How much do you Wai? (sic)

[George66]

This is not another fat farang topic. I'm curious about the wai, the Thai greeting of putting your hands up to your face.

 

I've read a chunk of literature discussing different levels of status in Thai society and who and who doesn't get a wai. As an Aussie, I don't think much of status but my choice to wai has more to do with who I feel comfortable wai-ing.

 

To me, it's like a handshake. I don't shake everyone's hand even if they'd want to shake mine. That's my style for better or worse. Some do, I won't.

 

But in most circumstances, I do shake peoples' hand as we do in Australia. So for me, it also feels right to wai Thais that I would like to shake hands with. The manager of the hotel yes, the monk yes, the greeter at the restaurant no. A bar girl in her bar no. A bar girl after a toe curling orgasm yes

 

So how much do you wai?

[sexy beast]

Personally I wai a lot. Its polite & good manners. Here is a couple of examples of how to wai:

 

[Dean]

Personally I wai a lot. Its polite & good manners. Here is a couple of examples of how to wai:

Me too sexy...but i guess we'll be in for a flaming from some people, telling us just how wrong we are.. Mai pen rai

[codfish]

When ever required, But not that often

[LaaMok]

I do wai especially when pissed!! When i went to a girls village she kept nudging me to make sure i wai at the right people. I think its as important as learning thai, - to impress/get extra respect off thai people.

[The Deported One]

I wai when I am wai'd out of respect

[achillesdave]

I was told they dont like it for farang to wai or speak thai. They might be smileing at you but behind the smile they think your a prick for acting thai.

[sexy beast]

I was told they dont like it for farang to wai or speak thai. They might be smileing at you but behind the smile they think your a prick for acting thai.

 

I can assure you that you have been missinformed! A farang who makes the effort to wai will be looked on with respect 99%

of the time, its a polite gesture.

[whitespider - RIP]

Me too sexy...but i guess we'll be in for a flaming from some people, telling us just how wrong we are.. Mai pen rai

 

Dean - if you get flamed don't worry. Its is fine to Wai............... ANYONE; yes even children although I doubt you ever would. The 2flamers" are generally either ill-informed OR the converse have spent too much time trying to understand the nuances of Thai protocol.

 

if you stick to the "strangers wai" (hands below chin) you will NOT be laughed at as some here would have you believe. Its like talking French in France - they appreciate your effort.

 

Having been here 14years my simple rules are

 

1. wai to those I SHOULD wai to - and I hope I know by now

 

2. wai back to anyone who wais to me - if you are awkward about it a smile and a nod in reply will usually do unless it was someone you should have wai'd first.

 

They are NOT hard and fast rules but if you use the you will NOT actually upset anyone. When BGs laugh, trust me, they are NOT laughing AT you (again as some would have you believe) they just find it unusual that a farang can be that polite.

 

A you are unlikely to come across those for who NOT wai'ing would be a sin just follow your heart and do what is comfortable, as I say a smile and a nod WILL suffice.

[Superia]

rarely...

 

people of an equal or higher footing than myself. Business wise almost never.

[forestman]

Being 60 years old ,grey haired ,you get waied a lot ,seems Thais or more coutreous to older generation.plus the fact many bargirls send money back for there parents.

[Guest Qwert06]

I know it's manners, but i actually feel uncomfortable doing it. I kind of wish i did'nt but i can't realy do much about it :What1:

[dream]

I dont wai that much because although I dont like the Class system here, it still exists and is respected by other Thais. For example if your walking down the street with your thai wife and you wai at a BG you are likely to get a clout in the head. We didnt make the rules and the locals are very forgiving if we get the Wai wrong. As sexy beast stated its the effort that count.

 

I also remember something about a low Wai being an insult? IE if the Wai is below shoulder height it is sort of a negative Wai? does anyone know about this??

 

Dream

[Anonsailor]

I have a Thai Marine Captain friend, who told me once, that foreigners should refrain from waiing, since they rarely know the cultural significance of the wai to begin with. I'd only wai the the king or Queen. I have met the queeen once in 87'.

[roverwild]

What exactly is the cultural significance of the wai? I just do it when Tilak tells me to.

[Lok Jit]

I learned the Wai when living in Chiang Mai..Learned from the Thais..Sigh of respect sure..Its a status thing..I wai the Doctor and professional people equal to or greater then myself..This also includes family members-elders-monks etc..I DO NOT wai bar girls or the girl that checks me out from Tesco Lotus..I find it funny when I see farangs enter a Go Go bar and start immediately doing the wai..Its a sign of RESPECT..

[noodles]

I believe there are different types of wai's depending on the status of the person. They can be used as a greeting or saying thank you.

 

I'm not sure how correct his is but i believe that a wai for those of lesser rank is done with the thumbs at chest height.

If the person is of equal rank the thumbs are at chin level.

If the person is older or important, the thumbs are at the upper lip.

If it's a very important person the thumbs are at nose level.

If it's a monk or a prayer to Buddha the thumbs are at the eyebrow level.

Edited September 12, 2007 by fireblade

[Ding Dong]

as i read and learned you wai at people with higher status than you, this is a tricky one to know which has higher status, so if someone wai at me i just nod. the only i have wai at was some high up ladyboy "mom" i/we meet in a beauty salon

[danno6]

I dont wai that much because although I dont like the Class system here, it still exists and is respected by other Thais. For example if your walking down the street with your thai wife and you wai at a BG you are likely to get a clout in the head. We didnt make the rules and the locals are very forgiving if we get the Wai wrong. As sexy beast stated its the effort that count.

 

I also remember something about a low Wai being an insult? IE if the Wai is below shoulder height it is sort of a negative Wai? does anyone know about this??

 

Dream

 

 

Dream, Yea, my wife had a spat with a former friend. The friend's mother was visiting the US and we saw her on the porch of their house as we were dropping something off. The former friend's mother gave a really low, sort of off to the side wai, that caused my wife to explode once we were back in the car and out of sight! She claimed that it was a HUGE insult.

 

As an aside, before I met my wife's family, I was carefully schooled in how to wai with specific instructions for each family member (or group)...i.e. grandmother/parents, brother & sister, neice and nephews!

[zaphodbeeblebrox]

The wai is reserved as a greeting and show of respect to people who are superior in status to you. I did my first wai's, ever, last night to the following people:

 

director of surgical department at Pattaya Memorial Hospital

his medical assistant

the director of hospital admissions

[DoctorJ]

1. wai in return, but lower than the wai you received

2. when in doubt, do NOT wai. you look like a total asshole if you wai when it is inappropriate.

3. Do NOT wai anyone younger or in a service capacity unless in return.

4. Wai in greeting if higher or equal status. A doctor, a professional, the hotel manager, perhaps, NOT the cab driver or waitress or front desk girl. Remember that as a farang you may be considered a lowlife in some respects, but you have some standing as a white person, guest, and possible richer person.

5. If you are sure of what you are doing, you CAN wai a lower status person to thank them for something special. You could wai the front desk for a free room upgrade. But if in doubt, do NOT wai.

taught by my hi soc Thai VERY rich gf

my 2 satang

[lincslad]

1. wai in return, but lower than the wai you received

2. when in doubt, do NOT wai. you look like a total asshole if you wai when it is inappropriate.

3. Do NOT wai anyone younger or in a service capacity unless in return.

4. Wai in greeting if higher or equal status. A doctor, a professional, the hotel manager, perhaps, NOT the cab driver or waitress or front desk girl. Remember that as a farang you may be considered a lowlife in some respects, but you have some standing as a white person, guest, and possible richer person.

5. If you are sure of what you are doing, you CAN wai a lower status person to thank them for something special. You could wai the front desk for a free room upgrade. But if in doubt, do NOT wai.

taught by my hi soc Thai VERY rich gf

my 2 satang

 

 

How rich is she then doc ?

[DoctorJ]

they own theme parks that you might have heard of and a brokerage house. she comes in a shiny Mercedes with driver. Funny, but I have 3 gf's in Bkk who drive to see me. #2 is a JAL stewardess (Thai) with a littlye Honda, and #3 is a P4P FL Toyota sales girl (her pic is my avatar) who of course drives a Toyota.

[lincslad]

they own theme parks that you might have heard of and a brokerage house. she comes in a shiny Mercedes with driver. Funny, but I have 3 gf's in Bkk who drive to see me. #2 is a JAL stewardess (Thai) with a littlye Honda, and #3 is a P4P FL Toyota sales girl (her pic is my avatar) who of course drives a Toyota.

 

Safe to say she's got more than 10'000 baht in the bank then.

[DoctorJ]

LOL

her mom's rolex must have 60carats of diamonds. earrings and necklaces to match.