Chew on this: Big Dick thrusts into Pattaya

Pattaya residents and visitors will soon be cock-a-hoop over a new addition to the take-away snack market in Fun Town. inpattayanow was alerted by an excited reader to the impending opening of a theme retail food outlet located on Second Road, between Sois 4 and 5, not far from Big C.

It appears to go by the name Big Dick. The food outlet offers a selection of sausage-like snacks shaped in a fashion familiar to many of the employees of various night entertainment places around Pattaya, as well as neuro-surgeons who specialise in the re-attachment of precious male appendages severed by jilted or cuckolded lovers.

This familiarity is a clever marketing ploy designed to trigger a sensation in the sub-conscious. “Ooh, something I can really get my lips around,” may well be the first thing that pops into a hungry mind.

Get on the end of this!

As the photos show, the marketing displayed in the window of Big Dick is very much in your face. There’s no beating about the bush here.

It’s not certain if inpattayanow’s resident food reviewer, Frugal Gourmand, will be wrapping his lips around the culinary offerings at Big Dick, but he may well be salivating at the thought of getting one into him so he can provide our readers with an idea of their flavour and texture. We can imagine many readers will be keen to know whether these dicks are usually soft or hard? Is there a creamy texture or lingering residue at any stage? Do they leave you feeling full and satisfied? Is it a suck it and see kind of snack, or one more suited to a kind of deep throated gobble?

With the addition of Big Dick to the culinary template of Fun Town, it surely can’t be too much longer before Pattaya’s gastronomic landscape is recognised as worthy of a box-load of Michelin stars. Pinning one on a Big Dick might be too much of a gobful, but surely a glowing article in a renowned international gourmet magazine would go far in pricking the international senses of the world’s leading gourmands to the wide variety of eateries in Pattaya.

©Duncan Stearn