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  1. Ben Carter

    Just In From No Sex Land

    About a month ago I mentioned a book I'm writing and asked for titles. I'm still looking but I've had some positive comments about No Sex Land. Can that be built into the title? Before I posted a couple of chapters and received some good feedback. I had planned to get it published by the end of September but I had a few distractions. I now hope a Kindle version will be up in the next couple of weeks. Background - Two 40+ friends arrive in Pattaya for a 10-day vacation. Neither has been to Thailand before or heard of Pattaya. They are from a country called ‘No Sex Land.’ • Charlie Jones - Ex-professional footballer who played for United. He had it all and lost it with wine, woman, and song. And Betfair! He's a sleazeball type who soon adjusts to Pattaya. • Harry Bunker - Ex professional cricketer turned banker and totally opposite to Jonesie. For anyone who missed the original post chapters 1 and 2 follow along with chapter 39 are below. If anyone has any ideas on a title or comments about the title, please let me know. Thank you. Chapter 1 OUTSIDE SASSY’S BAR – THAILAND. “Hey. Mister! How are you today?” She shouted to Bunker passing on the other side of the Soi. Bunker looked behind him but with no one else around he realised she must have been speaking with him. He pointed to himself and silently mouthed the word ‘me.’ “Yes, you,” she called back. Bunker stopped in his tracks and she dodged motorbikes as she quickly ran across the Soi. She put her left arm through his right and placed her head on his right shoulder. Most of Sassy’s girls, who lounged around in chairs at the front of Sassy’s, stopped playing with their mobile phones and watched her go in for the kill. “What’s your name? I like you. Come to my bar and have a drink with me?” she brazenly asked as she playfully began to drag him across the Soi. Bunker held his ground. He had no idea why a total stranger would be harassing him in the middle of this Soi. “Oh. You like me. Why?” Bunker’s throat felt dry and nervously he coughed before he continued. “Ah, thank you. But are you sure? You don’t know me. Do you? Have we met before? You look very pretty. My name’s Harry Bunker. What’s yours?” She gazed at Bunker amazed by his response. Yes or no, plus a few more choice explicit four-letter words were the usual responses she received from strangers she targeted close to Sassy’s bar. Not this mixed up selection of phases which tripped over Bunker’s tongue as they stuttered out of his mouth. Although she thought he sounded polite making him another rarity for her in this location. But unfortunately words, in many circumstances for Harry Bunker, never came easily. Unless he’d already planned for certain situations and had a few standard replies all lined up. Bunker looked blank but at least he knew her name as she wore a tag just below her left breast where his eyes were now focused. She’d clearly neglected to wear a bra as her nipples poked against the flimsy material of her sexy Nike singlet top. They tantalised him. Her boss actually paid her 500 Baht to remove her bra, as she did all her girls when she selected them for outside bar duty patrol. She knew, a partially visible cheeky nipple, had a hypnotic impact on some customers especially when mixed with happy hour. She’d even considered calling her bar ‘Cheeky Nipples.’ This combination, pert breasts, and protruding nipples, and not happy hour, certainly worked for Bunker. They were Bunker breasts. He loved pert and he wanted to reach out and touch. She knew as she, like many girls, played this game with men. A routine which she’d perfected over the years. She flirted and she teased. It was like a kind of sexually imaginative physical cocktail laced together with a few raw provocative suggestions at every opportunity. She only had one objective. Bunker, without too much resistance, kept close to her as she pulled him across the busy Soi. Her Nike top included a simple message just below Nike’s famous logo. Not the usual ‘Just Do It’ as she’d replaced it, with me, which transformed her message to ‘Just Do Me.’ Bunker spotted it, thought about it, and quickly tried to banish that idea from his mind. She loved her shirt. She always seemed to get lucky when she wore it and within a few seconds of meeting Bunker, she believed she’d hooked him. She’d detected a look of pure lust in his eyes. The same look she’d noticed in many men who'd reached forty, and a lot more, might never have believed they’d get to spend some quality time with a sexy twenty-four year old goddess again. If indeed they ever had. She believed he’d soon pay her bar fine. A fee paid by customers that enabled them to take her out of Sassy’s Bar. ‘Just Do Me’ liked to keep track of her bar fines. Two nights before she’d recorded her 195th when an extremely drunk German couldn’t resist her charms. Later, back at his hotel whilst she showered, he fell into a coma-like sleep. Unable to wake him she relaxed and enjoyed watching Netflix movies on his large flat screen television. In her tiny room, which she shared with six other girls, they didn’t have a television. At 8:00 the following morning, as per their verbal contract, she left to visit a temple with a friend. Still unable to wake him she helped herself to their agreed contract fee, from his wallet, which she found in the back pocket of his jeans untidily discarded on the floor with the rest of his clothes that he’d worn the previous evening. Even though it contained far more than her 2,000 Baht she resisted all temptations to take any extra. Not even an extra forty Baht for her motorcycle taxi ride back to her room. Something she would have asked for if he’d woken up. She felt slightly guilty that they hadn’t engaged in any kind of sexual activities but she would have if he could have. She left him a thank you message, with her telephone number, in red lipstick on his bathroom mirror which he must have appreciated as he returned to Sassy’s that evening. They chatted, he bought her drinks, and they played bar games. Neither mentioned their previous encounter. “As you can see Harry my name’s Nikki.” Bunker’s eyes returned to meet hers. “Nice to meet you. That’s an interesting top you’re wearing. Do you understand your message?” Nikki appeared puzzled. She stared down as if seeing her statement for the first time before she slowly replied with a serious frown. “You mean. Just Do Me. Harry?” She didn’t give him time to reply. “Yes of course I do.” She paused for about twenty seconds breathing slowly and not smiling or blinking. Bunker felt uncomfortable. Finally, in a more subdued tone, she asked. “Are you interested Harry? Would you like to sleep with me? My bar fine’s 400 Baht and I will stay with you until noon tomorrow. At that time you will have to pay me 2,000 Baht. Do we have a deal?” She extended her hand for Bunker to shake. Another tip passed on to her from her boss who believed a sensual handshake might just tip the balance in her girls' favour should a customer be unsure of what to do next. Nikki’s career at Sassy’s, a hot spot venue for Pattaya tourists located in Soi Lengkee, began fourteen months ago. Prior to this, she’d helped her family operate their rice farm located in a small village in Northern Thailand. But after a blazing row with her drunken father, she’d fled to Pattaya. Two days later Sassy, the sexy and voluptuous owner of Sassy’s Bar, hired her. Although her new career nearly came to an abrupt end on her first day due to a disagreement with her first bar fine. She’d only been working an hour when Mario, from Milan in Italy who could have been forty years her senior, decided to bar fine her. Mario, a regular visitor to Soi Lengkee, liked fresh blood and he’d soon picked up the scent as he the Soi Lengkee. It had been a while since he’d indulged, due to his Thai wife not letting him go anywhere alone, but with her wrapped up in a card game he had an opportunity that he had to make the most of. He knew one of Soi Lengkee’s bars would provide him with exactly what he needed. As he walked he sniffed and his rather large nose directed him straight to Sassy’s. He soon spotted her and knew his extraordinary special senses hadn’t let him down. He moved in, bought her one drink just to confirm his fresh blood suspicions, and they were gone. Mario, still sniffing as he walked out, congratulated himself on a job well done. He knew the Pattaya game and now considered himself a Grandmaster. Less than an hour later, the unsmiling Grandmaster, stormed back into Sassy’s bar. Nikki, with eye makeup, smudged all around her eyes, followed a few seconds later. The reason for Mario’s anger soon became apparent as he announced to Sassy, and anyone in earshot which meant the rest of Sassy’s bar, that Nikki hadn’t performed to his expectations. He demanded a bar fine refund and made a big speech about Nikki’s inept performance. Nikki cried more. She wanted to quit and go home to her parents. Heated arguments ensued which lead to the local police, dressed in their familiar brown uniforms, being called. The boys in brown immediately ordered Sassy to stop her music and seemed to take the matter seriously. They questioned Nikki who meekly replied. They also made notes and appeared to reprimand Sassy. At least they raised their voices in her direction and shook their heads. But they spoke in Thai which meant Mario couldn’t understand anything they said. He might well have been a Pattaya fresh blood Grandmaster but the local language remained a complete mystery to him. They could have been speaking about the weather or poking fun at the aging Italian stallion for all he knew. After ten minutes, of what seemed an intense investigation, a member of Sassy’s staff appeared with cold beers for the boys in brown. Drinking, whilst on duty, didn’t seem to matter to them and they happily accepted. For the next five minutes, they ignored Mario, who looked perplexed, as the music cranked up and the party mood returned to Sassy’s. Finally, Mario found enough courage to tap one of the officers on his shoulder. Very slowly the officer turned and looked up and down at the Mario. He narrowed his eyes and his facial expression suggested he might have been looking at his shoes after stepping in something left on the street by a dog. Mario tried to plead his case again but the officer, after taking a long drink from his bottle, pointed to Mario and Sassy’s exit. Mario understood. He’d been in this situation before. As he stormed out, without any kind of refund, he brashly announced that he’d never return to Sassy’s. Other customers, who’d enjoyed the show and knew Mario very well, cheered as he left. Pattaya’s finest, who might have faced this situation many times, stayed for more drinks and jokes with Sassy and her staff. Later that night a more experienced Sassy bar girl, called Poppy, befriended Nikki. At 4:00 a.m., when Sassy’s last customer staggered out, Nikki and Poppy walked to a twenty-four hour local restaurant located a few minutes away in Soi Buakhao. Here they ate Somtam, a spicy green papaya salad that is especially loved by Thais, and drank wine coolers. This is where they remained until sunrise. Poppy provided Nikki with a full account of her three years in Pattaya. She admitted that she hadn’t enjoyed every moment and she’d experienced a lot of pain along the way. But now she earned more than anyone in her family had ever made. Poppy spoke about, ‘No Pain No Gain,’ something Sassy always joked about with all her girls. Nikki soaked up everything Poppy said and later, in her tiny room before she slept, she made a promise to herself to embrace her new lifestyle. The following night she applied everything she’d picked up from Poppy and in time other tricks from Sassy’s staff. Plus of course, Sassy herself who, if there were such things as bar girls degrees, would have celebrated receiving hers a long time ago from Pattaya’s prestigious ‘Streets of Pattaya City’ university. She’d developed all kinds’ gimmicks to lure foreigners into her bar including ‘Nipples on Parade’ which she called ‘Operation NIP.’ ‘Nipples in Play.’ Nikki soon became a Sassy Girl superstar with no more disgruntled customers. A few satisfied clients even discussed her qualities in Pattaya chat rooms and on social networking sites. A few men, addicted to vacations in Pattaya, included sleeping with her in their boxes to be ticked. Nikki had a slender, firm looking body, with a golden brown complexion and she wore a black mini skirt which just about covered her sexy black G-strings. Her legs were flawless. Her long shining black hair hung all the way down to the base of her back and she had soft come to bed eyes. “I’m from England Nikki. Where are you from?” asked Bunker. “You didn’t answer my question?” She continued with her serious frown. Again he felt awkward. “We’ll get back to that later. I’m interested to know more about you?” “Okay Harry, I’m from Udon Thani, I’m twenty-four and I really like men from England. Is that enough for you? Can you buy me a drink now?” She snapped. Bunker felt uncomfortable. Finally, she smiled. She’d been teasing him. She firmly believed he would be her 196th.   Chapter 2 ROUTE SIX2SIX BAR SOI SIX THAILAND. Still massaging his upper thigh, through his jeans, Jonesie's Soi Six girl asked. “Can we go upstairs? I want a short-time with you now?” Charlie Jones, who before he’d arrived in Pattaya had never heard of short-times, soon found out exactly what they were and he loved them. He also discovered he quite enjoyed being fondled in public. A totally bizarre discovery for him which he’d never even considered before. Although he knew in his heyday, when everyone referred to him as ‘Champagne Charlie,’ football groupies throughout the UK all wanted to boast that he or she’d slept with England’s super striker. There may also have been occasions when crowds gathered to watch him in action in places like pub restrooms, car parks, and on snooker tables. He even managed a few sessions on Old Trafford’s boardroom table with his boss’s secretary. His boss Sir Alex, who also had a bit of a soft spot for her, even caught them at it one day. Sir Alex said nothing until the halftime break during the next match. Then, much to the amazement of his teammates, Jonesie got a real dose of the hairdryer treatment even though he’s played quite well and scored a couple of goals. But public shows of affection seemed quite normal for Pattaya’s Soi Six. “Wait for a second love. Let me finish my drink first,” he replied. As she squeezed his groin tighter he gulped more beer straight from his bottle. “You can take that with you,” she purred. Jonesie smiled. He didn’t need to think twice about that as he desperately wanted his secret weapon, trapped inside his jeans, let loose for action. His wake up session that morning hadn’t gone well and now he needed a good one to make up for it. “Okay, what do I have to pay?” asked Jonesie with his right hand reaching into the back pocket of his jeans searching for his wallet. She smiled at a girl sat close by who gave her thumbs up. This would be a third trip upstairs in the last four hours. “The room is 400 Baht and it’s another 700 Baht for me.” She paused for a few seconds before adding. “Or maybe 1,000 depending on what you want to do?” “Really, what can I get for an extra 300?” he asked with a huge smile on his face. She took his right hand, placed it on the right cheek of her ass, and winked at him. Jonesie put a tight squeeze on her ass confirming he’d got it. A man, standing at the bar, overheard their conversation and interjected. “Go for it mate! For an extra 300, it’s well worth it.” Jonesie paid his drinks bill, short time room fee, and followed her. As she passed her friend, who’d thumbed up with her earlier, she said something and this time they shared a high five. They made their way up a narrow staircase, with a low ceiling, to a gaudy dark blue painted room which smelled a bit musty. There they quickly undressed before he followed her into a tiny bathroom with just about enough space for both of them. She turned on the shower still wrapped in her towel. With bright bathroom lights, he felt she might be shy about exposing her naked body. She soaped his back but when she came round to his front he pulled her towel away. She flinched but he wouldn’t let her have it back. Her breasts were a lot smaller than he’d imagined. Downstairs, in a tight fitting red cocktail dress, they’d seemed enormous. He kicked himself for not checking first and made a mental note to breast check first in future. He fondled them and played with her nipples. She soaped and closely inspected his penis pulling his foreskin back further than any other girl had ever done before. Luckily for him, it must have passed her quality control test as she gave him a quick suck of approval before passing him mouthwash which he swished around his mouth for a few seconds. He stepped out of the shower and scrutinized her body as she showered. She must have been only four feet six inches tall with a pair of chunky thighs. Downstairs, with the dim lights and everything else, she’d seemed a lot taller. She had a relatively small ass although her large waist matched her thighs. In this business, she definitely needed a few aerobic sessions before the bottom fell out of her market. Apart from that, he thought she had potential. Her black hair came halfway down her back where she had a nicely worked butterfly tattoo in the middle of two tribal looking designs just above her ass. Not a problem for Jonesie who liked tattoos and he had a few of his own. On her left shoulder, she had some kind of tattooed Thai writing and a huge colourful cobra decorated her right thigh. Around her stomach, where she had stretch marks confirming she’d had at least one child, were three red roses. Unfortunately, they did a poor job of hiding those marks. He sensed she wanted to finish her shower alone so he threw his towel over his shoulder and walked back to the room. This time he didn’t notice any self-conscious customers hastily leaving other rooms. A maid blushed when she saw him but he didn’t care or feel embarrassed. Why should he? He felt that he belonged here. He’d been thinking about short-time sex, in Soi Six, all day and now that moment had almost arrived. As he lay naked on an uncomfortable double bed, with dark blue sheets that matched this room’s interior, he stared up a mechanical rickety old three blade ceiling fan suspended above his head. He might have passed her quality control but that fan, as the blades sped around chasing each other, looked like it might come crashing down at any moment. As he waited, slightly annoyed as she seemed to be taking rather a long time, he decided to send Bunker a text. “Bunker I’m in Soi Six’s Route Six-2-Six bar. I love it here. It’s basic. It’s cheap. It’s a sleaze-ball no frills brothel paradise. Get in quick. Take a girl. Have sex. Pay her. Get out quick. This is what you need Bunker. Get here as quick as you can.” Jonesie smiled again. As an out and out sleaze-ball he knew his place. Five minutes later she opened the door and stared at him for a few seconds as if she might be having second thoughts. She didn’t want to do it but she removed her towel and climbed on the bed. Immediately she buried her head between his legs. He thought she might even have taken a deep breath before going in. She sucked. He watched. She tickled his balls with her fingers. He laced his fingers together around the back of his head. She used her hands to pump him as she sucked. He didn’t move. She thought about her food, waiting downstairs, that her favourite mobile vendor had just delivered. It tasted so much better hot and spicy. She needed this over quickly. He thought about his future. Could Pattaya’s Soi Six provide him with an opportunity to launch a new career? He smiled as she sucked. Chapter 39 PATTAYA DAY FOUR - Laid out on a small bed, in the back room of Doctor Wanchai’s surgery, a drip slowly entered Jonesie’s system through a vain in his right arm. Bunker sat close by. “This is totally unnecessary Bunker and I’m sure he’s doing it just to bump up his cost.” “I don’t know Charlie. He seems professional enough. He’s taken a blood sample, urine sample and given you a huge shot of something. If Andy said he’s good he must be.” Bunker didn’t want to stay for the two hours estimated time of the fluid transfer. He never felt comfortable around hospitals or being close to sick people spreading germs. He’d already spotted one other foreigner in the surgery, a thin elderly man probably in his seventies, who didn’t stop coughing. A local girl, who could have been forty years younger, sat with him and had a right go at him as he’d tried to light a cigarette. “I’m going to get a few things, Charlie. Do you need anything?” “Just an update on what happened with Ying last night?” “We’ve already discussed this. She was drunk and needed sleep. When we left Nid’s a motorcycle taxi rider stopped us. He spoke English and I gave him money to take Ying home. That was it.” “What about Ying? Did you pay her as well?” “I felt sorry for her so I gave her a few hundred Baht.” “Don’t believe you Bunker. You probably paid her the same as I paid Ay. At least I actually fucked mine.” Jonesie closed his eyes for a second. As he opened them he glared at Bunker. “Come on Bunker? It’s time for you to wake up. Forget about your plans. Forget about the way you’ve lived your life and start looking at things this way. We’ve accidentally landed on planet fuck. We’ve only got ten days. We’re on day four already and you’ve not had one yet! Okay. I know you didn’t have time to prepare your usual, and may I say utterly fucking ridiculous, pre-holiday charts. But listen, mate. There’s no need for that here. It’s all about fucking, plain and simple. Straight in and out with the minimum of fuss. We’re here for a reason Bunker, it’s a fuck festival, and someone somewhere is looking out for us. You know we need this. Ying looked tired. So fucking what. So Ying didn’t seem up for it. So fucking what. It’s her job to fuck you Bunker. Let’s look at it another way. You’re forty. Maybe you’ll live for another twenty years. How many days it that Bunker?” Bunker stared at his friend laid on the bed. The liquid, entering Jonesie’s system, seemed to be working and bringing back his usual pinkish colour to his bloated face. “Why Charlie? Where are you going with this? Does it really matter?” “Just humour me Bunker. You can work that number out in no time.” Bunker sighed. “Okay, Charlie that’s eight thousand three hundred and sixty-five days. Plus a few extra for leap years.” “Right Bunker you need to start looking at these days in a totally different way. These are your remaining fuck days. Instead of your normal plans, you need to prepare your fuck strategies. Your fuck chart. You said eight thousand and something left. Well, with your usual habit of beating targets, you should make your number ten thousand. Ten thousand fucks in the next twenty years. With two or three a day you should be okay. But Bunker you need to get out of the saddle today with at least three. By the time we board that plane to fly home you need to have had at least.” Jonesie scratched his balls with his free hand as he searched for a number. As he found it he pointed to the ceiling with his index finger. “Fifty Bunker! You should have at least fifty under your belt.” Bunker didn’t want to argue and shrugged his shoulders as he walked away. Why would he want to have sex, fifty times, in the next six days with total strangers? Passing Doctor Wanchai’s consulting room door he heard the other patient still coughing.
  2. adrenaline19

    Best Choice.

    I'm currently doing hotel research for my stay next month. I have always stayed near WS and I've decided to find a different hotel. Here is the problem, I can't decide which one I like the best! I've narrowed it down to the last few choices, but would love some input. A little bit of help from the forum would be appreciated. So, what do you all think? Where should I stay and why?
  3. I've already written something about this nice little guesthouse in the Soi 6- area but i think ISS Lagune is worth its own thread. I recently stay at ISS Lagune for two weeks. I have a small room about 22 sqm. It's clean and tidy, has AC and costs 700 Baht per night. Bed is hard and big enough for two (or even for three if you take small Thai ladys ;) ). If i look outside my window i can see the girls from Chili Bar on the other side (just had one girl from there btw...) No one cares how many and how often you take girls with you so there is NO additional lady fee. Breakfast is not complimentary but cheap and good. After the restaurant closes you get in through the backdoor entrance from Soi 6/1. What is a bit disgusting at Soi 6 is that girls often don't want to go out for shorttime especially now, as there are many "fresh" girls in town. So you have to pay for a chabby room at the bar instead of going just to your own room at ISS Lagune. But that is, of course, not up to ISS. All in all, really worth the money. I can recommend ISS Lagune and will definitely come back.
  4. I was eating at Soi 6 corner when I witnessed a jetski scam. It happens every day, and the police are involved. Just to remember to NEVER RENT A JETSKI in Pattaya. A group of Japanese are scammed. The jetski scammers tells them they damaged the jetski, even if it is not true. The Japanese group of people are formal they don't do anything wrong, they call the police. Another scammer comme with a series of photo of the Jetski (fake of course) that are supposed to prove that the jetski was not damaged before. The police tells the Japanese to pay, as they see proof of evidence. Japanese waiting for their friend to get money from the ATM Friend (with no shirt) comes with money and pay the jetski scammer.
  5. Nitwit1

    Jack Tar bar staff

    I've heard the staff in the jack tar are well up for it? anybody done any of them?
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