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QuotaMan

One in five men have no friends as loneliness epidemic leaves hundreds of thousands living in isolation

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Fufu308

some very good points raised by people contributing.  I think its safe to say that when we are young are 'friends group' is much larger with a mixture of all sorts of personalities  and with some you may not share common interests in.  But as we grow older our friends group seem to naturally get alot smaller, due to a number of reasons such as relocating for jobs, meeting partners and having kids etc.

As we age it is also harder to find others within a similar age range who also share common interests as alot of my peers are married with kids etc and usually they socialise with other friends who are also married with kids such as kids birthday parties etc.  I also agree what others have highlighted about married women controlling their partners and not liking them hanging out with single guys which i cannot understand as for guys if it was the other way round we really wouldn't care if they wives were to hang out with their single friends.

With this board we all have a common theme of our love for pattaya and that already is a foundation of a starting point.  I think for my next trip I will be more pro active in meeting others from the monthly groups that are setup as I've always wanted to but never get around to.

I've made some new friends through running, we occasionally enter some running events and meetup for a beer now and then it certainly helps and i recommend others to find a hobby they can partake in with others.  At least that will keep you going until the next trip to LOS where we can truly be ourselves without judgement  :D

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Warren Buffets son

Thanks to the OP for posting this and all the interesting comments, many of which I agree with completely.

Here are a few thoughts and some ideas of what to do about the problem:

Women are better at it partly because they make more of an effort to build friendships

My deepest and best friendships have been with women. Thats why I've tried to have something on the side, and if one ends, then i find a new friend with benefits.

Volunteering can help. I find something Im interested in and volunteer my time and I keep trying until I find a group I enjoy being with. Its like the enjoyable parts of work but without most of the bad bits and without the pay.

I try to be friendly, jolly, reasonably well presented and humourous and from this I find both men and women don't mind hanging around me.

My plan is to not stop trying to form new friendships as being isolated can be bad enough when relatively fit but at some point during the aging process we're all going to be long term ill. This will be seriously no fun if I'm stuck in a house by myself.

Pattaya is good for chatting to women and men in bars, I cant imagine making great friends there though unless i actually lived there.

I'd be interested to hear everybody elses ideas about how to keep building a network of friends.
 

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dingbat22

My best friend is "Pattaya" and through Pattaya I have many aquintances 

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manni2011
On 30/09/2019 at 17:07, Mr_wimpy said:

Feel a bit sorry for you mate.  

I’ve noticed your group of mates seem to filter out the older you get for various reasons.  In a way though think that’s better because you get closer to the ones left and you know they’ve got your back and vice versa.

Not sure of your situation.  But if it’s as miserable as you say why don’t you pack your bags and take a step into the unknown?  Doesn’t sound like you’ve got much to lose.

I would say he doesn’t even need to go as far as the unknown.  Go to a gym, a park, a library, cooking class etc etc. Get out of your home and take part in an activity that appeals to you, maybe even a few that don’t entirely appeal. Sitting in your home alone waiting for your next trip to Pattaya is no way to live your life. Get off the couch and seek new experiences, the friends will follow. 

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james 71

Times have changed now we have become very insular as a society,I see so many people just walk straight past you without so much as a hello or good morning,when I say it some people are shocked and reply others just keep walking.so why can't we all just say hello to someone we don't know ,it's a start 

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Mr_wimpy
6 hours ago, manni2011 said:

Go to a gym, a park, a library, cooking class etc etc.

the friends will follow. 

I agree.  But where does the OP go if he wants normal friends? 

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Mr_wimpy
1 hour ago, rob63 said:

Yeah,,,,normal friends drink, eat junk food and f*ck hookers all day!   (sarcasm alert... I couldn't resist)

Mine do :)

gym - meet people like @taylor1975 (sorry mate)

Park - if you don’t have a dog and just start talking to random people, that’s just weird

Library - who you gonna meet there.  Not even allowed to talk

Cooking class - aunty bessy people

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rogdtm

An interesting post, I will own up to being lonely, and like a lot of other guys it has been kind of forced on me by living in a very rural area, without any bus service ,and for the last 9 years a carer in a loveless marriage. I get two breaks a year, which I take in Pattaya, having found it a few years ago,it just about keeps me sane and I am aware that some carers dont even get that. I use this forum to keep up to date with Pattaya ,and it helps a lot, when my circumstances change, which will happen, I plan to move to thailand, just visiting and having the idea of moving there keeps the spark alive.

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jed§
12 hours ago, Warren Buffets son said:

I'd be interested to hear everybody elses ideas about how to keep building a network of friends.

For anyone, not only you, Warren. Your volunteering idea is a good one and doing that for a parkrun is one of those. It means you can go for a coffee afterwards with the rest of the volunteers and some of the runners and you also get to chat to people before, during and after the run. There are parkruns all over the UK and in other parts of the world.

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T-Bone 12

Great topic. I can appreciate what you are saying as i live alone and spend a lot of time on my own which i enjoy and don't feel lonely. I also would say i'm lucky where i have 7-8 great friends and many many close acquaintances and this is all due to how was i brought up. Still great friends with a lot of school friends. Still friends with all my cricket and football teammates. Now i'm obsessed with golf and i'm apart of many golfing fraternities and we travel everywhere playing it. I also do boxing/fitness twice a week with 2 different groups. Now what i'm saying everything i have stated can be done by anyone and you meet like minded people. Join clubs in what floats your boat or join fitness clubs. Some people want to be alone  

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JerryBenStiller

T-Bone is right

Sitting at home and feeling sorry for oneself doesn't really work. 

Of course it is difficult to just go up to strangers and start chatting, but then again;  stay at home every weekend and see how difficult that can get. 

The numbers don't lie. 

Others are lonely as welll

The good thing about this is that you don't have to go in with high expectations of making a best friend. Just strike up a conversation with one person per week and that will keep you going. Some of the best conversations I have had were with strangers who I will never see again. But we chatted just like old friends for a few minutes.

It's only difficult when you go in with high expectations, and you're disappointed so much that you don't want to try again. Just say hi and smile. Expect nothing in return, then anything you get is a bonus.

Maybe I am just a gloomy old duck but I live my life as a negative, and any positive interaction I have brings me into the light 

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gazza83

Best thing is to probably join a club, when I moved to Ireland I knew no one except my partner, I joined a local football club (at the time I was semi fit) so it helped with my fitness and the lads would always go for a beer afterwards.

if you cant do this, due to age or fitness, join a gym maybe, you'll always meet people at the gym, it gets you off your chair, burn a few calories, gets the endorphins' racing too. 

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james 71

You must get out and about every day and go to a bar and watch a sports event ,and everyone has a opinion give them yours ,go a few times and people will recognise you and hopefully invite you over to watch the game

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ex-pat
On 14/01/2020 at 04:23, Warren Buffets son said:

My plan is to not stop trying to form new friendships as being isolated can be bad enough when relatively fit but at some point during the aging process we're all going to be long term ill. This will be seriously no fun if I'm stuck in a house by myself.

You might be lucky and die from a heart attack getting a BJ in a massage shop like happens here from time to time. :09:

On a more serious note, these days, what are the odds someone you hook up with now is gonna take care of you if that happens?

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RandyJohnson

many men continue with extremely abusive relations out of fear of being alone.

It's great to be alone.

it's wonderful to view some poor dude getting chewed out in the shopping mall (not for schadenfreude -  because its not me...)

I have many multi day LTs - and such great memories of fun happy women...

this trip not even one overnight...paying them to leave is the best invention. and select another from the ThiaFriendly menu next day.

Seems worse for latest generation - staring at their screens - and nothing else.

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Warren Buffets son
20 minutes ago, ex-pat said:

You might be lucky and die from a heart attack getting a BJ in a massage shop like happens here from time to time. :09:

On a more serious note, these days, what are the odds someone you hook up with now is gonna take care of you if that happens?

I agree think its unlikely someones going to be taking care of you, but thats not what I'm saying.

I'm saying you can find friends now because you can go out and meet people but that might not always be the case. And if you do become ill then the friends you've made plus your family are going to be the ones coming to visit you. If a friend of mine was seriously ill i wouldn't volunteer to take care of them but i would go round to their place and see how they are.

Dying mid-BJ sounds like a great way to go.

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