Thai dating

[panman2]

Hi fellows,

 

not sure I this is the place to ask this question or is there even any answer to this.

 

I have meet a very nice girl on thai dating side. We have spoke almost every day on Skype many hours. Now I am going to see her after few months and we have made big plans about future (yess, yess, to early). But feels so good and and she also said feels good. She is a "good" girl who has a normal work and has a decent salary.

 

This one thing bothers me; even she has now said so much about me and plan about our future, why she still keeps her dating profile? Is it too much asked if I ask her to take away her profile on date side, as she now has found her future husband  

 

I think this question comes up in every online dating; when is the time to stop looking more potential friends and remove the profile? 

[jerry]

You never met the girl and you think you are her future husband , come on get real .

You think because she has a job and a decent salary (in Thailand that means 10/15k)

you don't have to take care of the family ?

 

Ever been to Thailand ?

[SteadyG]

This epidemic is so contagious and took over the globe. This new trend of chicks that keep their profiles after meeting the right guy has become so popular. I read a lot of forums about online dating is no more than an ego booster. Up to 98 percent of those profiles are not real and the rest are beat up girls with loads of fat hanging from  their mouth. Regarding the subject of believing that we found the right girl is a player boy killer. I would be sending stunning looking men to catch the girl I date red handed because the curb is waiting. We have to breakthrough our limitations to unleash the Devil Man that been screeching for centuries. I been a good boy till age 29, and now @ 35 I am unstoppable and too judgmental when it comes to chicks, she has to look fiiiiine as hellllll because I stay busy looking good, Playa. 

[how122255]

You never met the girl and you think you are her future husband , come on get real .

You think because she has a job and a decent salary (in Thailand that means 10/15k)

you don't have to take care of the family ?

 

Ever been to Thailand ?

+1...Slow down, your going  WAY  too fast...Only after you spend at least several months here will you begin to 'slightly'  understand the Thai girl thinking.  I did say 'slightly'.

[kgk]

   Can anybody really be that naive......I know the answer is yes but if you are a member of this site and have 51 posts I think you should be wise enough to know that what you are describing is the exact recipe that can ruin a persons life.

 

  Like the previous poster said...slow down and give your head a shake.

[Buddy Edgewood]

Hi fellows,

 

not sure I this is the place to ask this question or is there even any answer to this.

 

I have meet a very nice girl on thai dating side. We have spoke almost every day on Skype many hours. Now I am going to see her after few months and we have made big plans about future (yess, yess, to early). But feels so good and and she also said feels good. She is a "good" girl who has a normal work and has a decent salary.

 

This one thing bothers me; even she has now said so much about me and plan about our future, why she still keeps her dating profile? Is it too much asked if I ask her to take away her profile on date side, as she now has found her future husband  

 

I think this question comes up in every online dating; when is the time to stop looking more potential friends and remove the profile? 

 

Don't mind the negative responses from the 'expert' BM's.  If the world were run by them, most guys would be gay and all women would be just sperm receptacles whose sole purpose in life was to please only them without question.  No doubt these experts are masters of deciphering any woman's character.  Check out their other posts, they cruze this forum looking for new posts just to post a negative, divisive, unhelpful reply - it somehow boosts their ego and makes them feel manly somehow.  But I digress...

 

Like yourself, I've met a very lovely lady on a Thai dating site.  She was one of a few that I've been talking with online over a 6 month period before my last trip.  During my last trip, I met them all and dismissed the others for various reasons, which left this one lady.  I couldn't find any obvious flaws with her, she's never been a bar girl, comes from a good family, has a university degree, a very good job, owns her own home, no parents or siblings to take care of, etc...  So, I spent quite a bit of my holiday time in LOS with her.  Now, her and I haven't made grand plans like you and your lady, but things are progressing, but slowly.  Neither of us are in a hurry and there's that huge body of water, the pacific ocean, in between us at the moment.  Unless there's a major shift of tectonic plates or I win the lottery, this won't change anytime soon, and we both understand this.

 

Regarding your question, in my situation, I told my my lady that I was deactivating my profile, and she should do the same, and she did without hesitation.  So, my advice to you would be to just man up a little and tell her that you're disabling your profile and ask that she do the same thing.  If she's serious, she won't have any problems with that.  If she protests or keeps her profile active, she's not too serious or doesn't have high confidence in the relationship moving forward (she's hedging her bet). 

 

Either way, take the reins and assert your male dominance - I suspect she'll respect you even more.

 

Hope that helps!

[vegasphl]

Sloooooo  Doooooooown. Go meet her. Live with her for a while. Then consider making your decision. GOOD LUCK!! 

[Pen-fifteen]

I've been on a number of Thai dating sites over the last 3 years, and while I can't claim to be an expert on the sites and the girls that you're likely to meet there, I do have a few ideas.

 

First, you can't expect anything until you meet the girl, and even then, it may take some time after meeting before both of you have a good idea of what to expect from each other, and where you really want to go after that.

 

So the first bit of advice is that you should not make any firm plans or promises [commitments] until you have actually met the girl in question and have had time to think over what you learn about her from the time of meeting onwards.

 

When you meet her, you will be in a much better position to make plans for the future or to cancel what has already been planned.

 

With the time that you and she spend talking on Skype, try to work out what hours, Thai time, she is online, and what hours she sleeps.  That might give you some idea of the lifestyle that she has.  Personally, I would have absolutely no interest in a girl who goes out to discos because that's where she would be almost certain to meet other guys, and if she's serious about you, she shouldn't be interested in other guys.  What hours does she work?, what hours does she Skype with you?, what hours are left for sleep and other activities?  You can come up with some useful conclusions just by looking at a clock that's set to Thai time.  Maybe she's talking to you on Skype from wherever she works...

 

I'm not trying to say that she might be misrepresenting herself to you, but in my experience, there is a significant difference between meeting someone online and meeting them face-to-face, and sometimes photos can be unintentionally deceptive.  You can also learn a lot about a person from just spending time with them.  How often does her cell-phone ring and the called is male and non-Thai?  If the cell-phone rarely goes off, that's a very positive sign.

 

Cancelling her profile before she meets you?  She might find that you are not exactly what she is hoping to find, and she has possibly had the experience before.  The lady that I am now with would not de-activate her profile on the dating site where we met until we had met, been together for a few weeks, she was confident that I'm not one of the "bad guys", and then we did a mutual deactivation - I deactivated my profile while she watched, then she logged in and deactivated her profile while I watched.  It was a confidence-building event, a sort of commitment to one another.

 

Ultimately, don't expect too much.  That way, you won't be disappointed, and you might be pleasantly surprised.

 

When I came to Thailand after meeting girls on the dating sites, I had a short list of women that I thought were strong possibilities.  I made arrangements for a face-to-face meeting with the most interesting first, and as it turned out, she and I 'clicked', so I sent brief messages to the others on my list telling them that I had cancelled my visit [to meet them], and I would let them know when and if... etc.  As it happens, that first girl on my list is the one who is with me now [still], a little over a year after our first meeting, and I feel confident in making plans for the future.

 

So in summary:

Meet face-to-face, then...

Think about it, ask yourself the obvious question - do I want to live with her long-term?

Don't make any promises that you can't, don't want to, or might not want to keep.

Don't expect too much.  If you don't 'click' with one another, be prepared to move on.

Be patient.  Rome wasn't built in a day.

 

Ultimately, the on-line meeting is just the prelude, the face-to-face meeting is the real thing, that's where you find out a lot more about her, and you should reserve all important decisions until then.

 

If I seem to be going on a lot about face-to-face meetings, that's because it is important, it's the point where you have said "OK, I'm here.  This is what I am like, and I want to know what you are like."  It's where you can discover that she's a really sweet lady, or maybe she's just another gold-digging tart.  It's also the point where she gets to find out that you're a really nice guy, and not a half-wit who's been feeding her a string of lies in the hope of getting her into bed for free.

 

PenXV

[oldfu]

Yeah, sure.

 

I had this type  once and I went to meet her and she never showed up.

 

Dont judge book by the cover.

[The Hawk]

These girls are MASTERS at deception.  I currently know one gitl who is juggling AT LEAST five different guys.  She is QUITE beautiful and can appear as the most humble, innocent looking creature while sucking your eyeballs through your testicles, then the minute your back is turned, move right onto the next guy.  She makes sure the guys have different vacation schedules so they aren't in Thailand at the same time, and they send her money while they're back in their respective countries.  She is making a small fortune doing it.  You ABSOLUTELY CANNOT make long term plans from a long distant relationship.  You may have found a keeper, but the odds are very much against it.  I cannot express this loud enough - BE CAREFUL.  I have seen so many young lives ruined from this exact kind of start . . .

[martynmanuel]

I agree with all of the above,  just be careful and take things slowly......

 

I hope things work out for you, BUT, the odds are certainly against it but i wish you luck.

 

 

Keep an eye out for the 'Sick water buffalo speel, or the family member that is unwell and needs an expensive operation asap or will die'........

[carerra6]

The most sensible things has been said about this and I agree in most of it. BE CAREFUL. I did try dating on internet many times over the last 7 years. I did meet some nice and decent girls, but not the on that clicked. 

Then, 3 years ago, just outside the entrance of my hotel I met her. We looked at each other and we both knew we were onto something. Now we have been married for almost one year and as far as I am concerned, I have never had it better. She say the same and my gut-feeling is she is telling the truth. Her family is great and there is no problems with family and money. I help them sometimes, but absolutely within reasonable limits. We are now living in my country but  will move to Thailand at the end of this year.

So far we are an example telling it is possible. To our disadvantage is also a very great difference in age 46 years. 

What we are doing to make it work is that we are telling each other what we think and feel every day. Not always easy, but at least we try and do the best we can. Difficult to do better. 

Our most interesting learning so far is that mostly all of my friends here in my country has left me saying they do not like me getting married to such a young girl. Our friends in Thailand and her family seems to say up to us. If we like, they wish us good luck.

The most important for us is what we think and feel and that we are happy.

 

Carerra6

[thedoctor]

Jesus man , slow down , you hardly know her .    you need to meet face to face with her , be careful there are scammers out there .. But you may be the lucky one who find his soulmate .

good advice for you from fellow members ,,, I suggest you head them

good luck to you

[Soi Six Snatch Sniffer]

ARE YOU FOR REAL MAN? I cant believe you havent made her take her profile down, sounds like you are gonna spend the rest of your lives together and you are allowing her to keep a profile online, come on man sort it out.

[jamduf]

i dont think u have been to thailand before? many of the girls will tell you what u want to hear. has she asked u to send money? some girls have more than one sponser. as mentioned above figure out the time in thailand and what she is doing. there have been bad stories about these sites on this forum, but there are some successfull ones too. PROCEED WITH CAUTION and when dealing with any dating site listen to your head not your heart. also create a fake profile or one of your friends to contact her without her knowing its u and see if she is interested in dating

[zxray]

A lot of guys contact thai girls on these sites, but few actually come to Thailand to meet them. I have dated 4 Thai girls that I met on line. The lady I stayed with said I was the only one that came to meet her. We have been together for 9 years now, and I have no regrets. I would not expect her to take down her profile until after your relationship becomes something more than an online affair!

You may want to slow down a bit, spend some time together and see if you really do like each other, as today you may only be a $ to her.

Good luck

Ray

 

[bennyt35]

if you're dating a girl with a decent education and job then its the same the world over,  be nice, be polite and have fun . Remember that it might just be more than fooling around in bed that both of you want in life.

[rahul101076]

when you marry a thai girl...you marry her family too. check on excess baggage beforehand.

[greenlite]

if she won't take off her dating profile she is obviously looking for someone she loves too much (someone with more money)!

[simon13]

slow down

 

i had 3 thai chics lined up before i arrived

 

i stayed with #1 for 2.5 months

wished i met #2 n #3

 

#1 was guardin me like a pitbull

scared i would be takin  by another tg and takin lol

 

but what i like most of # 1 is she is honest

hard to find

[marko1961]

Hi fellows,

 

not sure I this is the place to ask this question or is there even any answer to this.

 

I have meet a very nice girl on thai dating side. We have spoke almost every day on Skype many hours. Now I am going to see her after few months and we have made big plans about future (yess, yess, to early). But feels so good and and she also said feels good. She is a "good" girl who has a normal work and has a decent salary.

 

This one thing bothers me; even she has now said so much about me and plan about our future, why she still keeps her dating profile? Is it too much asked if I ask her to take away her profile on date side, as she now has found her future husband  

 

I think this question comes up in every online dating; when is the time to stop looking more potential friends and remove the profile? 

meeting people on a chat site comes with its dangers you have not really met her until you meet face to face when you do that and then get to know her then may be ask . good luck

[Jumpin Jack Flash]

Like many have said, you have to meet her in person first. After you've been to Thailand, met her and maybe some of her family, then you'll have an idea if the relationship can survive. Even then, she might still keep her online profile. It doesn't necessarily mean she's playing the field,  she's just protecting herself / hedging her bets. Until you move her to your country or move to Thailand, she's always going to have a doubt about your future. If you're really worried she might be juggling you with other falangs, just set up a few fake profiles, send some messages and see if she bites.

[taylor1975]

so, in summary ....get some common sense first, then take it from there! easy

[bmouthone]

think long and hard and above all TAKE CARE

[awinkl]

I have been trying to find some suitable Lady on a Thai dating site - but so far have not had any luck. Maybe I am too honest in my approach?