Up to Date Map and Reviews of Darkside Bars

[Jebb]

Todays review: Retox Outback

I know that the Retox Bars on Pattaya side get reviewed regularly so I thought I would visit the Darkside cousin, Retox Outback. Located on Soi Siam Country Club at the bottom just before the overpass and the Lake. Since the roadwork, this road is a pleasure to travel on, wide and smooth unlike Nernploebwan, Khao Noi & Khao Talao. I was greeted by the Old Sea Salt @Captain Dave who made me very welcome. The Bar mostly is like an open air beer bar with plenty of seating, a separate pool table area and an enclosed air conditioned eating area. Spotlessly clean with well serviced toilet facilities.

Wait and bar staff wear the Retox T Shirt and were neat, attentive, happy and well groomed. I was lucky enough to be served by a cute girl named Joy who has a smile like a slice out a watermelon and made sure that I was never without a beer. I had a small Leo which was 70bht, most imported beers were 80bht. There are six draft beverages on tap including Guinness and Speckled Hen and a standard Retox drink and food menu. Their menu is slightly more expensive than some on the Darkside but well within expectations considering they are part of a franchise. The blackboard special was mince and onion pie with mash and peas 199bht. I went for the chicken pasta carbonara also 199bht which came with 3 slices of toasted garlic bread. It was excellent with chunks of chicken and bacon in a creamy sauce. My mistake was sitting in front of a fan to eat so it cooled off quickly, my bad there. All the fans are pointing out toward the street which is good.

 I arrived at about 5 pm and there were 15 customers in the bar which quickly swelled to 60 plus in the next hour. There were many families and couples who came to eat. Test cricket, Union, Premier League and AFL were all being shown, so something for everyone.

Retox Outback is open from 7am until midnight and does breakfast, lunch and dinner. Dave said that even in low season they have not been affected too much because they rely mostly on expats and locals as well as a strong golfing fraternity. He reminded me of an old style landlord or publican who drifted from table to table to chat with the regulars or welcome new customers. I was most impressed and would recommend and return.

Location map can be found on page 1 of this thread.

Joy with the beautiful smile and the list of draft beers.

 

[forcebwithu]

Quote

a smile like a slice out a watermelon

Great description! Thanks for the well written review. Retox has really improved upon what was once the Outback Golf Bar.

[bar stool]

On 25/08/2019 at 10:25, Jebb said:

Todays review: Retox Outback

I know that the Retox Bars on Pattaya side get reviewed regularly so I thought I would visit the Darkside cousin, Retox Outback. Located on Soi Siam Country Club at the bottom just before the overpass and the Lake. Since the roadwork, this road is a pleasure to travel on, wide and smooth unlike Nernploebwan, Khao Noi & Khao Talao. I was greeted by the Old Sea Salt @Captain Dave who made me very welcome. The Bar mostly is like an open air beer bar with plenty of seating, a separate pool table area and an enclosed air conditioned eating area. Spotlessly clean with well serviced toilet facilities.

Wait and bar staff wear the Retox T Shirt and were neat, attentive, happy and well groomed. I was lucky enough to be served by a cute girl named Joy who has a smile like a slice out a watermelon and made sure that I was never without a beer. I had a small Leo which was 70bht, most imported beers were 80bht. There are six draft beverages on tap including Guinness and Speckled Hen and a standard Retox drink and food menu. Their menu is slightly more expensive than some on the Darkside but well within expectations considering they are part of a franchise. The blackboard special was mince and onion pie with mash and peas 199bht. I went for the chicken pasta carbonara also 199bht which came with 3 slices of toasted garlic bread. It was excellent with chunks of chicken and bacon in a creamy sauce. My mistake was sitting in front of a fan to eat so it cooled off quickly, my bad there. All the fans are pointing out toward the street which is good.

 I arrived at about 5 pm and there were 15 customers in the bar which quickly swelled to 60 plus in the next hour. There were many families and couples who came to eat. Test cricket, Union, Premier League and AFL were all being shown, so something for everyone.

Retox Outback is open from 7am until midnight and does breakfast, lunch and dinner. Dave said that even in low season they have not been affected too much because they rely mostly on expats and locals as well as a strong golfing fraternity. He reminded me of an old style landlord or publican who drifted from table to table to chat with the regulars or welcome new customers. I was most impressed and would recommend and return.

Location map can be found on page 1 of this thread.

Joy with the beautiful smile and the list of draft beers.

 

Imported beers at 80 baht?

Heineken and the like are locally brewed.

[Jebb]

Well, overseas brands made under licence, as opposed to Leo, Chang and Singha etc. I stand corrected. 555

[petemoss]

55 minutes ago, Jebb said:

Well, overseas brands made under licence, as opposed to Leo, Chang and Singha etc. I stand corrected. 555

It's a fair point though. When it first opened, Retox Outback had several European lagers/beers on tap. Paulaner, Peroni and, if I remember correctly, Asahi. All gone. It was often the deciding factor, for me, whether to eat there or elsewhere on the Darkside as I don't know of anywhere that serves a decent European draught beer on the Darkside.

The loss of those draught beers has made my visits there far less frequent.

[Franko2018]

@forcebwithu

Thanks for the updated map. 

4 of us heading over in 5 hours and want to know the 4 or 5 best bars to go to. 

Anyone got advice? 

[Jebb]

I would not bother before 3pm. Possibly Black Sheep, Noi T and Pasha in Soi Khao Noi. Booze Lounge in Khao Talao but no naughty stuff in bar area there.

[Harve]

Have been in Aqua Deymie , Birdcage & bar next door to birdcage recently. Aqua a shadow of its former self even with all the bar renovations. Was only about 5 girls working last time in there. Birdcage gets a lot of costumers so pickings can sometime be slim. The bar next door, sorry can't remember name had a couple of good looking girls in there. One named Tikky very impressive. Any other suggestions much appreciated.

[Jebb]

Last week, went to the Den Swiss House on Soi Khao Noi about 250 metres past the Chilled Shopping Centre opposite side.

I

It is a very nice place with and outdoors area at front and an enclosed eating area inside. My partner went for Hash Browns with eggs 180bht and got a huge hash brown more like a giant pancake with 2 eggs on top. Plain stodgy food but there was plenty of it and it looked good. I chose Chicken Breast 250bht with mushroom sauce, noodles and veg. The breast was tender and perfectly cooked. The sauce as good as any I have had anywhere, the noodles and veg complemented it perfectly. (I had already eaten some when the pic was taken)

 

Both came with a side salad that was swimming in mayonnaise. It was nice as long as you like mayonnaise. A nice touch was that the chef walked out with the waitress who carried our meals and introduced  himself. A walk past the kitchen showed that it was clean and tidy. We opted for soft drinks but the alcoholic drinks list was quite reasonable.

 

All in all a nice clean place with a Western/Thai menu with the accent on German/Swiss cuisine offering bratwursts etc. Very nice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[bkkjunkie]

On 10/09/2019 at 15:50, Jebb said:

Last week, went to the Den Swiss House on Soi Khao Noi about 250 metres past the Chilled Shopping Centre opposite side.

I

It is a very nice place with and outdoors area at front and an enclosed eating area inside. My partner went for Hash Browns with eggs 180bht and got a huge hash brown more like a giant pancake with 2 eggs on top. Plain stodgy food but there was plenty of it and it looked good. I chose Chicken Breast 250bht with mushroom sauce, noodles and veg. The breast was tender and perfectly cooked. The sauce as good as any I have had anywhere, the noodles and veg complemented it perfectly. (I had already eaten some when the pic was taken)

 

Both came with a side salad that was swimming in mayonnaise. It was nice as long as you like mayonnaise. A nice Touch was that the chef walked out with the waitress who carried our meals and introduced  himself. A walk past the kitchen showed that it was clean and tidy. We opted for soft drinks but the alcoholic drinks list was quite reasonable.

 

All in all a nice clean place with a Western/Thai menu with the accent on German/Swiss cuisine offering bratwursts etc. Very nice.

 

at Den Swiss house you have salad and soupe buffet included in the evening in the main courses.

[Jebb]

A seasoned Pattaya veteran friend of mine had never been to the Darkside and asked me if I would take him a a bar crawl tour. He  lives in Spain so we will call him Jose.

Black Sheep Bar- We agreed to meet at the Black Sheep bar on Soi Khao Noi at 6pm, it is one of those bars that rarely disappoints with a good stable and fun can be had behind closed doors. He arrived promptly and we were met by about six young ladies and a cute cashier who made us welcome as soon as we entered. Within two minutes, Jose had the knickers off his girl and he was having his wicked way with her. Mine was a bit more demure but if we had not planned to only have one drink in each bar I am sure that she would have come around eventually. One for the balloon chasers here, they have free chicken and chips on Friday afternoons. Good bar.

Full Moon 2 Bar- Our next bar was FM2. Not so much a girlie bar but a bar where some serious pool players hang out. I have gone there to watch them play before and cannot but be impressed with their skill level and sense of sportsmanship. It is a big wide enclosed bar which still has a large number of ladies available and zero drink pressure. Another nice clean bar with a good vibe but no lady action inside.

Ning's Orange Bar- Went past Nings and there were two extremely cute girls sitting out front who we quickly joined. This is an open front bar and we were the only customers. Jose's girl was gorgeous and spoke good English, mine was farm fresh and spoke next to none but had a lovely nature. There was a cashier who stayed behind the counter and an extroverted ladyboy who was mamasan. Just after we arrived four well oiled up Brits arrived and sat opposite us and we had hogged the available girls. The Ladyboy to her credit did a great job keeping them entertained and there was a lot of good natured banter all round. They knew we were only staying for one drink so did not mind waiting their turn. A small bar but very well run by the mamasan.

Noy T Bar- What we missed in girl action before was made up here, we had hit the mother lode. There was already several farang in the bar and all but two girls were taken. A small cute dark skinned one who latched on to Jose and a larger girl not so beautiful but keen. Jose dug me in the ribs and two farang were leaving and the one I fancied was free so I bought her and the big girl a drink each to save face. This one was also small and dark skinned and jumped into my lap. The monger gods then smiled as a farang entered who knew the big girl and he soon bought her a drink and had her clothes off. Meanwhile Jose and I had ours undressed and they were not shy. Actually it became obvious the Jose's girl was getting very drunk or was possibly affected by something else. Here is where I had a new Pattaya experience. My girl (Tood too) said that she had a baby 8 months ago and did I want to taste her milk? She then squeezed her tit and out it came, never seen that before in a bar. Meanwhile, alarm bells were going of on Jose's bench and he wanted to vamoose to get away from his girl. Another hour and she would have been a train wreck.

Noy T Bar

Birdcage Bar- Caught a mototaxi to this one down past the Castra Gym and Siamburys where there are 3 bars together. As soon as I walked in I saw the girl I wanted Mim, she was playing pool and was tall, elegant and beautiful. About early 30s which is a good age for me. As soon as she finished the game her and a friend joined us and this one goes straight into the Black Book for later. There were lots of ladies in this bar and when I have been there before, there have been plenty of customers too but not tonight, mainly ladies. A reasonably spacious bar fully enclosed with a pool table and room upstairs I was told. Did not see any hanky panky inside the bar but would not rule it out. Always worth a visit this bar.

Mim (not a good shot)

Samorn Bar- Just past Birdcage walking toward Castra Gym on the opposite side of the road. An open fronted bar with many girls, 3 of them gogo standard beauty. Two were taken and Jose took the other. Mine was pretty but next to no English and was hard work. They played good music and had a good vibe. Because it is an open bar, no girl action but a great place to pick up a stunning barfine.

New Secret Bar- Practically next door to the Castra Gym. Like the Birdcage, fully enclosed and slightly bigger with a pool table. There were four girls sitting at the bar who were obviously married to farang or heavily sponsored judging by the way they were dressed and conducted themselves. I would guess the graduating class of 2018 showing off their trinkets. There were several girls available but nobody that either of us fancied. Again another clean well appointed bar and would certainly give it another chance.

Pasha Bar- Just behind the 7 11 at the junction of Soi Khao noi and Khao Talao. Well lots of action here with possibly the hottest cashier I have seen in many a day who quickly jumped the counter to sit on Jose's lap. From this position she still continued her cashier duties while taking care of Jose. At a table adjacent to us there was a table of four Koreans having a great time, buying lady drinks and enjoying life. Strange to see on the Darkside but good to see. Any bar would kill to have customers spending like they were. At this bar another first for me, despite their being other ladies there was a ladyboy alone and I offered her a drink. Any woman would kill for this one's body and was very feminine. The cashier whispered that she was a post op. Hmmmnnn! Not usually my cup of tea but when she said that she had no underwear under the skimpy shorts, curiousity got the better of me and I had to have a feel. Just like a normal one only dry would be my verdict. Meanwhile Jose and the cashier were getting serious and negotiations were underway. Because she was cashier and I suppose manager, she could only do short time on the premises but numbers were exchanged and this will go further I predict. A few games of pool and the one drink rule went out the window. At this point we decided that enough was enough and our recon mission was deemed a success. I bought lady drinks at every bar and it still cost much less than a night on Walking St with exceptional quality.

PS. All these bars can be found on the map on page one of this thread.

[Jebb]

2 hours ago, bkkjunkie said:

at Den Swiss house you have salad and soupe buffet included in the evening in the main courses.

Yes, forgot that thanks.

[gaplem]

On 10/09/2019 at 20:02, Jebb said:

 

PS. All these bars can be found on the map on page one of this thread.

 

So great review ! thank you so much !!!

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 12, 2019 by deano4598
How it should be

[boingo]

Great report Jebb and I won't tell sister

Sent from my SM-N960F using Tapatalk

[forcebwithu]

Thanks @Jebb for taking the time to write some very good reviews. To save BM's from having to search prior pages for the map, including in this post.

List of Darkside bars currently included on the map:

[deano4598]

@gaplem Mate I edited your post to remove the long quote, please don't do this as it maked threads hard to read for guys on mobile devices, just quote what you are referring to or tag the poster.

[petemoss]

On 23/08/2019 at 04:39, Jebb said:

Thanks I will try it.

Cullen Skink back on at Tropical. Better than ever. Dip your bread in while stocks last.

[Daz Manc]

On 10/09/2019 at 18:20, Jebb said:

Yes, forgot that thanks.

Hi pal

Can you tell me if there are any daytime 3pm to evening (Gents Club type ) places on the Darkside please ?

 

[petemoss]

30 minutes ago, Daz Manc said:

Hi pal

Can you tell me if there are any daytime 3pm to evening (Gents Club type ) places on the Darkside please ?

 

Majority of bars on the darkside are open at 3pm. Paradise bar is an anything goes bar.

[Jebb]

Yes, Paradise, Noy T, Black Sheep, Pasha, Birdcage and the bars either side.

[bar stool]

On 10/09/2019 at 15:50, Jebb said:

Last week, went to the Den Swiss House on Soi Khao Noi about 250 metres past the Chilled Shopping Centre opposite side.

I

It is a very nice place with and outdoors area at front and an enclosed eating area inside. My partner went for Hash Browns with eggs 180bht and got a huge hash brown more like a giant pancake with 2 eggs on top. Plain stodgy food but there was plenty of it and it looked good. I chose Chicken Breast 250bht with mushroom sauce, noodles and veg. The breast was tender and perfectly cooked. The sauce as good as any I have had anywhere, the noodles and veg complemented it perfectly. (I had already eaten some when the pic was taken)

 

Both came with a side salad that was swimming in mayonnaise. It was nice as long as you like mayonnaise. A nice Touch was that the chef walked out with the waitress who carried our meals and introduced  himself. A walk past the kitchen showed that it was clean and tidy. We opted for soft drinks but the alcoholic drinks list was quite reasonable.

 

All in all a nice clean place with a Western/Thai menu with the accent on German/Swiss cuisine offering bratwursts etc. Very nice.

 

Den Swiss House on Soi Khao Noi has potential and is not too expensive, but I hate their dirty dog roaming the restaurant and the kitchen.

[bar stool]

On ‎15‎/‎09‎/‎2019 at 19:38, Daz Manc said:

Hi pal

Can you tell me if there are any daytime 3pm to evening (Gents Club type ) places on the Darkside please ?

 

 

On ‎15‎/‎09‎/‎2019 at 20:10, petemoss said:

Majority of bars on the darkside are open at 3pm. Paradise bar is an anything goes bar.

By far most bars on the Dark Side open later than 3 p.m., rather 4 or 5 p.m.

[bar stool]

On Soi Khao Talo Hideout has reopened, but it still looks the same formula.

[bar stool]

BEWARE: The skinny girl sitting in front of Koy Bar on Soi Khao Talo is the impotent Swiss owner’s wife and therefore not available.

[bar stool]

At Aqua-Deymie off Soi Nern Plab Wahn a 26-year-old slim girl (45 kg, 165 cm, AAA cup) with short black hair (Thai-schoolgirl style) has started: Iew or Eaw (อี๋ว) from Nakhon Sawan.

A real difference from the old hags there.

I had the honour to be her first customer on her very first day.

Unnecessary to say her English was very limited.

This sweetheart told me she was a “single mom” (her words) with a 1-year-old son.

She was very wet, no lube needed.

Bareback OK if I declared myself disease free, no anal.

Heineken 69 baht (happy hour), LD 119, BF (on-site room included) 300 baht, fee 1,000 baht.