Bad At Any Price

[Evil Penevil]

I started a thread a few months ago on restaurants in Pattaya where you can eat good farang food under 300 baht.  It was quite well received, so I thought I'd push the envelope a bit and start a thread about restaurants which have served me really bad or inedible food in Pattaya.  Farang and Thai food at any sort of restaurant or street stall will be eligible as "hall of shame" candidates.

 

While this thread can serve a useful purpose, I fully realize there is a huge risk of abuse by trolls and others with a grudge against a restaurant owner.  If the thread becomes too silly or obnoxious, I'll simply chalk it up as an experiment that failed and ask the mods to close or delete it.

 

One point has to be emphasized:  even good restaurants can serve a bad dish. One bad dish doesn't make the restaurant "bad" as a whole.  Sometimes bad, even inedible, dishes get served due to a mistake or carelessness.  It's one of those things that shouldn't happen but occasionally does. In other cases, the dish is bad because all the food the restaurant serves is unacceptable.  That's when it's a bad dish from a bad restaurant.

 

 

I'll kick things off with an example that shouldn't prove controversial: the beef noodle soup from the Boat Restaurant on 2nd Road near Pattaya Tai.  I can't imagine that anyone who has their taste buds intact would think it anything but bad.  The only positive point is that cost only 60 baht and I didn't get sick from a mouthful of broth.

 

 

The broth tasted off and meat had a very odd color and texture for beef.

 

 

The Boat closes relatively early and lets in its last guests for the evening around 8.00 p.m. and I made it just under the wire.  That I was the final customer for the day may have had something to do with the bad bowl of soup. 

 

 

The appearance of the fat on the meat kind of creeped me out.

 

 

It should have been rendered more if the meat had been slow cooked for a long time, as would be expected with that sort of soup.

 

 

One mouthful was enough to tell me I didn't want more.  I chek binned and left almost immediately.  The waiter didn't bat an eyelid.  

 

I pondered for a moment what sort of customer could like the Boat's beef noodle soup.  The only one I could come up with was Melvin, the Toxic Avenger, who eats peanut-butter-and-Draino sandwiches.

 

 

Seriously, I have read that scientific studies have shown heavy smokers sometimes lose the ability to sense bitter taste due to the deformation of their taste buds. Bitterness is the primary taste that warns when food is potentially poisonous or at least bad to eat.  So Toxie and two-pack-a-day smokers might find the Boat's beef noodle soup to be acceptable.

 

 

Standard disclaimer: one bad dish does not necessarily imply that other food served by the restaurant would also be bad.  The Boat Restaurant is one of the oldest restaurants in town, dating back to the 1970s, I believe.  It couldn't have survived all those years by only serving bad food.  However, from what I've seen (and I pass the Boat several times a day), its customer base is almost entirely farang with a sprinkling of Thai female companions who've been dragged along.  It's only a guess, but I'd say the extremely cheap prices are the main attraction of the Boat.  When prices are very low and profit margins razor-thin, food that should have been tossed sometimes gets served.

 

 

That said, the Boat Bakery turns out good products, including custom-made birthday cakes.

 

OK, time to get off the Boat.  I invite other BMs to offer their examples of really bad dishes. Keep in mind it should be BAD to the point you can't eat it, not just a dish you didn't like.  Moreover, it should be the taste, flavor and to some extent the appearance that makes the dish bad.  Portion size, value for money, sullen service, etc., shouldn't become decisive factors.  It should be a recent meal, not an ancient atrocity story that dates back many years.

 

Just to give some indication:  I have rarely had a bad meal in Pattaya.  I've a number that weren't very good, mediocre at best, but only a few that were bad under the definition I'm using for this thread. I am absolutely not saying inedible restaurant food is common in Pattaya.

 

Fire away, but do so accurately and at appropriate targets. It can be the most expensive restaurant in the city or the simplest street cart.  As long as you got something in your mouth you wanted to spit rather than swallow, then the place is a fair subject for a post in this thread. 

 

Evil

[boxershrimp]

I don't want to kill the spirit in which you started the thread, and fact is that I once got a good pad krapow gai there. But...

Kiss Food on the corner of 2nd and Soi Diana is basicallly the #1 target here.

 

Edit: Oh, and I once had a breakfast at Boat that wasn't atrocious. As you no doubt agree, one has to challenge one's preconceptions once in a while.

[Evil Penevil]

I don't want to kill the spirit in which you started the thread, and fact is that I once got a good pad krapow gai there. But...

Kiss Food on the corner of 2nd and Soi Diana is basicallly the #1 target here.

 

Edit: Oh, and I once had a breakfast at Boat that wasn't atrocious. As you no doubt agree, one has to challenge one's preconceptions once in a while.

 

I find that encouraging and your good experience at Boat adds balance to the thread.  As I said, one bad dish doesn't make the restaurant bad, although I am a bit surprised Boat would cock up a staple dish like beef noodle soup.

 

By way of illustration: Noma in Copenhagen, which had been named the best restaurant in the world in 2010, 2011, and 2012, had 63 diners fall victim to the norovirus (aka vomiting bug) in one night in 2013.  Noma fell to #2 that year and regained the #1 ranking in 2014.

 

Thank you for posting.

 

Evil

[fatjack1]

Hard to think of any real horrible places.  I guess they pretty much close shop if they suck that bad.  On Boat I recently bought a birthday cake there and it was OK.  

[Thai1onjohn]

keep up the good work on bad food......

[Tarl]

Looks like pork in that dish. Looks much the same as they make in the villages. I am not a fan either. Maybe a better thread on dishes rather than restaurants. This place may prouduce some great dishes other thsn this one.

[eanto]

This could open a can of worms but my BF would probably like that

[padfoot]

A few years ago the girl I was with ordered some somtam from a street vendor. After one bite she tossed it in the trash, saying it was no good. There were no other vendors around and no one else was eating this guys food. It was a lesson on street food. If no one else eating there, go some where else.

[SoftPorn]

There is a Finnish gh/hotel restaurant in soi 8 Smilers bar which used to do most of their food in advance, then just nuke it hot. I really understand that something can be done like that, but last time I ate there they even microwaved the spaghetti in spahetti bolognese (and I waited for the food over 30min) I thought it went bit too far. This was 3-4 years ago, Not sure if they still do it like that. Some of my friends like to eat there so I guess they do something well, but I never had anything good there yet so I done trying.

[semi-retired member]

We used to eat in Boat in the old days, there were also branches in Chiang Mai (near CMU) & Hat Yai, it was all run by the same extended-family I was told.

 

It was always cheap-and-cheerful, basic farang & Thai food, for people on-a-budget or who weren't fussy, but standards & expectations have risen and even many guesthouse-rooms have a fridge & TV & cable these days, the same goes for food, whereas Boat is still what it always was.

 

Haven't eaten in one for several years now, I too have moved-on, and am no-longer quite the backpacker-at-heart that I was thirty years ago !

[Pattaya_Brian]

I've had quit a few bad meals in Pattaya but none that fit the criteria of this thread.

 

I ate at The Boat once (Thai food) and thought it was pretty tasty. It was definitely very cheap.

 

Interesting that they close at 8pm. Odd in fact.

[geezerrb]

I agree every establishment can have a "bad day", I do eat from carts and some "outlets" advised by friends and other BM's but that does not always work out. On my last trip my LLT wanted a steak and I admit I went CC and took her to a well recommended restaurant on this forum, it was a disaster, I tried to save face or maybe my CC came out and ate all my steak but my LLT barely ate 3 mouthful's.

[boxershrimp]

I find that encouraging and your good experience at Boat adds balance to the thread.  As I said, one bad dish doesn't make the restaurant bad, although I am a bit surprised Boat would cock up a staple dish like beef noodle soup.

Ah, well, I'm a little too reluctant to provide negative feedback. Fact is that I've had about 3 terrible meals at Boat and one adequate.

 

As for Kiss, it's more like ~10 crappy ones and one quite good. (Don't know what happened there, must have been a temp cooking.)

[jpp]

Went to the Diana Inn on Soi Diana and ordered a steak. A good steak should be rested 5 minutes before serving. From ordering the food to it been put down in front of me on a hot skillet was 5 minutes, when I cut a piece off it was completely raw inside, not rare, raw.

 

Sent it back to be done properly and the waitress gave me a contemptuous look when she brought it back over. Was cooked this time but was tough as old boots anyway. Never been near the place again. 

[SoftPorn]

Apex hotel breakfast buffet, worst breakfast I've ever had.

Lek hotel allmost as bad.

Sawasdee hotel breakfast buffet in soi buakhao (not sure if I got the name right) 3rd spot on this worst of the worst list

[K...]

Sawasdee hotel breakfast buffet in soi buakhao (not sure if I got the name right) 3rd spot on this worst of the worst list

Yep, I stayed there for 2 months and must of only had my free breakfast about 3 times.

[insider]

I will nominate a place on 2nd road called Aroy-Dee opposite side to soi 8 alley, specifically I nominate their ham and mushroom pizza.

It was thin, slimy, tongue burningly hot in places while being cold in other places, with a crust that could cut your gums. Trying to eat this floppy mess was a real effort, you pick up a slice the topping slips right of, sauce and all, the texture as I mention was slimy and the whole thing reminded me of the worst frozen pizza base with a thin cheap sauce put on top and a couple of sliced mushrooms and cold processed ham, I resorted to a knife and fork in an attempt to eat it but barely managed a slice before asking for the cheque

[stubby]

The pork bolognese at boat is ok but i too tried the beef/noodle and found it revolting,horrible fatty beef of sorts.

[sltdehyeres]

Kiss on jomtien 2nd rd is a place to avoid.

I ordered a shrimp fried rice and a pork fried rice was served. Called the waitress to complain, she gave me an weird look but brought the dish back in the kitchen.

She came back 3 mn later with the same goodam' plate where they took 3/4 of the potk out and put 4 little uncooked shrimp on top. Raw shinny translucent shrimps !

As i was eating i still found pieces of pork under the rice.

I don't understand why this place is always jammed with farangs and their thai gf.

Save time and money if you're in the neighborhood and eat at the night market just next door!!

[Saddic]

Apex hotel breakfast buffet, worst breakfast I've ever had.

Lek hotel allmost as bad.

Sawasdee hotel breakfast buffet in soi buakhao (not sure if I got the name right) 3rd spot on this worst of the worst list

 

gotta agree here...  yet people eat it... go figure...

 

I've eaten at boat bakery, usually acceptable when in a hurry on the way to WS... Must have been an off day...

[Evil Penevil]

The pork bolognese at boat is ok but i too tried the beef/noodle and found it revolting,horrible fatty beef of sorts.

 

 Which sort, that's the question!

 

Seriously,  I'm not trying to slag the Boat Restaurant.  It can happen that a restaurant will have one horrible dish on the menu but the rest will be OK.  The opposite is also true- one excellent dish, the rest bad.

 

When I lived in NYC, there was a small cafe that served fantastic ribs but everything else was awful.  Explanation was an older man who was an expert on traditional southern BBQ did the ribs, his daughter the rest of the cooking.  He knew his stuff, she didn't.  Eventually they closed the cafe and opened a take-away rib place which prospered.

 

Evil

[boxershrimp]

I will nominate a place on 2nd road called Aroy-Dee opposite side to soi 8 alley, specifically I nominate their ham and mushroom pizza.

It was thin, slimy, tongue burningly hot in places while being cold in other places, with a crust that could cut your gums. Trying to eat this floppy mess was a real effort, you pick up a slice the topping slips right of, sauce and all, the texture as I mention was slimy and the whole thing reminded me of the worst frozen pizza base with a thin cheap sauce put on top and a couple of sliced mushrooms and cold processed ham, I resorted to a knife and fork in an attempt to eat it but barely managed a slice before asking for the cheque

I've had a couple of decent thai meals there, though. Maybe a little too adjusted for what they think farang taste is, but not bad. The older ladies who worked service most of the times I've been there were real sweethearts, and certainly up for a joke or three.

 

Never tried the pizza, so you may very well be right about that.

[insider]

I've had a couple of decent thai meals there, though. Maybe a little too adjusted for what they think farang taste is, but not bad. The older ladies who worked service most of the times I've been there were real sweethearts, and certainly up for a joke or three.

 

Never tried the pizza, so you may very well be right about that.

Yeah, the lady servers were very nice and friendly, smiled when ever eye contact was made and the food on the table next to me looked decent, it was why I sat down, by the way the place to the left of it had some good food,

[Evil Penevil]

I began this thread with a tinge of  trepidation as I worried it could get very silly, very fast and I'd have to request the mods to lock it. That DIDN'T happen; the comments have remained quite sensible.  Well done!
 
It seems like the Toxic Avenger beef noodle soup - only for those who have burned out their taste buds- is sticking to the top of the "Bad at Any Price" list.  It doesn't appear to have many rivals.  That's in sharp contrast to the "Under 300 Baht" where many  BMs had suggestions for good places to eat.  
 
It's just one more bit of evidence that when it comes to food, Pattaya isn't bad at all.
 
Evil

[boxershrimp]

I began this thread with a tinge of  trepidation as I worried it could get very silly, very fast and I'd have to request the mods to lock it. That DIDN'T happen; the comments have remained quite sensible.  Well done!

 

It seems like the Toxic Avenger beef noodle soup - only for those who have burned out their taste buds- is sticking to the top of the "Bad at Any Price" list.  It doesn't appear to have many rivals.  That's in sharp contrast to the "Under 300 Baht" where many  BMs had suggestions for good places to eat.  

 

It's just one more bit of evidence that when it comes to food, Pattaya isn't bad at all.

Well, you know... I struggle to remember any meals in that town that satisfy the criterium for the thread. Sure I've had a few rather poor meals, but since they were so cheap, I'll have to say the overall bang for the buck wasn't terrible.

 

Closest for me is said Kiss Food. Crap ingredients cooked in a bland way, sold for more money than they should be allowed to charge for stuff like that.

It's only because of the location that they can get away with their bullshit. On the other hand, it's not exactly an expensive place, now is it?