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5 Things The Dying Want Us To Know


QuotaMan

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/01/truths-about-death_n_5638984.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

 

Veteran journalist and author of Opening Heaven's Door: Investigating Stories of Life, Death, and What Comes After explains what she discovered after researching how people cross over.

 

By Patricia Pearson

 

1. The 72-hour mark is when it begins.

 

After losing my sister and father within nine weeks, I spent five years investigating what happens when we die. While interviewing dozens of people who work with terminally ill patients, or have had deathbed experiences or have come back from death, I learned that the dying often seem to know that they're going, and when. Within 72 hours of death, they begin to speak in metaphors of journey. They request their shoes, or their plane tickets or demand to go home when they are home. When my sister lay dying of breast cancer, she said, as if frustrated, "I don't know how to leave," and spoke of "hapless flight attendants."

 

"Does my wife understand about the passport and ticket?," asked a man succumbing to the ravages of pancreatic cancer of a Virginia-based hospice nurse named Maggie Callanan (Callanan, along with fellow nurse Patrica Kelley, would go on to coin the official phrase, "nearing death awareness," and co-author Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying). After having helped hundreds of patients transition to death, Callanan believes this vision of a journey ahead is no accident. The dying are not picturing an end. They are seeing death as a trip -- possibly to somewhere else.

 

2. Dead family members and friends can come back to us.

 

This sounds like a side effect of the powerful pain killers they are taking. But is it? In one major cross-national study (by psychologists Karlis Osis, PhD, and Erlendur Haraldsson, PhD, of the University of Iceland) comparing deathbed experiences in the U.S. and India, the majority of patients who were still conscious within an hour of death saw deceased loved ones beckoning, regardless of whether they were medicated. When I interviewed Audrey Scott, 84, who was dying of cancer, she was receiving visits from her adopted son Frankie, she said, who had predeceased her by several years. He sat quietly in a nearby armchair.

 

In some cases, people see friends or family members they simply weren't aware had died. In one of the first well-investigated cases of a deathbed vision, a mother dying in childbirth told obstetrician Lady Florence Barrett in a Dublin hospital that she saw her deceased father before her. She also saw something that confused her: "He has Vida with him," she told Lady Barrett, referring to her sister, whose death three weeks earlier had been kept from her. "Vida is with him," she repeated wonderingly.

 

3. There's something else about that famous white light.

 

It has become a bit of a cliché in our culture to talk about seeing "the white light." But, the truth is that this light is also perceived as wisdom and love. It's a feeling as much as a visual experience. Those who have near-death experiences -- retaining consciousness during cardiac arrest, for example -- are veritably shattered by the emotional power of this light. Dr. Yvonne Kason, who had been in a plane crash, compared it to an extraordinary maternal love. "Like I was a newborn baby on my mother's shoulder. Utterly safe." Then she added: "It was like I'd been lost for centuries and I'd found my way home." Nurse Callanan frequently observes her patients being present, conscious, in this world and also beginning to see and remark upon the beauty of another.

 

4. Even when there's no warning, they may still say goodbye.

 

It came as a true surprise for me to learn that study after study confirms that roughly 50 percent of the bereaved sense the presence of lost loved ones, either in the moment of death, or sometime later. It happened within my own family. My father died abruptly, without a warning illness, in the middle of the night in 2008. My sister Katharine, awake in her bedroom 100 miles away, suddenly sensed a presence near her, and felt hands gently cupping the back of her head. She was suffused with feelings of contentment and joy, an experience so vivid and strange that she found it remarkable -- and shared it with her son before learning that our father had died.

 

Although psychiatrists call these instances "grief hallucinations," the science of such subjective experiences remains poorly understood; certainly, it doesn't explain how we can have them before we know someone has died. One man told me about going downstairs to breakfast during his childhood, and seeing his father seated at the table, as always. He was totally mystified when his mother proceeded with the news that his father had died in the night. "But he's sitting right there!," he said. His father then faded.

 

Only 5 percent of these experiences are visual, according to a study done by palliative-care physician Michael Barbato at St. Joseph's Hospital in Auburn, Australia. The majority involve the sense of a presence -- not a fleeting, shadowy sense, but a vivid and specific one, often spurring people to make urgent phone calls, or to change direction as they're driving, or to burst into tears. It can happen at the moment of death, after some weeks, or even years later. Said the Toronto advertising executive Karen Simons, of a cold night six weeks after her father died: "I'm driving on the highway, and into the passenger seat comes Dad. I could feel him settle in. He had a very distinctive lean to the left. He rode with me from Kennedy Rd. to Pickering (10 miles). It was incredibly real, and it was completely transforming."

 

5. The living can share in the experience of dying.

 

Research in 2010 by psychiatrist Raymond Moody, PhD, who coined the term, "near-death experience" in his groundbreaking 1975 book Life After Life, suggests people can occasionally co-experience the sense of entering the light. As Florida-based palliative-care psychologist Kathleen Dowling Singh, PhD, has noted, "The dying become radiant and speak of 'walking through a room lit by a lantern,' or of their 'body filling with sunlight.'" Sometimes, if only for a moment, their family members do, too. The psychologist Joan Borysenko, PhD, for instance, described having such an experience when her 81-year-old mother died at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston while Borysenko was on faculty at Harvard. The room seemed to fill with a brilliant light, which both she and her teenage son saw, as they watched her mother rise spectrally out of her body.

 

We fear death in our culture, and find it difficult to talk about and witness. But perhaps the dying understand more than we do, and can offer us comfort, if only we could listen to what they're attempting to say.

 

 

GFE: Gull Friend Experience

 

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THATS some scary shit on a Saturday evening stucked alone at home with a gall of wine, better turn to the high grade :hello09:

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you're not going to win any brownie points with the TGs discussing this  :68:

................................................................................................................

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WTF.... Quotaman if something has happened in your life recently then i can maybe understand you putting this weird post up, maybe your feeling melancholy or feeling your mortality, if thats not the caes... i repeat WTF.  

I tend to find these "there must be something, death is spiritual" discussions really annoying, too be honest, having lost two of my familly senselessly, (the last quite recently) i get quite bitter and have to restrain myself from calling bullshit!", yes the brain is weird, yes things are never quite the same when we lose those we love but this is hardly the forum to be reminding people of their mortality surely?

One of the resons i first travelled to Pattaya, (joined this site even) was a realisation of how cruelly life can be (especially in snatching loved ones from us) a need to escape to reinvigorate myself with cheap beer and hot women, a life affirmation you might say.

Hope your next post is not so depressing.

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Quotaman quoting.... Now, get off the wine!!!

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I see you have more than 8000 posts behind you so you cannot be entirely disconnected. It's interesting reading but like the others say, why post it now and here?

OK, I agree that Thai behaviour is influenced by a culture which teaches that time of death is predestined and you can do nothing about it, so might as well have sanook, but the leading edge research here about transition into the next life I think will go waisted on Bar gIrls, it's more valuable for them to believe there is a 2nd chance.

Got to give you the message onf the article is kind of on the "bright" side, death may not necessarily be such abysmal fate.

 

You you want to read some really soul shattering writing about death in thai culture you should look up on John Burdett's novel Bangkok Haunts

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Thanks for sharing that. 

 

I believe that giving thought to the transition to the hereafter and making one's peace with that helps one surmount difficulties in this life. 

 

Not long ago I observed a Catholic Father comforting a patient near death by sharing some of the beliefs/experiences described in your post. I hope that when my time comes there is someone like that in my future. 

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Quotaman posts a lot of articles he's found elsewhere lads, anything he finds interesting he shares.  I don't think you need to start worrying that he's 'seen the light' and is about to board a flight to Eternity........

 

Personally, when my Father was dying of cancer, I visited him and Mum every day after work.  As I left each night, I'd say 'see you tomorrow', and he'd reply 'yes, drive carefully' and tell me what chores he'd need doing the following day.  One night his response was simply 'maybe', he died the next morning, and to me it clearly indicated that he knew his moment was close.

 

Near death experiences may be hokum and the attempt of the human mind to rationalise what is happening, who knows.  Life is energy though, and energy merely changes state it's never destroyed.  I'd like to think that it won't be merely a matter of the lights going out when my own time comes, though I'd appreciate coming back as a multi-millionaire next time around......

 

Cheers

 

Perthie

Perthie's PA Bash and Bikini/Glow Party 19th May 2017.  Bikini clad girls in body paint, great food including pig roast, free shots, games and prizes for the lads and lasses.

 6pm onwards at Sexy In The City (Soi 6) under the hosting expertise of the magnificent Xylanic.

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Quotaman posts a lot of articles he's found elsewhere lads, anything he finds interesting he shares.  I don't think you need to start worrying that he's 'seen the light' and is about to board a flight to Eternity........

 

Personally, when my Father was dying of cancer, I visited him and Mum every day after work.  As I left each night, I'd say 'see you tomorrow', and he'd reply 'yes, drive carefully' and tell me what chores he'd need doing the following day.  One night his response was simply 'maybe', he died the next morning, and to me it clearly indicated that he knew his moment was close.

 

Near death experiences may be hokum and the attempt of the human mind to rationalise what is happening, who knows.  Life is energy though, and energy merely changes state it's never destroyed.  I'd like to think that it won't be merely a matter of the lights going out when my own time comes, though I'd appreciate coming back as a multi-millionaire next time around......

 

Cheers

 

Perthie

INteresting reflection above

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Well worth a read;

 

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Way-To-Go-Alan-Spence/dp/0753807327

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

btw, Millions of people of different faiths believe in reincarnation.

 

If and when the human race finally gets around to killing  every living thing on the planet then there won't be anything left to come back as in another life then will there.

 

Imo,That kind of blows away the (Carrot and Donkey)  theory of reincarnation.

 

Furthermore,Is not all forms of 'Life after Death' theory just Mankind's inbuilt survival instinct refusing to accept that there could be nothing to look forward to after we die?

 

 

(Have a nice day)    :GoldenSmile1:

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  • 2 weeks later...

The white light could be the bright lamp over the operating table. It can easily be seen through one's eyelids.

Every hole a goal.

Condoms kill boners. Save the boners.

Stop the Vagilantes.

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