Be very careful with your condom - women inseminating themselves.

[gmoule]

jeez how paranoid are you theres shitloads of people who would just bareback her without a condom

[gustafo15]

I'm literally having to wipe away the tears as I type this. Fucking brilliant thread.

i'm the same

 

what an absolute load of cock....

[OMB]

This is going on everywhere? I blame the Catholics.

 

[brvk]

Good one to remember

[_wazza]

Lmao , so funny. When learning about condoms at school was told the lube inside them can also kill sperm, not certain all brands do the same.

 

 

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[6853395]

Lmao , so funny. When learning about condoms at school was told the lube inside them can also kill sperm, not certain all brands do the same.

You're referring to Nonoxynol-9, which was widely discontinued due to health concerns:

 

[muldoon]

Not so much Clouseau...more like Don Quixote, tilting at toilet-roll holders 555!

 

Ah, when the imagination runs wild....

 

Funny stuff Ruay

 

                 

[misteregg]

This thread made my day. Thank you.

[pregnantladyboy]

OP, did you pick up the toilet roll holder and inspect it? Bear in mind: the last person who touched it may have had a dump and just used the remaining toilet paper on it before leaving it there. Therefore the toilet paper holder may have been coated in faecal bacteria.

 

(Yes I'm playing on your evidently severe neurosis )

[bbbz]

I know a fellow patriot who says and thinks American sperm is cherished the world over.

What clueless bastard he is.

[pregnantladyboy]

That should be my new username.

 

Sperminator - terminating sperm by turning the condom inside out, and rinsing it with hot water.

 

Condoms come with spermicide. Rinsing it off will have the opposite effect.

[jerry]

Condoms come with spermicide. Rinsing it off will have the opposite effect.

 

That was after using it ...  . 

[dashi]

FFS!

[DaffyDuck]

This is hilarious!

 

Tip: I always tie a knot into my condom before disposing of it. Makes for some hilarious comments from the girls.

[skorp]

On 05/01/2017 at 7:12 AM, Nando9999 said:

too much effort, she could go get any of a thousand blokes to shoot a load up her without basters

55555555555555555555++++

[chirockr]

Fair warning & great read. 

Now a word from our sponsors...

[dude26]

don't smile !  after sex i put some water in my condom , and some dried food when i came back 3 months later i found that :   

becareful . 

[jim888lu]

Definitely something to be careful about! Good warning.


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[huobo]

Bring your own condoms, always and flush it after

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[robbo1100]

Not sure if this was a serious post or not but it made me laugh

[Explorer8939]

On 2/10/2017 at 05:16, _wazza said:

Lmao , so funny. When learning about condoms at school was told the lube inside them can also kill sperm, not certain all brands do the same.

 

 

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There is a magical substance that effectively kills sperm in a condom, it’s called “air”.

i once had a Mexican lady take a used condom and try to stick the sperm inside her when she thought I was sleeping.

[Justaguy1954]

44 minutes ago, Explorer8939 said:

There is a magical substance that effectively kills sperm in a condom, it’s called “air”.

i once had a Mexican lady take a used condom and try to stick the sperm inside her when she thought I was sleeping.

 

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-can-sperm-live-outside-the-body#sperm-near-the-body

Can you get pregnant if there’s semen near the vagina?

Yes. You can get pregnant if the sperm is near the vagina and it has not dried. You may have heard that oxygen kills sperm. This isn’t true. Sperm can move until it’s dried. For example, you may think you aren’t at risk for pregnancy if you have unprotected anal sex. Fresh sperm might leak and stay near the vaginal opening. If it stays moist, it could make its way up the vagina and through the cervix into the uterus to fertilize the egg.

[Explorer8939]

3 minutes ago, Justaguy1954 said:

 

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-can-sperm-live-outside-the-body#sperm-near-the-body

Can you get pregnant if there’s semen near the vagina?

Yes. You can get pregnant if the sperm is near the vagina and it has not dried. You may have heard that oxygen kills sperm. This isn’t true. Sperm can move until it’s dried. For example, you may think you aren’t at risk for pregnancy if you have unprotected anal sex. Fresh sperm might leak and stay near the vaginal opening. If it stays moist, it could make its way up the vagina and through the cervix into the uterus to fertilize the egg.

Sperm that is exposed to air dries almost instantly. I don't know of any cases where a lady got pregnant from anal sex, the example above is your classic Internet wisdom.

Having said that, I once was dry humping a Mexican virgin and shot outside her vagina. Within 10 days, she missed her period, and was furious with me, claiming that my sperm could have migrated over her body and into her vagina.  In other words, I would be responsible for a virgin birth.

[Justaguy1954]

5 minutes ago, Explorer8939 said:

Sperm that is exposed to air dries almost instantly. I don't know of any cases where a lady got pregnant from anal sex, the example above is your classic Internet wisdom.

Having said that, I once was dry humping a Mexican virgin and shot outside her vagina. Within 10 days, she missed her period, and was furious with me, claiming that my sperm could have migrated over her body and into her vagina.  In other words, I would be responsible for a virgin birth.

Perhaps you should read the entire web page. If you did, you would see that "Internet Wisdom" is a health site supported by actual doctors.

I know, I know, it doesn't agree with your view of the world, therefor it must be false. Not different here than all the garbage you spew on this site. 

You are the God and know-er of all things. I am starting to see that. I bow in your presence.... 

[Explorer8939]

7 minutes ago, Justaguy1954 said:

Perhaps you should read the entire web page. If you did, you would see that "Internet Wisdom" is a health site supported by actual doctors.

I know, I know, it doesn't agree with your view of the world, therefor it must be false. Not different here than all the garbage you spew on this site. 

You are the God and know-er of all things. I am starting to see that. I bow in your presence.... 

It's a semantic issue. You are arguing that air does not kill sperm, that only moist sperm is viable, and dry sperm is not. I am suggesting that air kills sperm by drying it on contact. Sure, if it's a big wad of sperm, some of it may not dry for some time, since air cannot get inside the stuff to dry it all out for some time.