Soi Bukhao -The English Patient (part 1)

[Pattaya One]

I have to admit I like Soi Bukhao. It used to be a white elephant but it’s an increasingly important area of Pattaya, with a rosy future ahead of it.

Often I find myself strolling down there of a daytime wondering why so many people hate it, admittedly as I leap out of the way of speeding baht buses, with no pavement to offer me sanctuary.

However I do notice on market days the bars fill up with people who look like they know how to handle a bottle of Chang from a lifetime of experience.

Whenever I have been down the Soi at night I haven’t seen anything particularly lewd, offensive or objectionable either (this being Pattaya), so I really needed an answer to what Pattaya’s internet posters’ big problem is with the place, cruelly dubbed “The English Patient”, on account of the large number of British welfare benefit claimants who allegedly hang out there.

I endeavoured to find out what all the fuss was about by reviewing Thai Visa’s threads: “Soi Bukhao Likes and Dislikes?”  “And Does Soi Bukhao Actually Exist?”

I am always surprised by the variations on the name. Buakhaow, Buakao, Buakow, Bukhao, BuaKhao, Bua Khao, Bukhaow, Buckaow, and many others are used by posters, so it was perhaps reasonable for andyww to comment: The street seems to be a virtual soi which only exists on internet forums.

Musongman believe not only did it exist, but it is the dirtiest, noisiest, most undesirable, traffic-congested address in all of Pattaya.

Not so, Charlie1968 countered: good soi, everything you need; nice hotels, plenty of choice for food and drink, all for a reasonable price, and not too far to walk to the beach.

And there we could probably leave it, as many posts, for and against, are a variation of the above.

But where would the fun be in that? Usually the disagreements about Soi Bukhao become quickly, irrationally and enjoyably heated, so I decided to plough on through the absorbing “likes and dislikes” thread .

In answer to Jingthing’s question: Take away the whores and the punters, and what would you have? LennyW pithily answered: A midden! More aesthetically, craig3365 replied: One of the ugliest places on earth...

AndyPooots pulled no punches with his contribution: I like the soi, hate the kind of expat/sexpat tourists it attracts. The worse of British can be found there, Jonny come lately, sun-reading idiots who know everything about Thailand without going anywhere other than Pattaya.

To which JimmyChoons replied: WOW! What an incredibly sweeping statement. Would you like some more tar for your brush?

Syd Barrett stoutly defended the place:

As I expected, lots of cheap and nasty comments from people who either don't live near Soi Buakow or who have never visited Pattaya…There is a mixture of cafes, cheap restaurants, friendly bars, massage shops, apartment blocks, the twice weekly market,,,,and lots of very cheap eateries (30-40 baht) for Cheap Charlies like myself.

Unimpressed, RabC observed: The 40 baht meals only add to the reasons I do not go there, it’s not the food that I dislike it’s the balloon chasing tight-fists that frequent the place.

TCW commented that: I sometimes have lunch up there when I'm in Pattaya. Many of the foreigners on the street, wherever they are from, look like they have just finished a long stretch inside. And I think it has got worse, not better, in the past year or two. Some good places however.

More comprehensively and much more damagingly, rgs2001uk opined: It’s not exactly catering to the new high quality tourists we keep hearing about. For many it’s the last chance saloon, next stop Cambodia.

Certainly it has the cheapest beer in Pattaya, served in some hole in the wall beer bars by maidens well past their sell by date. The balloon chasers can be spotted carrying their Big C bags with plastic tupperware inside as they search for their evening meal, usually pitching up in some bar they have never set foot in before, spotted straight away by regulars, about the same time as they order a soda water or sprite, next descend on the free buffet and head for the toilet to fill up their plastic boxes to keep them going for the next 3 days.

All in all a cheap charlies hangout, the thought of a night out in Jamesons would horrify them, or leave them skint for a week.

Doesn't look like the dirtiest, noisiest, most undesirable, traffic-congested address in all of Pattaya

BaronCasey demurred (and at this stage, there was so much vitriol flying about that I couldn’t tell what was a wind-up what were genuinely-held opinions): It's a terrific Soi. I think it has a little village feel about it. The girls at the Pook Bar are delightful and always very hospitable when I turn up in the early hours of pre-dawn, half-cut and pinch a few bottoms. However I've noticed recently that as I ride past on my motorbike in any afternoon, one or two of the girls now scowl at me. One of them usually shakes her fist too. I think she likes me.

As the debate became increasingly polarized and angry, and the delights of Soi Bukhao were being impugned left, right and centre, a furious Somtampet, a big fan of the soi, queried the credentials of the ‘anti” brigade:

I think they are Bangkok knobheads, total pathetic excuses for human beings, before dealing with the above  poster AndyPooots, and making him an offer he could easily refuse: “come join some of these guys you disrespect and tell them to their faces. I know what I would do if you dissed me face to face….

And at that point I think we’ll leave it, the thread hanging on the verge of closure for intemperate remarks, and threats of physical violence.

Yes indeed, an excellent thread, although I’m still none the wiser as to why harmless Soi Bukhao is such an inflammatory topic on Pattaya's web boards.

Maybe I will find the answer to that question in Part 2.

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