Do Thai Bar Girls Really Prefer Thai Men?

[PartyHardy]

I'm not trying to put any argument across. I just posted some observations and I'm interested in other thoughts and experiences on the subject.

 

lol ok. good post though. not much to say here then. would be more interesting if there was something to argue

 

everything in your original post is spot on and right on point

[fostraswift]

top post as usual doc

[ydraw]

Language and Communication is #1, but what also should be considered is security.

 

Prostitution is a dangerous industry and police in Thailand are obviously not there to help. Who does a 40kg bargirl turn to for help if something happens? What good would a farang boyfriend be if a girl got into some kind of trouble? No matter what the story was, it would be him against 100 thais.

 

For a girl living and working in Pattaya a Farang boyfriend is basically useless except for his wallet. A Thai boyfriend with a few connections could actually offer her some real protection if need be.

[mito]

Nearly all girls living and working in Pattaya have a thai boyfriend before.

 

Depending on the history, they will decide between Farang or Thai.

 

Many are not even able for a realtionship.

[Billy Baht]

At the end of the day women wana talk and be listened to. How many of us are truly fluent in Thai?

 

The security angle is a good take as well. Most Thai guys can make a few calls and almost instantly have 10 or more buddies to back them up. How many farangs can do that?

[Boneysun]

I think the language is not the most important thing for them. The culture must be the point. It's much more difficult them to accept liviving with someone who has not the same vision of families andd stuff. The occidental vision and the oriental one are really different.

[td5855]

i think that a man trying to figure out what a woman thinks is equal to a monkey thinking about what a cat thinks... never will be able to figure it out.... :Drink4:

 

Naw....it's not as simple as that.......

 

It's what a cat thinks the kitty litter is saying about "Fermats Last Theorem" To the goldfish who met Roger Rabbits mate who had a bucket over his head and was looking Pail.

 

See its as straight forward, clear and as simple as that??

[MAIJING]

Put the boot on the other foot. If you were a fit young twenty year old male, would you rather be with a poor 60 year old Thai female, or a wealthy (by Thai standards, anyway) 60 year old Falang female, who could give you a better lifestyle than you would otherwise have?

[willhaz74]

i always remember reading what someone said on this forum, thai for love falang for money,,,,,,,,

[Eddie9]

Very nice post

[walesbkk]

[awinkl]

Of course Thai women like Thai men. When you are referring to Thai women who have entered the Farang orientated P4P scene in places like Pattaya the situation can get more complicated though........

 

A very well written and explained piece Thank you Dr Winston.

 

Some of these observations would also apply to the regular "western" situations?? And are not mutually exclusive to the P4P scene in LOS.

[ragthai]

I have some thai friends that are not in the bar scene.

Some of them wont marry a thai guy.

They say they rather live alone than have a thai husband.

And the reason for that is simple.

They have seen so many relations gone bad after the marriage.

Husband start drinking heavily,quits job, etc. etc

[MAIJING]

I have some thai friends that are not in the bar scene.

Some of them wont marry a thai guy.

They say they rather live alone than have a thai husband.

And the reason for that is simple.

They have seen so many relations gone bad after the marriage.

Husband start drinking heavily,quits job, etc. etc

 

 

Of course, they think that Western society is so vastly different! My own opinion, for what it is worth, is that apart from the cachet of being married to a Falang, they hope to escape the culture of violence, that is so often evident in Thai marriages.

[PhuketPete]

In my experience, lots of Japanese girls really would love a gaikokujin husband. But language and culture are sticking points. They desire a man who is not a slave to the company and will help out with kids and housework. More and more men are learning this but the power of the company is very strong with regard to overtime work, lame vacation schedules, and the duty to go out with the boss or superiors.

Yes, agreed.

 

Obviously in Japan, economic issues are not really a concern.

 

bolly

IMHO, not true. The power of the almighty dollar (ie. the husband to earn big bucks) remains at the forefront of the Japanese psyche. That is why we see many Japanese women marry Japanese men for the financial security, and then having affairs with foreign guys. Yet even saying that, I'd postulate that given a choice between a rich local and a rich gaijin, the women would still choose the Japanese. Why? They could continue indulging in their exotic flings on the side, with far fewer risks (language, cultural, financial and otherwise). My 2c.

[PhuketPete]

Thanks for the insight. I've always had this thing about Japanese women, next time I meet an attractive one I'll be sure to play down my work life.

I wouldn't. Hard work is respected and admired, just the slave part isn't.

[Angelo]

I agree that it mostly boils down to wanting to be with someone they can actually communicate and relate to. The middle class to hi-so chicks want Thai men because they can actually get good Thai men and their family expects them to find a good one. The lower class ones, especially with kids, know they're not going to find a decent Thai guy to take care of them and treat them right.

 

Keep in mind though... while many Thai P4P girls, especially in Phuket have Thai boyfriends, many will say they do even if they don't because they don't want to go LT. It sounds better to say they have a Thai boyfriend than to say, "look, I just want to fuck your ugly ass once then come back here and find another punter and I don't feel like hearing you snore and smell your hot breath all night", lol.

[bigguy]

My understanding of the situation is that BG's /GGG's prefer Thai men the majority of the time. I think this is because no matter how hard a farang tries he will never understand the culture, and therefore the lady like a Thai man can. A lot of the time these girls have Thai BF's that treat them like absolute shit and they still go back to them no matter how bad they treat them. Even when they have sponsors and the opportunity to have so much more they will run back to the Thai BF.

 

I agree with your analysis of women in your last trip report Karl, that is that women like to go with the 'bad boys' because although a lot of the time they cause them heartache and pain, a woman would rather be feeling emotions such as jealousy and anger as opposed to being in a run of the mill relationship with a boring guy.

 

Although it is a bit of a stereotype on forums such as this that Thai men are invariably controlling with their women and violent at times, I think that it is on the whole true and because of this the lure of being with a farang (which have the reputation of being less violent and more affluent) is enough to make these girls want to have a relationship with one rather than being involved with a violent drunk.

Another stereotype (don't know how much though, there seems to be some truth to it) is that abused children will end up in an abusive relationship. If that is true, it would explain why these girls that have been brainwashed by their mothers into thinking that they are commodities that should sustain their families (including drunk and useless brothers) would look for a relationship that furtehr exploits them. Bingo, here comes the typical Thai man. just like the father, the brother and the cousin. Maybe if mothers did not push their daughters into prostitution, Thai BGs would be a different breed. But then would there be any Thai Bgs?

I can not understand a society that makes such a big difference between the daughter (walking ATM for the family) and the mother (a saint to be worshiped) Hmmmmm, that mother was once a daughter, right? Interesting thought .........

[dingdong]

THAI MEN HAVE SMALL DICKS SO I THINK MOST THAI GIRLS WOULD WANT BOYFRIEND FALANG.....I KNOW FOR A FACT TOO THAT MOST THAI MEN ARE CUNTS WHO DEFINATELY MISTREAT THEIR WOMAN TAKE THEIR CASH GAMBLE IT ,GET DRUNK COME HOME BEAT THEM AND GO BUTTERFLY ALL THE TIME,,IVE SEEN IT AND IVE LIVED UP COUNTRY AND SEEN THE THAI MEN BEHAVE THE WAY THEY DO,,IVE SEEN MY WIFES BROTHER DO IT,,IVE SEEN HER UNCLES DO IT,,MOST THAI MEN ARE CUNTS IN MY BOOK..NOT ALL FALANG ARE ANGELS EITHER BY THE WAY DONT GET ME WRONG...FAR FROM IT!!! BUT HEY I CANNOT STOP BUTTERFLY WHEN I STAY IN PATTS

[Band1t]

The way I picture it is this.

 

Bar Girls, given the region they come from, are the dole scum/chavs/red necks/hill billies.

In UK/Irish terms, you're talking about big gold hoopy earrings and an accent you could cut glass with.

 

Thai guys can pick that out in two seconds flat from their accents, the words they use, the way they dress etc.

Sure they can go to Bangkok, study hard, flatten out the accent, dress differently but that's a tough choice to make, alot of effort to put in, and no matter what they'll still be a fish out of water. The further you go from where you're from the more difficult it is for people to pick out your past from small cues. The girl from nowhere Arkansas waitressing in New York is just another country hick, in London she's interesting.

 

With farangs the baggage is simply that they're from Thailand, within that they can be anything and nobody in farang country can tell the difference.

The Bar Girl might like Thai guys, but the sort of Thai Guy she's likely to end up with isn't exactly catch of the day.

Mr Farang might not be top of the list, but it's top of what she can get.

[Dr.Winston]

The way I picture it is this.

 

Bar Girls, given the region they come from, are the dole scum/chavs/red necks/hill billies.

In UK/Irish terms, you're talking about big gold hoopy earrings and an accent you could cut glass with.

 

Thai guys can pick that out in two seconds flat from their accents, the words they use, the way they dress etc.

Sure they can go to Bangkok, study hard, flatten out the accent, dress differently but that's a tough choice to make, alot of effort to put in, and no matter what they'll still be a fish out of water. The further you go from where you're from the more difficult it is for people to pick out your past from small cues. The girl from nowhere Arkansas waitressing in New York is just another country hick, in London she's interesting.

 

With farangs the baggage is simply that they're from Thailand, within that they can be anything and nobody in farang country can tell the difference.

The Bar Girl might like Thai guys, but the sort of Thai Guy she's likely to end up with isn't exactly catch of the day.

Mr Farang might not be top of the list, but it's top of what she can get.

I like this response, it really fits in with my own theory about the Thai guys not really accepting them once they have worked in the P4P industry, just approached from a different line of thought. Interesting

[probe]

Thanks to the Dr. for his well thought out and written post(s) and to the many others.

 

In Pattaya there are a large number of Thais, both male and female, that you might consider as coming from the wrong side of the tracks. Maybe they finished the sixth grade and have the emotional development of a 14 year old when they hit town. They grow up fast here in some ways, but they're still unworldly in many others. Some come and go very quickly, some learn to survive.

 

There are all kinds of relationships between the Thai guys and girls: friend, brother, "same" brother, gik, boyfriend, husband, etc., many of which have been mentioned. Why wouldn't there be? Girls work bar, go out to Thai karaokes, discos and bars, meet guys who romance them a little and before long she's supporting him, at least partially. She's selling herself at work, he's selling himself and they have a lot in common. None of their career prospects are very bright.

 

She knows "Thai man can not take care me", but he makes her feel more at home here. The farang is her meal ticket. How well can she juggle the two? Some are very good and have multiple arrangements going, others aren't so good at it and get caught. Leaving a girlfriend here alone is not a good idea. Even if you're together here full time there are plenty of opportunities for her to "go see friend" for a few hours.

 

Some percentage obviously embrace farang culture and settle down with one. I wonder how small that percentage is?

Edited July 8, 2009 by probe

[Ajay75]

I know a girl pretty well on Soi 6 and we often have a good chat about the girls in her bar and whats been going on. This girl works in one of the better bars on the soi and its got a decent selection of lookers. She told me that about 70% of the girls would finish work each day and then go spunk their money in Thai karaoke bars picking up young Thai guys to shag.

 

She thought they were crazy and just wasting all their money. I stay on Soi Bukahow and theres quite a big karaoke bar just down from Liquid Lounge. We sat opposite in a street restaurant one night around 2am in just watched who would go in. The amount of ladyboys, fit and not so fit Thai girls and the odd farang was unbelievable. These places are probably more expensive for Thais than for us to goto a gogo. I guess for some Thai's in patts its their only release away from farangs, which is fair enough but it was a bit of an eyeopener for me.

[sinclair1969]

Any Thai girl or woman will prefer a man who is nice to her and who loves her and who takes care of her.

 

And who is faithful to her.

 

Nationality is hardly the distinguishing factor, except in case there is a serious language barrier.

 

It is true that we all have stereotypes of certain groups of people, based on nationality, social standing and education and so on. These stereotypes will often be an initial hindrance and make it difficult for people to get together and understand each other. Many Thai girls and women will think that they cannot communicate with a foreigner and for this reason they may shy away.

[bocelli27]

If Thai girls really do prefer Thai men, then it looks like they have something in common with German men.