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How much do you Wai? (sic)


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This is not another fat farang topic. I'm curious about the wai, the Thai greeting of putting your hands up to your face.

 

I've read a chunk of literature discussing different levels of status in Thai society and who and who doesn't get a wai. As an Aussie, I don't think much of status but my choice to wai has more to do with who I feel comfortable wai-ing.

 

To me, it's like a handshake. I don't shake everyone's hand even if they'd want to shake mine. That's my style for better or worse. Some do, I won't.

 

But in most circumstances, I do shake peoples' hand as we do in Australia. So for me, it also feels right to wai Thais that I would like to shake hands with. The manager of the hotel yes, the monk yes, the greeter at the restaurant no. A bar girl in her bar no. A bar girl after a toe curling orgasm yes :D

 

So how much do you wai?

 

 

As much as possible. Don't care if I'm doing it wrong- I always get a ton of smiles when I do it.

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  • 4 months later...
This is not another fat farang topic. I'm curious about the wai, the Thai greeting of putting your hands up to your face.

 

I've read a chunk of literature discussing different levels of status in Thai society and who and who doesn't get a wai. As an Aussie, I don't think much of status but my choice to wai has more to do with who I feel comfortable wai-ing.

 

To me, it's like a handshake. I don't shake everyone's hand even if they'd want to shake mine. That's my style for better or worse. Some do, I won't.

 

But in most circumstances, I do shake peoples' hand as we do in Australia. So for me, it also feels right to wai Thais that I would like to shake hands with. The manager of the hotel yes, the monk yes, the greeter at the restaurant no. A bar girl in her bar no. A bar girl after a toe curling orgasm yes :D

 

So how much do you wai?

 

You should never initiate a wai with someone obviously younger than you (but still an adult), though you can return their wai...unless it's a child. Do not wai children!! It looks very silly to Thais. To return a child's wai simply nod your head.

 

You should never wai someone in a service position: food vendor, taxi driver, restaurant greeter, BAR GIRL. DO NOT wai bar girls!! It is wrong because of your social status relative to theirs. You may not like that fact being an "egalitarian" Westerner, but that's just the way it is here. Nod your head to return a bar girl or other service person's wai.

 

It is okay to wai bar or restaurant owners. It is okay to wai people obviously older than you. It is definitely okay (and sometimes advisable) to wai policemen and other people in authority.

 

ratchada

Edited by ratchada
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Have never wai'ed anyone but know the 3 different types. Havent really wanted to but have seen farang wai'ing toilet attendants etc WTF. They just look stupid IMO. Dont think theres much need for it in Patts to be honest unless you meet someone of distinct authority. Lets face it most of us wont be meeting anyone in the bars etc haha. Agree NEVER wai a BG :AngryWink:

My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures.

-- Michael Caine (Alfie, 1966)

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Have never wai'ed anyone but know the 3 different types. Havent really wanted to but have seen farang wai'ing toilet attendants etc WTF. They just look stupid IMO. Dont think theres much need for it in Patts to be honest unless you meet someone of distinct authority. Lets face it most of us wont be meeting anyone in the bars etc haha. Agree NEVER wai a BG :wacko:

 

Yeah, that cannot be stressed enough...it might seem kind of harsh to farangs not used to the hierarchical nature of Thai society, and I am not saying one cannot subvert that hierarchy from time to time, but wai-ing is one of those social behaviors it is really best to follow the Thai lead on.

 

Likewise, you should never address a bar girl (or a taxi driver, etc.) as "khun"...in doing so you are giving them too much respect relative to their social station, which, like it or not, they accept, and which defines them in a way that makes their society "work"...giving too much respect to someone of working class status can be perceived, believe it or not, as just as insulting (in a mocking kind of way) as not giving enough respect...

 

ratchada

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  • 3 months later...

OK, heres an example from a newbie, experience reply preffered.

 

Im walking back to Marklands soi1, when in my vision a BiB approaches (police).

 

He acknowledges me, looks into my eyes an gives me the slight nod of hello, sign o respect an acknowledgement.

 

Should i give him the nod of my head (like i did) or give hime a wai (if so, what level?).

 

I might earn more than him as a postman, but clearly he's above me in job level, and respect. Any answers?

ภรรยาไทยต้องà¸à¸²à¸£

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  • 1 month later...

I think it's really a good thing. I do it all the time when I'm in Thailand. I wish it was done here in the states. It's allot more cleaner than shaking hands. Don't know where that hand has been. The one thing I do miss is when in LOS that I meet a lady I've knwn from earlier trips that they don't hug. I believe thats why you see so many Thai girls holding on to each other. They miss the human contact.

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OK, heres an example from a newbie, experience reply preffered.

 

Im walking back to Marklands soi1, when in my vision a BiB approaches (police).

 

He acknowledges me, looks into my eyes an gives me the slight nod of hello, sign o respect an acknowledgement.

 

Should i give him the nod of my head (like i did) or give hime a wai (if so, what level?).

 

I might earn more than him as a postman, but clearly he's above me in job level, and respect. Any answers?

Mostly I answer mimicking the greeting that I received: if waied, I wai, if "nodded", I nod :-) Easy, and imho, quite foolproof :-) I never met thai with a high official rank, but should I, I expect there will be some people informing you of the correct protocol to follow...

I did meet thai for professional reason, and waied if I had the occasion, but very often they are happy to shake hand to show they master the western politeness (like the japansese, it is rare to have to occasion to salute with a bow nowadays, as your hand has likely been gripped before you had a chance to try...although doing the handshake AND the bowing/wai in succession or on different occasions seems an elegant way to do it, and is well appreciated :-).

Only problem I have is when waied while having something in my hand/hands. You look extremely stupid trying to wai while still holding something, and I suspect it may be impolite (is it?).

So in this case, I nod, which seems the most natural thing to do, and it has seemed well accepted up to now :-)

Edited by gregkai
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I do it, but only sometimes. The etiquette involved with waing is complex and I don't like doing it because of this. Nothing more cringe worthy than watching someone wai when they shouldn't. Makes me laugh when people wai BG's.

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"Up to me" since 2005

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Hum, reading all the posts that mention to never wai BG, or childrens...I think it is a little over the top: I have seen, on many occasions, thai adults wai a child after he/she has waied. They always do it with a big smile, giving me the impression they are happy and do it to encourage the child because he/she has been polite. IE not serious or formal, but playfully.

 

I think (but I can be wrong) that wais are, most of the time, not the serious affair some sources let you think they are: with elder people, thais having a high official rank, or your direct boss, yes it may be (like the hand shaking is for westerners).

But on everyday life, when no power or professional relation is at stake, I think it is as casual as western salute nowadays...

Only exception is to way when you apologize: it think it very helpful (together with a kawt toot krap) if you want to avoid confrontation...Exactly like a "sorry" or "excuse me" is sometimes badly needed in farangland, if you want to avoid a good punch in the nose ;-)

Edited by gregkai
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Unless someone wai's me I never do it.

 

FatBob.

I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.

 

 

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

 

Groucho Marx

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Why wai?

 

Seriously, I hate shaking hands even more, but it always makes me feel a bit awkward trying to seriously give the wai.

"Debauchery University post-graduate sabbatical"

 

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I have had guys tell me off for wai-ing too much but like said I treat it as a hand shake.. and if introduced to someone I would shake hands so apply same logic

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You should never initiate a wai with someone obviously younger than you (but still an adult), though you can return their wai...unless it's a child. Do not wai children!! It looks very silly to Thais. To return a child's wai simply nod your head.

 

You should never wai someone in a service position: food vendor, taxi driver, restaurant greeter, BAR GIRL. DO NOT wai bar girls!! It is wrong because of your social status relative to theirs. You may not like that fact being an "egalitarian" Westerner, but that's just the way it is here. Nod your head to return a bar girl or other service person's wai.

 

It is okay to wai bar or restaurant owners. It is okay to wai people obviously older than you. It is definitely okay (and sometimes advisable) to wai policemen and other people in authority.

 

ratchada

 

Solid advice here, just try your best as Thai's mostly understand that we are farang and dont know the intricate nature of their societies. Some on here may well understand alot, but most of us dont.

 

Picco

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I have had guys tell me off for wai-ing too much but like said I treat it as a hand shake.. and if introduced to someone I would shake hands so apply same logic

 

I wouldnt worry about wai'ing in Patts and I would never wai a bar girl as you just look silly. Just give them a nod and smile as that is sufficient. The only time I would consider doing it is with the BIB if I was in schtook.

My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures.

-- Michael Caine (Alfie, 1966)

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I do it, but only sometimes. The etiquette involved with waing is complex and I don't like doing it because of this. Nothing more cringe worthy than watching someone wai when they shouldn't. Makes me laugh when people wai BG's.

 

 

hahaha. thats so true. even the BG kind of looks a little perplexed.

 

i do tend to wai a lot. i figure im an obvious farang- a tall white guy who's about as white as sunlight and i over-wai people and smile a lot. im sure im doing it wrong, but f it. im not claiming to be mr thai etiquette- i get a ton of smiles in return and i find it fun. ive even made some good friends out of it. i think most thais figure, here's a guy who's respectful, smiling a lot and is trying, so they find it cool. kind of like if you cant speak japanese but try in japan- people go wide eyed and love you for it. hell, i could barely say "where is the toilet" in japanese- probably came off like "is toilet where?" in yoda speak, but people loved that you tried to speak it. they love effort. and as long as im not a wanker and wai'ing bg's or mamasans, its all good.

 

:rolleyes:

 

 

-17

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It seems to me that the habit of doing a Wai is going out of fashion with the young girls nowadays.

 

When I first went to Thailand a freelancer who I had picked up gave me a Wai when I gave the money in the morning. It made me feel good as she was showing gratitude to me for giving her some money - when I should have been grateful for her giving me a good time for the price of a round of beer. I was not accustomed to wai's and it seemed as though she was bowing to me in the way that people bow before a king or Queen.

 

Nowadays, no matter the amount, girls just seem to give a quick glance at the money and then toss it casually into their hand bags before heading for the door.

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It seems to me that the habit of doing a Wai is going out of fashion with the young girls nowadays.

 

When I first went to Thailand a freelancer who I had picked up gave me a Wai when I gave the money in the morning. It made me feel good as she was showing gratitude to me for giving her some money - when I should have been grateful for her giving me a good time for the price of a round of beer. I was not accustomed to wai's and it seemed as though she was bowing to me in the way that people bow before a king or queen.

 

Nowadays, no matter the amount, girls just seem to give a quick glance at the money and then toss it casually into their hand bags before heading for the door.

Not all of them, I still get wais often...and find them as cute as the first one I got 5 years ago ;-)

It is not always the girls with who I get along best who wai though, it is typically a nice girl, quite fresh, not westernized yet and shy, so not really a GF experience. I think when its taking the GF/BF direction the wais are less common as you are more considered as a bf/friend/equal, not like a boss/superior/elder, and things become much less formal...

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i do it in one capacity where it's obviously wrong...

 

that's when a suit salesman wants to shake my hand while i'm walking by, i fell for it one my first day in thailand ever, but then no more. when they put out their hand, i wai back, and walk right past them, i don't need to say no thanks, or nothing, works every time. so i've changed the way into a fuck off kind of thing.

 

but i probably way a little bit too much, if the waitress was particularly nice and cute, or if i got good service, i wai, i've probably wai'd BG's too at some point, not that often though, just seems kinda stupid if you think about it. one time i wai'd as an apology after i trashed a dirt bike in koh tao.

 

i basically use it where i would use a handshake, but i have to start rethinking that.

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I dont Wia, I just give them a big smile back. With the taliors I just ignore them now.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The tailors in Pattaya are the only people in the whole country who I wished physical harm upon, and considered donating to the cause...they aren't Thais so I could probably get away with it, but I digress.

 

In my experience the height of the Wai is important, but also you should pay attention to your eyes when Wai-ing an elder or someone greatly respected. Drop the eyes. Of course I'm 26, so I'm expected to Wai a lot more than some of you would.

 

The wai can also be used as a sign of graciousness. Like if you totally ripped the BG at a game of snooker, it's perfectly accepted to offer a low "wai" like an unspoken "thanks for the good game."

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I don't think anyone has mentioned wai'ing when apologizing for something, thats something I think is ok for any status (except monks, royality etc) to do.

 

Please correct me if wrong but I see thai's doing it all the time.

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  • 4 weeks later...

My rules are simple: When someone wai's me first I respond to that. Also, upon meeting a persion who is my senior in age or status, especially age. When greeting or saying good-bye to my girlfriend's parents or their relatives.

sinclair1969: a fuckin' degenerate gambler.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
I do wai especially when pissed!! When i went to a girls village she kept nudging me to make sure i wai at the right people. I think its as important as learning thai, - to impress/get extra respect off thai people.

 

Same same! When you meet girl's relatives for a first time ya expected to wai. Girl herself by the way also will always wai her parents. It's a cultural thing i guess and i see nothing wrong with it.

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