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webDev

Dealing with the Money Request / Hint of Financial Distress phases

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webDev

From reading another thread it sounds like some of you guys don't ever get this from the girls. Congrats, you're doing something right and I'm curious how you maintain it.

For those of us who do, how do you deal with it in an elegant way?

What I tend to do is just ignore them. I go cold if the girl steers the Line conversation towards money problems. It sort of works in the short term but also gets a lot of girls to delete me, probably a mix of seeing reduced money potential and being offended at being ignored especially during a somewhat exposed conversation.

Not completely rational on their side as I'm still a reliable customer, but this is women we're dealing with.

If anyone has a better way of keeping them in good spirits without sending stipends please share. Or more generally if you're good at being "the non-sponsor customer that she somewhat enjoys" that would be valuable advice too.

PS: This thread isn't about relationships as that is its own thing, just regular long term girls you want to stay in contact with.

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Dalef65

To put this in a bit of perspective,in a way this works on the same principle as going in a Gogo bar. Sooner or late a girl is gonna come along and ask for a drink. It is what it is.

Collecting loads of LINE addresses and having chats with them from afar is going to have the same sort of result (with few exceptions) in that sooner or later a girl will feel entitled to ask for money. Especially if she feels she's providing you with a service.

So how to deal with it in an elegant manner is probably not to be having the conversation in the first place. 

If you insist on  sitting in your home country bored and possibly lonely and then having what you describe as "somewhat exposed" conversations  with these girls, it's not unreasonable for them to hint/ask/expect some sort of financial contribution....:bj9:

That's taking up her time, and by your own admission, she isn't your girlfriend.If she's doing this caper with everyone she meets in Pattaya, she would never have time to do anything else.

Ok yes, she has the option of refusing, but then you know that, and that's why you get deleted by some of them.

You describe this as irrational, but for me it is the inability to see it from the other side that is veering towards irrationality.

The solution is probably to be much more selective in who you are talking to and what you are talking about, rather than having unrealistic expectations of human behaviour.

 

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Explorer8939

Maintaining contact means you only message them about logistics. If they send you a canned message like "I miss you", respond with a sticker.

If they ping you for money, ignore them.

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keepitfun

I tend not to bother in between visits so I guess my approach is to avoid the possibility.

It takes all of five minutes to find an acceptable root after check-in.

 

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worldpunter

What I say when get requests for money/ sponsor is tell the truth 

I am sponsoring a now ten years old girl through school in Cambodia .no relationship to me , although have met her briefly couple of times .Have pics to prove if Ness.

I find tg understand the poverty these neighbors live with , although they are not so friendly towards them 

I have been doing this 3 years now , it's very satisfying ,a no strings financial help knowing I did my bit to help 

Thai people live in luxury compared to what I

have seen in Cambodia and I tell them that 

They don't ask again 

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GoodMan555

These girls are not IBM, Apple Computer, or McKinsey & Company, doing customer appreciation days for free.  Heck, even these companies aim for "more business" when talking to you, that's why they call their marketing departments "business DEVELOPMENT" departments.

I don't stay in Touch with the girls if I am not willing to send money and not willing to get involved in a relationship.  I deal with my own loneliness without burdening an already-over-burdened girl with it.  I've learned over time to enjoy some solitude and to fill my time at home with people at home.

 

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Explorer8939

If you are so lonely at home that you must talk with the ladies, be prepared to send money.

i work all day at home, and don’t take my phone with me. Solves that problem.

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RRosenberg

Not really answering your question per say (others have posted adequate responses) however what I will say is this:-

I've kept in contact with a few of the girls I've met. Only one so far has asked for money but that's beside the point. FYI I drop hints when I meet them in person that I don't/won't sponsor ever and that I'm not looking for marriage etc etc.

Back to my point.

After keeping daily contact with some (both messaging and videos) one day it hit me. Why am I doing this? As I said, I've got no intentions of sponsoring or marriage etc. Then I thought about it some more. In the short time I've known some of these girls, some have gone back home and one has a sponsor so is now working "on the side" aka in secret.

Other than potentially meeting them again at some point in the future it dawned on me that keeping in contact is futile for the sole reason they are basically "transient workers". Here today, gone tomorrow type deal. 

Thus, staying in contact doesn't really make sense because for all you know, next time you visit they could be back home, married, sponsored, travelling etc.

If you want to keep their contacts, fine. But it's best to not bother and should you return in the future, you can always look them up through the many different channels available to you.

P.S. it's worth keeping in mind that those messages asking for money are probably sent whilst she's in comfortable in bed, next to a  sleeping customer that she's just serviced. Very few of these money requests are actually genuine. It's a numbers game. If she asks 10 people to send money, chances are 1-2 probably will and if that causes her to lose the other 8 - so be it.

Edited by RRosenberg

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per anum

This is what a local SIM is there for......comon dude!

Once you land in LOS, load up the SIM and start making contact. When you are departing LOS, remove the SIM and store it.

I go back home to my family so the last thing I want is to romance hookers from thousands of miles. 

As we so lonely and abandoned at home that we need to stay in Touch with hookers on social media and by phone?  

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NorCalKid

I don't keep in contact with too many.  But when I have one I see regularly were obviously on LINE.  10+ years mongering in Pattaya and I don't think I have had one directly ask me for money when in the States.  Usually just asking when I come back.  

As a guy that does 90% ST I don't think it's as big of an issue.  Regulars know they can call me and I'll see them once or twice a week when in town.  But neither of us are really pretending it's something it's not.  

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webDev

Like you guys I do see most of them as sex providers. Some of them I consider as lite-friends. Not to the level of a male friend, but not some distant service provider.

I suppose that does make things harder in such a transient environment.

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RRosenberg
23 minutes ago, webDev said:

Some of them I consider as lite-friends. Not to the level of a male friend, but not some distant service provider.

Just be honest with yourself and with them about what you want. I consider one as a "friend" solely because I enjoy spending time with her outside of sex so I will hit her up to go party or "go to xyz" with me like friends would do.

But that's only because I explained my feelings and when we do go out or whatever, I don't pay her for her time as in "I want to party tonight I'll give you X to go with me all night" type thing.

Like I said just be honest about your intentions as in the beginning she thought it was going to be a normal BF/GF type deal until I had to explain no we are friends.

Now it's pretty cool tho as she knows what type of things I like in women and will get them for me whilst we are out lol.

Edited by RRosenberg

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Explorer8939
10 minutes ago, RRosenberg said:

Just be honest with yourself and with them about what you want. I consider one as a "friend" solely because I enjoy spending time with her outside of sex so I will hit her up to go party or "go to xyz" with me like friends would do.

But that's only because I explained my feelings and when we do go out or whatever, I don't pay her for her time as in "I want to party tonight I'll give you X to go with me all night" type thing.

Like I said just be honest about your intentions as in the beginning she thought it was going to be a normal BF/GF type deal until I had to explain no we are friends.

Now it's pretty cool tho as she knows what type of things I like in women and will get them for me whilst we are out lol.

This doesn’t sound right.

A bar girl’s brain is like a Taxi meter, they generally spend their time outside the bar looking for customers after work (unless they are with their Teerak). 

Unless there is something else going on, they are going to want to just go out for free for the purpose of partying with a Farang.

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RRosenberg
1 minute ago, Explorer8939 said:

This doesn’t sound right.

A bar girl’s brain is like a Taxi meter, they generally spend their time outside the bar looking for customers after work (unless they are with their Teerak). 

Unless there is something else going on, they are going to want to just go out for free for the purpose of partying with a Farang.

She was a freelancer. One thing I've noticed tho is that she seems to pick and choose who she goes with more so than the average freelancer and she's fine going days without a "customer". This lead me to believe that she was sponsored but I've asked multiple times and she's denied each time so you can take that how you like, however I don't think she's lying as I've tested her multiple times since I've known her by asking questions I already know the answers to and she's always answered truthfully.

If you note I did say that in the beginning she thought it perhaps would have lead to BF/GF type deal but I quickly explained otherwise.

I've gone out with her multiple times and gone home with other girls and I've made it clear to her that I have no issue with her looking for work whilst she's out with me.

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bozza

If you stay in Touch ,as I have done before ,it's just a matter of time before the begging starts . I like to play a game of spot the con before it comes ,one girl went on about how she was ill ,and was going the doctor ,she even sent me pictures of the drugs she had . Then a day later I got " I can't work I'm too ill but need money " , that didn't work .

Sent from my ONEPLUS A5000 using Tapatalk

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Harry Brown

You will still get requests but they will slowly learn not to ask.

When I find a regular ( good performer) that I add to LINE, 

Never call her Telack. 

Tell her you can be a very good customer but not a boyfriend.

Tell her it's ok to have other customers and not to pin hopes on you but you can have fun while on holiday.

Tell her that you are not rich and only have small money.

Tell her when holiday money is gone you have to work, same as she does.

Then tell her you can LTT her when on holiday.

When she calls you when you're back home , she will ask for help for this and that , you just have to tell her (calmly) you have no money to spare.

They eventually understand or disappear either way a win for you.

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runner

If you have at least a 5 minute conversation with a Thai lady she will either directly or indirectly ask you for money.

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GoodMan555
2 hours ago, runner said:

If you have at least a 5 minute conversation with a Thai lady she will either directly or indirectly ask you for money.

LOL, so true.  The immediate/reflex answer to "How are you?" is "Not good."  

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K...

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happymonkey

Girls, women, ladies... we should respect these words and not use them for all kind of... I don’t know what. Our mothers, sisters, our school friends... How can we use the same words for those...I don’t really know how to name them. Let’s respect the words, lets respect the people who deserve to be respected. 

 

 

Edited by happymonkey

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thailand

I remove line once I leave. I've added them on facebook before and had girls with Soi 6 profile pictures posting things on my wall for everyone to see. After that I made a "thailand facebook" to add any I might want to contact once I am back on the ground. You might get an i miss you or when you come back message from time to time but it's mostly no contact until making plans. 

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ben nevis
7 hours ago, Harry Brown said:

You will still get requests but they will slowly learn not to ask.

When I find a regular ( good performer) that I add to LINE, 

Never call her Telack. 

Tell her you can be a very good customer but not a boyfriend.

Tell her it's ok to have other customers and not to pin hopes on you but you can have fun while on holiday.

Tell her that you are not rich and only have small money.

Tell her when holiday money is gone you have to work, same as she does.

Then tell her you can LTT her when on holiday.

When she calls you when you're back home , she will ask for help for this and that , you just have to tell her (calmly) you have no money to spare.

They eventually understand or disappear either way a win for you.

Very good advice on this subject.Only one thing is when you try to explain that you have little money not many believe you.At times you can go blue in the face saying you have to save up to get here and work for a living.Are well such is life.

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Dalef65

 

1 hour ago, ben nevis said:

Very good advice on this subject.Only one thing is when you try to explain that you have little money not many believe you.At times you can go blue in the face saying you have to save up to get here and work for a living.Are well such is life.

Getting into discussions with the girls about how much (or how little) money you have, is something that doesn't usually work, from what I can see.

They look at us as a bunch of people who can afford to spend big money (to them) on airline tickets to fly halfway round the world for a couple of weeks, and when we get there we  are happily paying over inflated (in their eyes) prices for food and buying drinks for all and sundry.

She grew up in an Issaan village where here parents and grandparents can survive on 10K Baht a month or less, but she sees holiday makers plough through that amount of money every night.

 

Best not to have the discussion if at all possible..:)

 

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Ziplee

Two ways I deal with it. I say No Have to all request.

TG: I sick, need money for doctor

me: No have

TG: you hab

me: No have

TG: You hab from work at home

me: No have

TG: Please teelak me very sick

me: No have

etc, etc. They will either stop asking for awhile or delete you. If they delete you, then you just weeded out a TG that likes your money more than you. If they like you or very smart, they will wait and might try again later. Then you start the same No Have routine again. 

Second way. If you have a second phone, that you only use in Thailand. Turn it off as soon as you send your last goodbye messages. I usually do this in the taxi to the Airport. 

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Bwfc1987

I would give her a wonderful deal. I would tell her that i encounter this trick a lot of times and loaning money is my expertise. The girl must reveal all her personal details and must have a guarantor. She would need to pay me back the interest every month. Either she signed the deal to have the money or say goodbye. Don't be lighthearted and give in to their demand.

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