Confusing Pattaya

December 2, 2011

Reading through inpattayanow recently, I found a Letter to the Editor under the title; ‘I feel a little queer - man in ladyboy dilemma’. The writer expressed a concern he had “come to fancy ladyboys more and more” and was worried this meant he was turning gay. His letter was replied to by ‘Nightmarch’ in an open and honest manner. Reading both the letter and reply brought to mind many questions I have held since first being ‘exposed’ to the ladyboy phenomena in Pattaya many years ago.

I have two gay friends who are great guys to have a beer with and I enjoy their company. Only when we decide to go bar-hopping is there a parting of the ways; they go off to their favourite bars and I go off to mine. When asked about ladyboys, they both strongly agreed that a truly gay man would not even consider going with a ladyboy. Apparently, they like their men to be men. Therefore, if you are of the opinion that a truly heterosexual man would not consider going with a ladyboy, it begs the question: who actually does enjoy going with ladyboys?

What about the ladyboys themselves? Do they like other ladyboys? I mean, they seem to have the best of both worlds so why don’t they all just stick together (no pun intended) and have a mass orgy?

Some years ago I went to my favourite beer bar and noticed a new Bar Hostess in attendance. She was stunning and from the second I walked in I could not keep my eyes off her. Not too tall, perfectly shaped waist and legs and a face like an angel. This bar is not renowned for stocking the most beautiful women in Pattaya so I made a comment to the manager. He replied, “Oh, so you like the katoey?”

“Bullshit!” was my eloquent answer.

Other friends already seated nearby then joined in, telling me the new attraction was definitely a katoey. I didn’t believe them and thought they were only slandering the vision of loveliness because the greedy bastards wanted to keep her for themselves. I decided to get a closer look by buying her a drink.

She accepted my offer and the closer she came to the table the better she looked. Miss Thailand, at least, if not Miss Asia. After verbally abusing all my laughing, so called friends, I asked her name.

She smiled and replied, “Lek,” in a voice that sounded like Sly Stallone with a throat infection. My erstwhile friends convulsed with laughter while my several hastily-made mental plans bit the proverbial dust.

Lek only lasted one night at the beer bar before being swept away by a rich American. I found out months later that her paramour had paid for her complete sex change operation plus breast enhancement. I regret never getting to see the final product.

And this brings me to another confusing point. If a guy is attracted to a ladyboy, why would he shell out a lot of money to have him/her undergo a full sex change? It seems logical to me that if you prefer women, why not just team up with a woman in the first place and save all that expense? Duh! There are plenty of beautiful women around.

Perhaps ‘Nightmarch’ hit the mark when he wrote, “Many psychologists and sex researchers have a belief that humans desire certain types of people rather [than] specific genders. It is not the genitalia that is paramount but the person.”

To the writer with the ‘ladyboy dilemma’, here in Pattaya, nobody cares what consenting adults do in private. In that respect, we are probably the most tolerant micro-society on earth. And true friends will not call you ‘queer’ if, either by design or by accident, you find yourself in a compromising situation with a katoey. Believe me, you are not the first and won’t be the last.