and entertain all the family, friends, neighbours and balloon chasers I also found out from her that in Thai culture there is another Memorial/wake 100 days after the funeral so more money required to feed the mourners and "Rent a crowd" who attend. She is married to one of my best mates and I gave them 5,000 bht toward the costs as it was a huge financial burden for them as nobody else on the family had any serious money. Anyone else heard of this?

Yes, apart from the funeral itself, for my late father-in-law, there were also further religious-events after 100 days.

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bukone
On 16/01/2020 at 14:53, Explorer8939 said:

My TG friend has done nothing but cry since yesterday.  Of course, she cries when a minor character in a movie is killed off, so it’s not unexpected.

If she cries for more than a week, I will have to go to Plan B.

I am checking Facebook to see if her relatives around Isaan are going to the village for the funeral. So far, they are just posting sad faces.

The funeral allegedly started yesterday, right after the accident, and will continue for 2 or 3 days.

The accident scene was posted on Facebook, the typical country road, the truck went off the road at 90 degrees (?), evidentially smashing into a tree on the drivers side. No skid marks on the road, at least not near the impact site. All I can imagine is there was a cow in the road, the driver swerved, but didn’t hit the brakes. No drivers side airbag that I could see.
 

if the driver was drunk or asleep, the truck would not have been perpendicular to the road, that took active steering.

Give her some baht to travel back for the funeral, if her bar won’t let her go then move to another bar, or job.

anywhere in Thailand is with 2 hours by flight, or overnight on bus, you will gain a bit of respect (no not face :) ) 

then you can bang something else while she’s away, by the way a funeral can last up to a week.

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Pheat
4 hours ago, Jebb said:

I had a friend (Thai) who recently lost her father. Apart from the 3 day mourning period where she was expected to feed and entertain all the family, friends, neighbours and balloon chasers I also found out from her that in Thai culture there is another Memorial/wake 100 days after the funeral so more money required to feed the mourners and "Rent a crowd" who attend. She is married to one of my best mates and I gave them 5,000 bht toward the costs as it was a huge financial burden for them as nobody else on the family had any serious money. Anyone else heard of this?

Yep 100 day’s after the death and then another 1 year after the death not so important to attend but donations  will be gratefully accepted for the party after the monks have departed.

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Explorer8939
32 minutes ago, bukone said:

Give her some baht to travel back for the funeral, if her bar won’t let her go then move to another bar, or job.

anywhere in Thailand is with 2 hours by flight, or overnight on bus, you will gain a bit of respect (no not face :) ) 

then you can bang something else while she’s away, by the way a funeral can last up to a week.

On a plane from Ho Chi Minh to Danang now. I believe the requirement to attend the funeral does not include people in other countries.

More to the point, I have invested some $3000 in the rest of the trip. Would you bail on that?

Let me guess: the guys that complain if a ladydrink goes up 10 baht are going to tell me to write off the $3000.

Edited by Explorer8939

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ludwighigh

It's a tough situation.

It's only for a subset of jobs in the west that there is such a thing as bereavement pay.  Otherwise, if you don't work, you don't get paid.

I don't know whether it is worth finding out whether or not it is required or appropriate that she has to go.  If she wants to go, that's the end of that.  You will have a miserable time if she stays with you anyway if she didn't want to be there.  If you tell her she is not supposed to go based on you understanding of Thai cultural norms, etc... sounds like a losing argument to me.

At the same time, I don't think I would feel obligated to pay for the full two weeks.  Maybe something for her time so far and a little more, and a plane ticket home (which is probably even more money out of pocket because of the change in plans) and that's it.  In my opinion you are not responsible for making things right on both ends.  Why does it matter to you what she needed the money for?  Maybe they can negotiate down the sinsod money to make up for her lost income.

Since you travel a lot and I assume have a considerable network, I wonder if you can get someone else as a replacement to fly out and meet you on short notice.  To me that seems like the best way to avoid the trip being a total loss.

 

Edited by ludwighigh

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Mr_wimpy
6 hours ago, Explorer8939 said:

To sum up:

i am with a TG on a 2 week trip abroad. She desperately needs the money to pay for her son’s Sinsod for his upcoming wedding. Her cousin suddenly died, and there is a big funeral back in the village. Yesterday, she broke down and asked to return to Thailand. I told her, sure, but she won’t get her Sinsod money.

She has cash to pay for an airline ticket home.

Meanwhile, her family is asking if she will return to the village. She has been crying for the last 24 hours.

After our conversation, she fell asleep. When she woke up, she was more or less normal.

Last night, we drank a bunch of Bailey’s, and she seemed normal. 
 

i sent the family 5,000 baht to help pay for the funeral.

My feeling is that, if the deceased is not immediate family, TGs are not required to return from overseas for the funeral. By the time she got a flight, and then took the overnight bus, the minivan and the moto back to the village, the funeral is going to be over, anyway.

The question is her demeanor for the rest of the trip.

 

How do you know how close the girl was to the cousin?  Just because her other cousins are not attending the funeral from your "facebook research" means nothing.

If she says she wants to go home and say goodbye to a family member, I don't think it's something you can call her bluff on.  You're basically holding the poor girl to ransom.

I wouldn't want that on my fucking conscience.  Pay her proportionally for the time you've already spent with her and let her go home.

Edited by Mr_wimpy

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Explorer8939
27 minutes ago, Mr_wimpy said:

 

How do you know how close the girl was to the cousin?  Just because her other cousins are not attending the funeral from your "facebook research" means nothing.

If she says she wants to go home and say goodbye to a family member, I don't think it's something you can call her bluff on.  You're basically holding the poor girl to ransom.

I wouldn't want that on my fucking conscience.  Pay her proportionally for the time you've already spent with her and let her go home.

You're missing the point: she is free to leave anytime, but she needs the money from working the next 2 weeks.

Her "ask" was a plane ticket home, plus the money for the next 2 weeks.

 

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theshu25

Gee,can this Op find some dramas or what?. I just find it funny how each and  every reply there is a bit more to the story. Nothing is ever as it seems .

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briguy

Have to admit, if I was taking a girl LLT to Singapore, she would definitely be good looking enough to be able to make money in Pattaya!

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Explorer8939
28 minutes ago, theshu25 said:

Gee,can this Op find some dramas or what?. I just find it funny how each and  every reply there is a bit more to the story. Nothing is ever as it seems .

The first post was accurate. I intentionally left out a lot of details.

The lady had a death in the family at the beginning of a long planned vacation. She needs the money for working 2 weeks, so her "ask" was a plane ticket home plus 2 weeks salary.

Meanwhile, I booked 2 weeks of travel, none of which can be used for a replacement lady. 

So, she wanted me to eat $3000 of travel expenses, plus pay her for 2 weeks of sitting at home, because her relative died suddenly.

Ever get a break from a Bargirl like that?

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Explorer8939
Just now, briguy said:

Have to admit, if I was taking a girl LLT to Singapore, she would definitely be good looking enough to be able to make money in Pattaya!

The problem is she has to make the money quickly. And customers are not a sure thing. 

She may find herself doing things to make money that she doesn't like at all.

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Tuna Town
1 hour ago, Explorer8939 said:

The problem is she has to make the money quickly. And customers are not a sure thing. 

She may find herself doing things to make money that she doesn't like at all.

FFS

This is a Thai hooker you are talking about.Let her sort her own problems out.

How exactly are her difficulties in life yours to embrace and why are you being such a Simp to her ??

You pay her for sex and company

Don't forget that

You are on a Trip meant to be enjoying yourself and you are letting a rice farmers daughter drag you down with her drama.

You should have sent her home days ago and started Fucking other girls

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Machinations

Had one LT who lost her nan. She went back home and after 3 days she came back to work. Other than that, no idea what happened. I was home at the time, so I just sent her my condolences.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

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bukone
4 hours ago, Explorer8939 said:

On a plane from Ho Chi Minh to Danang now. I believe the requirement to attend the funeral does not include people in other countries.

More to the point, I have invested some $3000 in the rest of the trip. Would you bail on that?

Let me guess: the guys that complain if a ladydrink goes up 10 baht are going to tell me to write off the $3000.

No fair call, I had my in-laws out in Australia and mum in law mother passed, I said I will change ticket and you can go back tomorrow, she said no I want to stay but asked me to find a temple, so she could go pray, which I happily did for her

when it comes to loved ones I don’t think about money, but understand yours and mine are different situations 

Edited by bukone

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